Bad Decisions

Chapter Twenty-Three

-Devin-

The next morning, he woke up and laid in bed, wishing the previous night had been just a dream. He'd tossed and turned, not being able to settle into a comfortable position without Avery's body against his. 

He also couldn't stop replaying their conversation in his head. Avery hadn't even given him the chance to explain how he felt. The most shocking part was that Avery didn't want him. He'd thought that Avery liked him, especially after Avery had lusted after him for weeks. But he started having a nagging doubt that maybe he should have known that someone as good as Avery wouldn't want anything to do with him. His looks and his body worked on every other guy, but it wasn't enough when it came to Avery.

In addition to being upset, he was embarrassed that he'd been about to let his guard down and be vulnerable with someone for the first time. He'd never felt stupid and insecure until now. This is why he should have stuck to his rules about never sleeping with a guy more than a few times and never letting a guy stay the night. If he had just not given a fuck, this never would have happened. He wouldn't have fallen for someone, especially someone he never saw coming.

He got dressed and started walking. He was too upset to get breakfast and risk seeing Avery. He didn't know where he was going, but he headed down one of the paths, hoping that being in nature would make him feel better. On the left, he noticed the shed where Avery kept his project. 

At the thought of Avery, a wave of hot anger suddenly coursed through his body. Who did Avery think he was? He hadn't even wanted Avery in the beginning. He hadn't been the slightest bit interested. He shouldn't waste his time pining over a guy who never would have turned his head had they met in any other situation. All he had to do was go back to not wanting Avery and not being attracted to him. He could do that somehow, right?

Frustrated, he entered the shed and kicked over a bucket of tools inside the door. He wasn't fooling anyone. There was no way he could ever forget Avery. No way he could go back to not wanting him. It hurt, and being hurt about something like this made him mad. He didn't want to feel this way. No one rejected him, especially not someone like Avery.

His thoughts began a downward spiral. He wasn't going to get laid anymore while he was here. That was bad enough, but he didn't even want to think about not getting to sleep next to Avery. Everything had changed last night, and nothing was going his way.

He felt like crying, but he wasn't the type of person who did that, so he let his anger reach a boiling point instead. He wanted to hit something, so he kicked the baffle prototype nearest to him. Pieces flew across the shed and the structure began to crumble. It was satisfying, and he smirked as he kicked it again. If he was going to have to go back to not wanting Avery, he had to go back to who he used to be. Causing destruction was his thing. He was good at that. Avery had destroyed his heart, so he was going to destroy his project. He started kicking and stomping on the rest of the prototypes, shattering the materials badly enough that they couldn't be salvaged.

"What are you doing?!" a voice rang out, sounding high and upset. 

He turned to see Avery standing in the doorway of the shed, looking at the scene before him in disbelief. Avery had tears in his eyes, and he looked utterly betrayed. 

The words Devin wanted to say died on his lips. Somehow, saying that he did this because Avery rejected him last night didn't make sense anymore. It seemed like an immature, callous, petty justification. He felt his face turn red, and he pushed past Avery and strode out of the shed. When he looked back, Avery had sunk onto his knees and picked up a piece of one of the ruined prototypes. Devin couldn't watch, and he all but ran back to his cabin.

Once he was inside, he began to pace. His anger was gone, and regret immediately took its place. Seeing Avery's reaction had snapped him back into reality. In that instant, he had known without a doubt that he never wanted to do anything to cause Avery pain. He couldn't be that guy anymore, even if he thought he was tough and uncaring and destructive. Seeing Avery hurt made him feel sick.

Avery was never going to forgive him. He'd worked so hard on those prototypes for months, and Devin had destroyed them all in a single moment of cruelty. If it was true - what had been simmering under the surface for a few weeks now, that he loved Avery - even he knew this wasn't how you treat someone you love. Devil had never been a more fitting nickname for him than right now. His stomach twisted and rolled as the image of Avery's devastated face filled his head, and he ran to the bathroom and threw up.

-Avery-

He lay in his bed feeling hollow. He'd left the shed, leaving his ruined project scattered on the floor. There was no point in trying to salvage it or clean it up. He couldn't bear to go back in there again. It was all over. All of his hard work - months of planning and building and using any spare money he had to purchase materials. Nothing mattered anymore.

He shouldn't have trusted Devin. Devin had done nothing but use him, and he had allowed it. He felt ashamed and angry with himself for ever letting his guard down. His belief that everyone had some good in them had been wrong - there was nothing redeemable about Devin. Some people truly were beyond hope.

When he thought Devin might retaliate, he assumed Devin would start slacking off again and make life difficult for everyone at the camp. He'd had no idea that Devin would destroy something that meant so much to him, something that he'd put hours of work into and something he'd done to help animals. Devin wasn't just hurting him; he was hurting the salmon as well. Who could be that cruel?

He didn't know how long he'd laid in his bed, but eventually he heard a knock on his door. Fearing that it would be Devin, he didn't get up to answer. The knocking continued, and then he heard Sam's voice.

"Come in," he called out, not wanting to get up. Fortunately, he hadn't locked the door after he came back from the shed.

He had his back to the room, and he felt Sam sit on the bed. "Are you okay?"

"No," he whispered.

"Are you sick, or is it Devin?" she asked.

"Devin."

She sighed dramatically. "Avery, I don't want to say 'I told you so', but I knew it wasn't a good idea for you to get involved with Devin again. I was trying so hard to support you, but he's already done something to you again. What did he say this time? Or do? You never told me what happened last time."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"If you don't want to talk, will you at least come on a short hike with me instead? Dinner is in a couple hours."

"I can't."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and rolled him over onto his back, and he knew that as soon as she saw the tears staining his cheeks, she would understand. He had never cried in front of her.

Just as he thought, Sam looked alarmed. "Avery, what happened?!" she asked.

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. There's nothing anyone can do to fix it anyway."

"Maybe I can't fix it, but I at least want to listen and help if I can. But I can't do either if you don't tell me what he did," she said, frustrated.

"I know, but I don't need help. I just want to be left alone."

Sam looked down at him with sadness in her eyes. "If you change your mind, call me. I can bring you dinner."

"You don't need to do that. I don't want any food."

"Avery...you're really starting to worry me."

"Don't. I'm sorry if I'm being dramatic," he apologized. "If you want to help, please tell Mitch that I'm sick and need the day off tomorrow."

Sighing, she nodded. "Okay." She reached down and squeezed his hand. "Just promise me that you'll call me or come get me if you need anything or want to talk."

"I will. Thanks, Sam."

She gave his hand one last squeeze and then left. He rolled back over and faced the wall, hoping he'd be able to sleep. At least if he was asleep, he wouldn't be hurting.