Vampire Kisses

108: Shuichi

"I don't want to abandon you..." I whispered into his shoulder as he leaned back against me. "I know you don't love...but sometimes hard things are going to have to happen like this." He whispered back making me just feel even worse about this. He was going to be apart from me for 5 months...even just saying it makes my body shiver. I can't do this to him...I don't want to leave him like that.

But regardless of what I want to do I am going to have to leave him like this. Leave him to live with Cathy and Anaki while I go to live somewhere with Kurai. I looked down in his eyes and saw that he was looking at me with a loving gaze. I didn't realize it but my stress was showing and some of the items in the room started glowing a bit because of my anger and fear.

I was letting it distract me from what really matters. Kokichi is what matters to me and at this moment we are together for tonight. Together before having to be apart from one another. The pain came into my chest again before Kokichi kissed my cheek. I noticed that he had turned around in my lap with his legs wrapped around my waist as his arms were around my torso holding me close to him.

I blushed and let my intrusive thoughts slip away. Sure I knew they would come back the next day...but here we are now. I need to be present in this moment even if I know it will end. I am going to be present in the moment. I let my arms wrap around him as I moved down, letting his legs fall on either side of me, before I let my body fall on the bed so he was now laying on top of me.

The moon slowly let us bathe in its light. Making this night seem even more real to the both of us. It was just the two of us as his body rested against my own. He rested his head on my chest as his arms rested around my neck and back. His hand trailed to the back of my head to run his fingers through my hair. I felt my body relax at this and I let my hands move to trace his spine before rubbing his back and shoulders.

He shuddered against me before his other hand moved to trace hearts on the back of my neck. Soft and slow the motion of his fingers on my skin. Dancing to the song playing in both of our hearts. The sadness and desperation would break through this moment as the sun rises. But now is not the time to focus on these things.

Kokichi is so special to me...but I forget sometimes about the future. When I become a detective by Kyoko's side and when Kokichi wants to keep his job with DICE--sure I am worried about them potentially clashing. A detective and a--I wouldn't say Kokichi is this--but a prankster. Because the cops could eventually catch them even if they are doing harmless pranks...but I worry about him.

The people that are a part of DICE are all good people so I wouldn't mind him being able to do things like that with them again. Because I know that he loves being able to go out of the house in the later hours of the day to have fun with his family. Sometimes family bonds--with the people you would chose to be in your family--are much stronger than friendships and crushes or even romantic relationships.

That feeling of belonging is something I wasn't able to have as a child so this jealousy of any other person close to Kokichi will fade. Because the trust I have with him won't go away. I trust that he loves me in the way he does and that he doesn't love another in the way he loves me. It's comforting when he is able to be here with me like this...but I know that in these moments when he has to go away I will feel alone and no one other than him can make that feeling go away.

Which isn't something I like admitting to anyone else, because god it makes me look so possessive of him...which isn't a lie or anything. But I don't want to make him feel like he has to always deal with my possessive actions towards him. I want him to feel like he can do other things than being with me all the time...because I know I can be super clingy.

"Shuichi, there is a lot on your mind huh?" He asked, moving his head up a bit without looking up at me. I flinched a bit at his words...because I'm certain because of these thoughts he must think my eyes aren't on him. I know that he hates being ignored...so I definitely have to work on that.

"Yeah sorry...I just feel so worried about you." I whispered before holding him closer to me. "I don't want to leave you behind." I moved my hands to his hair to gently stroke it. He sighed content at this before gently planting a kiss on my chest.

"I know you do, but we should stay here in the moment while we can," He said with a smile. I felt myself smile at his words. This isn't a permanent thing...but I know it's going to hurt when we have to start being apart from each other. But in the end...I know that this will keep him safer than I ever could. Maybe even after this we could both be able to go back to school again and have that normal experience.

I know even if we both don't like doing all the homework--that we both enjoy being able to go to school to see our friends as well as being able to be in the same place as one another. School is a nice place if you see it like that...but all the homework and tests make you wish for summer, but then in the summer you are plagued with work and other life tasks that school somewhat gave you more time for. But that all depends on the person as well as the time period you are talking about.

I smiled and cupped his cheek moving his head so I could look him in the eyes. I could see all the moments precious to us in his eyes. The first time we held hands, the first day we met up again, that time we ate lunch with Nagito and Hajime, which when I see them again I want to see if they finally got together, and then the countless times we have embraced one another.

I love Kokichi for these moments we have had, but even in the times when things are hard for the two of us I know that he will be there to help me through it. With all the things that come with being elemental vampires as well as being bonded to one another--it can cause quite a bit of trouble for the both of us...but we are still here and in this moment now.

"I love you." I let the words leave my mouth and almost at the same time Kokichi said the same thing. "I guess we were thinking the same thing, weren't we Shu~" He teased but this time I just smiled and let myself be happy. Letting the blush creep onto my cheeks while my heart became warm at his words. I felt in love with him, as I always do...but at this moment it reminded me that we would be able to face anything if we have each other. And in this moment that strength became more real.

"I guess we were," I said as his eyes slowly slid closed. I didn't blame him for wanting to sleep...these past few days have been very--intense. So I need to understand that we are together now. I felt my need for sleep become more apparent as he rested against me. "Goodnight Koki." I whispered moving so I could pull the blankets over us.

The warmth of each other as well as the blankets protecting this warmth made me feel even more tired. But knowing Kokichi would be here with me as I rested made me feel safer. So in this moment I will be able to just have this safe feeling he brings to me.

-Partings are very painful regardless of the relationship </3 I wish you all the best and know that people are here for you! And that my discord is always open!-

-SK-