Say you won't let go

Chapter 31

Meredith could barely keep her eyes open, it was 8am and both twins had managed to get themselves on completely different schedules. While one would sleep, the other would want to be held and fed. It was an endless cycle that was definitely every 3 hours. She tried to get Derek to take turns but his nipples were no use to the babies, her milk had decided to come and and did it come. She had enough to feed hers plus the other babies in the nursery if she wanted though Elliot wasn't a fan and still had trouble latching. The LC had come and tried to help but he was very stubborn and wouldn't eat without a nipple guard which just added time to the process.

She looked down in her lap as Elliana was wide awake, looking around her surroundings. Derek slept on the uncomfortable couch bed. She was so tired she could probably lay down on that thing and fall right to sleep. She doesn't remember CJ or Scarlett being as alert as Elliana was, she was definitely very timid and go with the flow. She was curious at everything. Elliot was the typical newborn, he definitely let you know when he was tried, hungry and needed a change.

"Derek," Meredith said in a hushed tone. His eyes opened as he looked groggily at her. She felt bad for waking him but she needed to start packing things and needed his help. She was sore to no end.

"Hmm?" He sat up and looked at them.

"We need to pack," she said as she slowly got up and placed Elliana in her bassinet.

"Oh yeah," he nodded and got up, he grabbed both their suitcases and started putting things in. She helped in the best way she could, putting the pack of premie diapers the hospital had given them into one of the bags.

"So I was talking to Ma and she really wants to meet them," he said.

"I know. I just am not ready to fly with five kids yet. Christmas is right around the corner," she reminded him. Last year didn't kill her so she knew it wouldn't be too terrible but she still was nervous about Nancy and the other sister's.

"I just feel so bad. Like I want her to come out here and I don't think she is doing as well as she leads on. She has two of Nancy's kids living with her to help her out but Lizzie called me hysterical last night because mom isn't doing to well," he sounded worried in all honesty.

"Hey, she's going to recover just fine. Surgeons make the worst patients but the family of surgeons make the absolute worst patients," she laughed.

"I just wish there was some way, you know to make all this easier," he sighed. He lived in New York his whole life, it was just a short drive to visit his mother and it turned into a plane ride. She knew he was having trouble about his mom not being in the best shape but he always liked to hide his feelings from her.

"I would like to move to Boston but now we have kids and you are building us a house and Charlie's parents live here and I don't want to take CJ and Scarlett away from them," she sighed. She knew it was awful to think about but after Charles died, she was looking into Mass General in Boston before she met Derek. She could never bring herself to leave her family though.

"Maybe in a few years?" He suggested.

"I don't know, maybe but my life is here."

"We can make our own life there," he replied.

"It was just a quick thought that left as soon as I came when I thought about it. My family is here, my whole life is here. It would be so hard to leave."

"I know what you mean," he nodded. It was a split second decision he made when he got the offer here in Seattle. He already had land here but he never came out here. He dreamed of living in Seattle but he truly missed his family back home.