Bad Decisions

Chapter Thirty

-Devin-

The next few days were some of the most difficult of his life. He knew he had done the right thing by fixing Avery's project, giving him the opportunity he deserved, and then walking away and leaving Avery alone, but it came at the cost of his own happiness. He missed Avery so much. Everything felt a bit duller without Avery around, especially without his cheerful smile, big blue eyes, and upbeat attitude. It was hard enough not being able to touch him, but not being able to be around Avery or see him was almost too much for him to bear. 

He hadn't left his condo since he'd returned from the camp. Most of his time was spent sleeping or playing mindless games on his phone. He had food delivered, but the truth was he wasn't eating much.

He'd never felt hopeless before. Everything in life had come easily to him, but now he felt like things might never be okay again. He didn't know if he'd ever be happy. If he'd ever stop missing everything about Avery. His laugh, the uncertainty on his face whenever Devin had told Avery he wanted him, the way Avery seemed to be unaware that he was the most beautiful person on Earth.

His body craved Avery's in a million different ways. His fingertips wanted to glide over Avery's soft skin. His hands wanted to rest on Avery's waist as Avery rode him slowly. His arms wanted to wrap around Avery and squeeze him tightly. The entire length of his body wanted to be pressed against Avery's body as he held him. His eyes wanted to drink Avery in, everything from his adorable face to his perky ass. His lips wanted to be on Avery's lips, on his forehead, his jaw, his neck. And his heart wanted to love Avery, every day until forever.

But right now his heart physically ached. He'd never cared about another guy before, but he was obsessed with Avery. Having to say goodbye, without actually having said a word to Avery before he slipped out the door unnoticed, was gut wrenching. 

He picked up his phone from the coffee table and opened the one picture he kept coming back to. It was the only picture of him and Avery, taken on a hike with their faces filling the screen and the blur of mountain peaks behind them. He let his head fall back against the couch, and tears quietly streamed down his face. If this was love, he didn't want anything to do with it ever again.

-Avery-

He'd finished out the week at work and had done a quick morning hike with Sam, and then he was off to make the drive to the city. On the way there, he second-guessed his decision to track Devin down. Part of him was convinced that Devin had left without saying goodbye because he was happy to be gone and didn't want to speak to any of them again, but part of him couldn't let go of the moments they'd shared together, especially what Devin had said when he'd shown him his rebuilt project and explained why he'd done it.

I care about you.

I care about you a lot.

Those words floated through his mind. Could they mean anything else other than what they were on the surface? Devin wouldn't say something like that if he didn't at least want to talk to him again. He wanted so much to believe that he meant something to Devin. He wanted to believe that Devin could like him, just as he had believed many times before. He couldn't have imagined the way Devin would look at him sometimes, or how tender he was when they were in bed or in the shower together. But those moments didn't make sense when held up against Devin destroying his project or leaving without a goodbye. He didn't know what to believe.

All he knew was that he had to try to get answers. He had to know if Devin was gone for good - just a memory that he would hold onto for years and years, wishing he could have had more time. He knew he'd never forget Devin.

He finally made it to Bellevue, with its towering office buildings, upscale shopping malls, and high-end restaurants. He pulled into the parking garage under Devin's condo building, thankful that Devin's dad, Logan, had given him the access codes. He felt a bit guilty lying to Logan about why he wanted to see Devin, saying that it was regarding the firm and the new project, but Logan had seemed happy that he was going to visit Devin.

Hoping the work truck wasn't too out of place among the luxury vehicles parked around him, he found the elevator and entered another access code. When he stepped onto Devin's floor, he felt even more nervous as he looked at the nice furnishings in the hallway. This was somewhere he could never afford to live. Would Devin even want anything to do with him outside of the camp? They were all on an equal playing field there, but outside of the camp, he and Devin lived in two very different worlds.

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself, he knocked on Devin's door. He waited for what seemed like an eternity and was about to give up and walk away when Devin finally opened the door. He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair messed up. He looked even hotter than usual this way, and Avery felt heat course through his body.

Devin was staring at him like he had three heads.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

Devin looked like a deer in headlights, but he nodded and stepped aside.

"You just took off," he said as soon as Devin had closed the door, figuring he should get right to the point. "You didn't even tell me you were leaving or say goodbye. Nothing." Exasperated, he shook his head. "Why?"

Devin shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't think anyone would care to say goodbye to me. I wouldn't exactly deserve it. I just wanted to fix things with you and make it right before I left."

"Devin, I care!" he said loudly. "I care that you left without saying goodbye. And you don't fix things by sneaking off unnoticed. It's because of you that I'm finally getting to implement my project and make a real difference, and I wanted you to celebrate with me. I looked for you after talking to everyone and you were just gone."

"I'm sorry," Devin replied. "I didn't know. I thought you hated me."

His frustration with Devin faded and he lowered his voice. "I'm sorry I gave you that impression. I never hated you, not even after what you did. But I had to keep my distance in order to protect myself. After you destroyed my project, I really thought that I couldn't help you and that you'd never be a good person, but it turns out I was wrong. What you did with rebuilding my project and getting your dad's firm involved was incredible."

Devin finally looked him in the eyes. "You deserve every bit of that opportunity and everything that's to come. I'm sorry it happened the way it did though."

He smiled softly at Devin. "You're forgiven. I'm proud of you for fixing your mistakes and working hard to be better. Most of all, I'm proud of you for showing that you care about someone else. I know I kept my distance and didn't trust you, but I do care about you, Devin. After all this, I thought we could at least be friends. It sounds like we'll be seeing each other at your dad's firm anyway."

Devin stared at him, not smiling. It wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting.

"I forgive you, I promise," he assured Devin. "Friends?" he asked, holding out his hand and waiting for Devin's answer.