Vampire Kisses

81: Kokichi

 "Shuichi?" I called out as the room around me changed. Everything changed to a room that had dark walls and I turned around and saw the DICE members and Shuichi up sitting on my chair. I slowly walked over to him and noticed that my body had also been changed back to my own body...what is going on?

"Leader! You finally came back to us! Welcome back!" Jodian said before Anaki rushed over to my side and gave me a hug. I hugged her back hesitantly. This is nice...but it seems too good to be true. I wonder, is this maybe what Syn mentioned to me? Because I have been in the mindscape in my own body before, but she did warn me briefly about staying in here for too long. This must be what she was talking about.

That does make sense, seeing as yesterday when it was getting to a point where it was late the bedroom took the place of the room where me and Hess were at. So it must adapt to what the user wants...or maybe. Wait, this connection me and Syn have is through soul and heart, so maybe it's what the users heart desires.

"Leader?" She asked me backing away from me with a concerned look. "Sorry! I was just caught in my own thoughts Nishishi~," I said with a laugh. They all seemed to start smiling or laughing along with me before I looked over at Shuichi who was sitting up at the top where my chair was--I like calling it my throne, but I don't think that fits here.

"Ah my Koki," He said, getting off the throne to come to hug me. I just expected him to come down and hold me like he always does, but he ran over to me and picked me up. "Shuichi?" I asked with a small blush on my face because of how surprised I was by the action because Shuichi never does anything so bold~ but wait...this is my dream and I have always wanted him to be more confident in himself so maybe this version of Shuichi has more confidence because of that.

"Oh baby, I missed you," He said, putting me down in front of him until his arms moved around my waist. I smiled at him before my lips were met with his own. He gently kissed me and moved his hands around my back before they moved to the back of my head. Moving his fingers through my hair. It made me smile against his lips.

"I missed you too~ but this isn't real," I whispered under my breath before I closed my eyes. "I don't want my heart's deepest desire!" I shouted before they all faded out of my view. "Koki?" Shuichi asked before the warmth from his hands were no longer present around me, almost like it was a ghost that was holding me in that small moment. Almost like this whole thing was some sort of lie...

"Kokichi," I heard a voice call out. It was Syn! And she sounded like she was in a lot of pain...I need to get back into my own body...maybe then I can take the pain away from her...or even just take her place until she finds a solution to the problem.

"You need to talk to...Cathy," She whispered. Her voice was so quiet it was almost too quiet to hear. "But why? What do I need to talk to Cathy about?" I asked, feeling my shoulders tense.

"Y-You need to ask her about Kurai...you need to get her to," She said before she groaned and the connection was lost. "Syn! Syn!!" I called out feeling more confusion come onto my shoulders.

"Syn," I called out feeling helplessness come over me as tears came to my eyes. I can't do this...I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this...I don't even know what's going on...

I felt the painful feeling come back to my chest again making some tears fall down my face. I can't do this...not anymore! I just can't! I have caused Syn so much pain...she should be able to find a better suitor for this power...I shouldn't have this power. I shouldn't even have Shuichi...god.

"I can't do this anymore!" I cried out holding my fist over my eyes. "Please don't make me have to endure this any longer!" I called out but no answer came...

"Please I don't want to be alone..." I whimpered before I put my hands over my eyes as I sobbed. I felt all the pain that I was holding in fall down. My mask I tried so hard to maintain fell to the ground and shattered as I silently screamed into the room. It was dark and there wasn't anything in sight...I felt so alone. I hate being alone...I was always alone back then. And I always seem to be alone now...with Shuichi I felt wanted, I felt needed...but now it's all gone.

Everything I had is gone...it's always something that leaves me. That's why I always have this underlying unbelief of others...because they all lie. They say they are there for me, and then when their life gets in a pinch they forget about things even if I feel like shit and I'm sitting on my bed feeling like ending it all...they forget. I don't blame them though, I'm easy to forget because I always have my mask on, making them all believe that I'm fine.

"I'm fine," I said standing up with a blank expression on my face. All of my emotions disappeared in this moment..gone just like that. "I'm alright!" I smiled picking up the pieces of my mask and placing them back onto my tear stained face.

-Here is another part! Thank you all so much for reading!!-

-SK-