cause you were all yellow | a.i.

thirty.

invisible 5 seconds of summer
"i was already missing before the night i left."

i didnt remember much of what happened after i fell asleep at lukes until i woke up in the same arms i fell asleep in.

this time he was carrying me inside his house.

i was still half asleep as i held onto him, digging my head farther into his chest.

he opened the door and walked me inside, still holding me tight.

i didnt catch much as he began talking to his mom. he was speaking quietly to keep from waking me as he thought i was asleep.

the one thing i did catch was when his mom told him, "be careful ashton."

and he asked her, "what do you mean?"

"ive never seen you this happy, so i dont know what will happen when you fall back again," i heard her say as ashton began up the stairs. "i dont want what happened last time to happen again."

i dont want what happened last time to happen again? what does that mean?

"it wont mum," ashton told her as he reached the top of the stairs. "i promise."

i felt ashtons arms slip out from under me as he gently placed me down on his bed, pulling his covers up over me as the cold grew where his contact left.

his bathroom light flicked on, causing me to squint my eyes tighter. pretty soon i heard the water begin to run as he turned on the shower.

i laid in his bed, breathing in his scent that his covers managed to encapsulate. i waited for the sound of the water to stop, waiting til ashton would come back to me.

once the water shut off, the light from the bathroom illuminated his room for a couple seconds. he quickly flipped it off when he saw me squinting from his bed.

"oh no, did i wake you up?" he whispered to me as he dried his hair with a towel, walking over towards the bed.

"no, ive been awake for a little while," i told him as he started towards his closet to find clothes.

"how longs a little while?" he asked with a smile, nerves peeking through his voice.

"since you carried me inside," i told him, thinking back to what his mom had said.

"shit," i heard him whisper under his breath.

i wanted to ask him but i didnt want to push him.

"you can ask, you know?" he said pulling a clean shirt out of his closet and over his head.

"what did she mean? when she said she doesnt want what happened last time to happen again?" i whispered, sitting up in his bed as he walked over towards me.

he handed me an old zeppelin shirt he grabbed from his closet.

he sat down on the edge of his bed, facing away from me.

i pulled my shirt up over my head. "you dont have to tell me if you dont want-" i whispered to him.

"no," he cut me off. "i want to tell you."

i pulled his shirt down over my head as i waited for him to tell me.

i could hear his mental fight as his breathing became labored, almost as if he couldnt bring himself to say it.

i scooted closer to him on the bed, wrapping my arms around him from behind, resting my chin on his shoulder.

"you dont have to," i whispered even quieter than before.