cause you were all yellow | a.i.

one.

young and beautiful lana del rey
"will you still love me when im no longer young and beautiful?"

how does that coldplay song go? for you id bleed myself dry? yeah, something like that. or theres a part in the beginning that say look at the stars, look at how they shine for you, and everything you do, yeah, they were all yellow?

well, when i went to that rooftop that night, i went to watch the stars. at least thats what i told myself. i didnt actually have a reason for my wandering but i definitely didnt mean to go there to meet my yellow, but i did.

i met my yellow that night.

but apparently he didnt.

——-

it was almost 11pm. i was walking down yet another unfamiliar street, my path only lit by the faint streetlights above my head. there was barely any traffic passing by me, every once in a while an car or two will fly by. their headlights blinded me as they drove down the opposite side of the road i was used to.

i wasnt headed anywhere specific, i just wanted out of that house.

every once in a while a store along side the road would catch my eye, or a window above that still had life inside.

i was following polaris. i wasnt sure where she was taking me, but i was following her. shes the only stable star in the sky, the only one that never moves. everything revolves around her.

god, the things i would do to simply be her. her jobs easy, just light the path for lost souls to follow and stay put.

god, the things i would do just to be one amongst the stars.

i continued to follow her, ignoring the passing cars and unfamiliar faces.

i didnt know where she was taking me to or why i couldnt stop following her, but i just kept following her.

looking back now, i know exactly what she was leading me to but i still dont know why i kept following her.

she led me to a parking garage with another lost soul sitting on top of it.

i climbed 5 flights of stairs to reach the top floor. my eyes locked on to the flannel covered back of a brown haired boy, his legs dangling over the edge of the wall he sat on.

most girls in my position would turn around and run. let me rephrase that, most sane girls. but polaris told me to keep going.

i still dont know why she told me to keep going but she did.

my feet carried me over to the wall. i sat down, not acknowledging his presence, keeping my feet on the grounded side. i could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face as he observed every inch of me.

we sat in comfortable silence for a little while until my eyes wondered back up to polaris.

"all the stars are just as big and bright as the sun. did you know that?" i whispered as i finally turned my head to look at him.

my eyes locked onto his hazel ones, dancing around in the mixture of color.

"yeah, the sun just drowns them all out." he replied in a heavy australian accent as he looked away.

"it just drowns them all out," i repeated as my eyes jumped from constellation to constellation.

the comfortable silence fell back between us. i continued to observe the sky as he continued to study every part of me he could.

"ya know, coldplays wrong," he stated simply, breaking our silence.

"oh yeah?" i pulled my eyes from the sky to look over at him as his eyes searched the same sky i once did.