Vampire Kisses

55: Kokichi

I laid against Shuichi and felt at peace with being able to be here with him. The worry I was holding onto about the whole 'stealing our bond' ordeal seemed to dim in this moment. Making it easier for me to focus on my beloved Shuichi.

"Hmm?" Shuichi hummed, making me laugh a bit into his neck. He shuddered a bit at this and it made me laugh to myself.

I never thought reading would be able to be so calming to me. Being able to be here with Shuichi was calming and it was making me feel yet another emotion I could not put under just one word. It felt like safety, like love, like home. I smiled to myself. I miss being home.

Coming home after school to see my mom smiling in the kitchen with the small sandwiches that I loved to eat. She cut off the edges and made sure to press the edges with a fork to make it so the sandwich was closed off so the contents were in a little packet. They tasted like home. Home is where my mom was...but this feels like home as well--does this mean that I have already forgotten about my mother? I can't just forget, that was something very important to me...she was important to me. But Shuichi is as well...then why do I feel guilty?

My mother was always there for me, just as Shuichi has been there for me. I felt guilt creep over my shoulders making me frown. Is being this close to Shuichi selfish of me? I mean my mother was left by my father at a young age making her have to take care of me.

When I was younger I didn't know that just having a mom wasn't what made it a normal family. Even when I saw the other kids with their fathers and mothers, I still felt like my mom is all I needed. She was the best parent I could ever ask for...I tried to ask her about father a couple of times but she always told me that he wasn't my father because he isn't around anymore. And I was always content with that answer...that's also why I was so confused when the school told me my father had come to pick me up.

I have never even met the man so how the hell would he have been able to find me? If he went back to our old house he would have knocked at the door of the new people who lived there after my mother died. He wouldn't have been able to get a lot of information about me from the orphanage because of how I ran away before they could even admit me. And lastly, my mother didn't even use his last name or her own last name and we didn't ever have any family over that went by the last name Ouma...so I'm sure that my name was just the same as she made hers to be.

"Kokichi?" Shuichi asked gently, holding my face in his hands. I stared at him blankly for a moment before I processed where I was and what we were doing. I smiled a bit before I moved my head back into the crook of his neck.

"You seemed to zone out just now..." He commented, making me frown a bit. "I'm doing well Shumai~ no need to worry!" I said with a laugh before wrapping my arms back around him. He didn't seem like he believed in my words and it made me frown even more.

"I can feel your guilt you know," He said, making me sigh. "I guess I can't lie about those things to you," I said with a bitter tone in my voice.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" He asked. I could tell that he was feeling concerned, and it made me feel guilty for trying to hide this from him. I looked to the side before looking into his eyes after I pulled back from the embrace to look at him.

"I feel like in a way I'm betraying my mother because I feel like this place is home...and when I was with her I felt at home," I said slowly looking to the side. Oh god...I hate having to tell the truth, especially after keeping it from him and trying to lie about it...

"I see," He said gently, moving his hand to rub the side of my neck. I looked up at him feeling confused.

"I think that can be your choice, it's not that you are betraying her, you are just being able to find the things and feelings that remind you of her, making it so she can be here with you," He smiled at me and I felt some tears coming down my cheeks.

"Why all of a sudden," I said, moving my hand to wipe my cheek. I felt the dampness of the tears under my fingers making me feel a little embarrassed for crying...but I know better than anyone that Shuichi has definitely seen my cry worse than this.

"It's okay to feel sad about it," I felt my shoulders move as he hugged me close to him. I wiped some of my tears away before feeling a safe feeling come over me again. "Thank you," I said letting my head go to rest on his shoulder.

"Here, do you want to maybe make some dinner with me to get you in a better mood?" He asked me. I pulled back to look into his eyes and smiled. "That sounds fun Shushu!" I said planting a kiss on his cheek. He gave me a nod before slowly moving his arms around my waist. He did this before he moved to get up. The blanket fell to the floor when he stood up with me in his arms. I rested my head against his chest letting my eyes close for a moment.

I'm at home here with Shuichi...I'm home at last, with my family.

-Sorry for the later update..I had a panic attack earlier...so I had to take care of that first! I hope you enjoyed this part!-

-SK-