What About Now?

Chapter 2 - My Fault

I feel a sharp kick to my stomach, making my body jerk backwards. Jumping to my feet, I quickly place my hands in front of my face as I come to meet my mom's ice-cold glare. I rub my hand soothingly against my stomach in hopes to alleviate the pain as I send her a disbelieving stare. 

"Morning sunshine, it's time to go," she states sardonically.

It was anything but sunshine. The sun was long gone with clouds covering the once blue sky. Therefore, causing the world to appear black; just like the now forming bruise on my lower abdomen.

She throws me an apple that looks days old. I grimace in disgust as I spin it around in my hand. I mean seriously, who wants to eat an apple that has more bruises on its body than the person eating it?

"Come on, you can eat it on the way," she mutters walking deeper into the forest.

I hurry after her, trying to take bites from the apple and frown as I do so. But hey, when you haven't eaten a good meal in days you find that you do what's necessary to survive.

After consistently eating apples and scraps of what I could find, I lost a lot of weight. I was never fat to begin with and would say that I was in shape thanks to my training, but after barely eating while being on the run, I lost more weight than I would have liked. Yet, mom looks fine considering that she hunts in her wolf form; I mean she could hunt for me as well, but according to her that takes up too much time for the both of us.

I eat my apple in silence. Yet, it proves rather difficult when I feel my wolf growling in the back of my mind. I can't blame her though. I can feel her irate emotions as she continuously attempts to barge through my mind to communicate with me. Her patience must be wearing thin by now. I've blocked her out for weeks, or was it months now?

After all this time, she keeps trying to reach out to me. She is relentless; she doesn't give up. That fleeting thought has me sighing loudly as I take a deep breath and shove her once more into the back of my mind. It was enough that I had one person yelling at me for constantly being incompetent and I didn't need another.

As I threw away the apple, mom abruptly turned to face me.

"I think I have an idea of where dad might be, but it's through pack territory." I could hear the fear in her voice as I watched her pace around between two trees.

She kept reiterating a plan that she devised to get through an alpha's territory. Well, at least a plan that didn't involve getting killed for doing so.

It was difficult for rogues such as ourselves to pass through pack territory. An alpha can sense when a rogue is on their land, and very few will hear the rogue's reasoning for trespassing. Whereas other alphas, which make up the greater majority of them, just go for the kill. Easy and simple; with no explanation needed. Their understanding being that if one chooses to trespasses they henceforth choose to die.

"We don't have to," I reason in a hopeful tone. "If we take the long way in our human forms then we won't have to go through anybody's territory, and we'll be there in a week."

I couldn't help but notice her body visibly twitch. It was as if I had physically slapped her.

She turned around to face me, halting in her steps, "or we can shift and go the long way, making it there in three days' time."

I vigorously shake my head, pleading with my eyes for her to reconsider the plan.

My wolf was ecstatic at the idea of finally being let out, but I couldn't. I promised my dad that I would never shift, ever.

Mom let out an exasperate sigh. "Fine, I'll shift and you ride on my back. It'll take a while, but still faster than walking I suppose, and Kai?"

I expected her to yell at me for refusing to shift, for being useless to her in every way possible, but I'm shocked when there is a hint of concern displayed on her face instead. But that can't be, I really must be exhausted.

"Stay alert, I want you to begin to use your senses again and open your mind link to me."

I nod, feeling my whole body visibly relax.

Mom proceeded to shift. Her wolf was huge, easily towering over my human form. She has different shades of brown decorating her entire body; highlighting her light blue eyes.

"Get on," she orders.

I nod and do as she instructs. She doesn't waste any time and swiftly jolts into the awaiting forest.

I feel the cool wind envelop my body with every stride she takes. The rush is amazing; my wolf takes in every moment, trying to savor her long awaited freedom. Yet, despite her excitement she's extremely alert; using her senses to search for any pursuers.

Halfway through the journey I questioned mom, asking if she wanted to take a moment of respite. My wolf could feel her exhaustion seep into our link. I attempted to persuade her further on the matter, but she refused.

"As soon as we reach into a different area of the woods I'll stop. This area's too open."

I nod and continue using my senses to search for anything out of the ordinary. Albeit, it was getting particularly difficult considering my last meal was an apple. As werewolves, we tend to eat a lot due to our fast metabolisms, yet I've gotten used to eating only once a day.

Suddenly she stops in her tracks, breathing heavily as I climb off her back. I move to untie the clothing around her ankle and throw it toward her. She snatches it with her teeth and makes her way behind the tree line.

When she emerges fully dressed, I can't help but take notice of her hunched form. The strain from running all day without pause had taken an obvious toll on her; doing nothing but making me feel worse for being useless in her presence.

She rests her head against the floor sleepily muttering, "First watch is all yours," before closing her eyes.

I silently watch her sleep throughout the night. She has leaves stuck in her short hair, a peaceful expression on her face, which makes me smile softly at her serene form. Therefore, when it came time to wake her up for her shift, I couldn't find it in myself to do so.

I decide to take watch for the rest of the night. It wasn't like I did much of the physical work anyways. All I did was stay alert for pursuers. Mom was more important, she needs her sleep; I don't.

I hug my legs to my chest throughout the night, focusing my gaze towards the ominous forest.

The night sky shines brightly with the moon being my only source of light. You can't hear anything besides for the periodic hooting of an owl and the forest animals' quiet snores as they dream the night away.

It was peaceful nights like these that I found myself reminiscing to the nights my dad used to train me. He felt it was safer to train during nighttime in order to avoid the exposure of my wolf. He trained me extensively in combat, making me comfortable in using both my human and wolf form. He was the best fighter that I knew of and trained me perpetually. I suppose it was so I could fight just as well as he could.

It was different with my dad. Unlike mom, he wasn't difficult to get along with. Despite his intense training, he joked around, and even had me sing to him on several occasions as we fought. I never understood why he did that, but as I continue to think about it, I can't help but find a smile forming on my face.

But my smile dropped just as swiftly as it appeared. The day I received my powers was the day everything changed. I couldn't control it. It sought out to hurt people and if I didn't, then it threatened to force me.

My powers are the reason I stopped shifting and singing. It's the reason why my mom stopped loving me, why my dad's gone, and the main reason why my brother left us. I can feel the tears in the corner of my eyes gather as I relive the sad tale known as my life.

I shake off the usual feeling of sadness and lift my head to take notice of the sun's morning rays.

 Some lookout I was.