Reunited [Legends of Tomorrow]

-17-

Sara didn't want to move. Every time she did that, her entire body would wince at the pain. Even breathing hurt. She knew she hurt Ava's feelings when she acted distant when she woke up. But everything she saw, heard and felt, she wished she could forget it. And she most certainly she didn't want to pass the burden on Ava. She hadn't cried anymore since she was safe. She knew she was going to be alright, physically. But mentally, she didn't think she could ever recover from this. She couldn't believe she saw Julia again. She had missed her so much and she never understood what had happened. Now she wanted answers, but she wasn't sure if she was ever going to get them. Suddenly, Sara felt cold. She didn't want to ask for help, but surely she didn't want to freeze either. That's why she asked for the person who wouldn't judge her.

A few moments later Nate walked in. Of course, worry struck his face. "Is everything okay? Do you need anything?"

"Could you grab me a blanket?" Sara whispered. Nate frowned for a moment, wondering why she hadn't asked Ava to do this. Then he just nodded and took the blanket from the cupboard.

He covered Sara with the blanket. "Thank you" she whispered. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure"

He held her hand for a moment to show his support. Sara appreciated it a lot. "Where's the rest of the team?"

"Uh, there was no threat, so they went home to their families. But it's only temporary, they didn't abandon you"

"I know. Why didn't you go home?"

"I haven't seen my mother since my father's funeral. When I look at her everything will come back"

"Maybe that's exactly the reason you should go" even though Sara didn't want Nate to leave too, she did want him to find peace with what happened to his dad last year. He nodded slowly. "Maybe you're right"

Sara closed her eyes for a second, trying to forget the pain she was in. "Hey, you still give a hell of a speeche" Nate commented. He wanted to see a glimpse of the old Sara.

It made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She knew she wasn't the same anymore.

"What was up with that girl? Wasn't her name Julia?" Nate continued.

"Is she dead?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. You knew her?"

"You could say that" Sara said as she held back tears. She had missed Julia so much. And now she was dead. "You should get some rest" Nate didn't want to be pushy.

"And?"

"She's damaged, Ava" Nate said as he took a seat. Ava had lost her appitite. "Maybe you should talk to her when she wakes up" he suggested.

The next day Ava walked to Sara. She took a chair and sat down next to her girlfriend. "How are you feeling?"

"Have been better" she snapped, slightly annoyed.

Ava, who didn't know what she had said wrong, tried to grab Sara's hand but she pulled away. "I know you've been through a lot. I just want to help you"

"You can't help me, Ava" Sara whispered. Her voice was broken. Tears dropped down Ava's cheeks as she stood up and walked away.

Sara sighed without sound. She knew she had hurt Ava badly but it was necessary. She couldn't let Ava in on all her pain. She didn't want Ava to suffer too. She didn't want Ava to know what she had been through, because she didn't want Ava to break. For now she needed a moment for herself. She thought about all the memories she made with Julia. She always had such a great time. Without her she would have always stayed that shy girl. And now Julia was dead. She wished Julia could have stayed in her life forever, but apparently she had been through a lot since she left and Sara couldn't blame her.

A few days passed. Nate had gone home. Ava had tried every day to connect with Sara, but she had shut her out like she did before. Sara was convinced that, even though Ava was hurting, it wasn't as bad as Sara.

Sara had had time to heal. Even though she wasn't fully healed, she was getting sick of the Medical Bay. There was a wheelchair close to her bed. Wincing in pain, she walked on trembling legs to the wheelchair. I'm not going to make it. I have to make it. I'm not going to make it, Sara thought as she held onto everything she could. After what for her felt like an eternity she plopped into the wheelchair. She grunted in pain. 

A moment later, after the pain had disappeared a bit, she started wheeling towards the Bridge. Surprisingly, Ava wasn't there. She wheeled closer to the window. She used to look out of this window all the time as captain. Her chair was here. Was she still the right fit for a captain? As she was worrying about everything and staring into the Temporal Zone, she heard footsteps approach her. "Sara! What are you doing here?" Ava squealed worried as she ran over to her. Sara turned around, facing Ava and Zari. "What are you doing here? I thought you went home?" she asked Zari. "Ava needed our help with-" Zari continued insecure as Ava glanced at her with a certain look, "with a mission?"

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing the Legends can't handle" Ava smiled. 

"I see you're doing better" Zari noticed after an awkward silence. "Yeah, I just needed a change of scenery"

Ava reached out her hand, but Sara looked away. "Good luck with your mission" she sighed as she wheeled away. 

"You see what I mean?" Ava sighed as Sara disappeared. "Maybe you need to give her some space" Zari suggested. "I've tried that, doesn't seem to work"

"Okay, then talk to her. And don't give her a chance to back away. Just drop the bomb" 

"Yeah, you're right. I'll talk to her after we find Grodd"

"No, no, you need to talk to her now. The team can handle Grodd. How hard can it be to catch a giant gorilla?" Zari said bluntly. She, of course, had never faced Grodd before. "Take the Jumpship and get Nate and Jax. He can be a pain in the ass" Ava said, then nodded as she walked towards Sara. 

With the team gone Ava felt like it was easier to talk to Sara. She was in the kitchen, eating something different from the food the Medical Bay served. Ava cleared her throat as she entered the room. Sara didn't look up until Ava sat down in front of her. "Hi" she said with a soft voice. "We need to talk, Sara"

Knowing this question was coming, she tried to wave it off. "There's nothing to talk about"

"Yes, there is, Sara. Why do you keep shutting me out? I'm your girlfriend! I want to be there for you, but you make it so hard!"

Sara avoided Ava's eyes. "Please, I beg you, talk to me" Sara heard how Ava's voice was breaking. She couldn't bare seeing her like this. "I don't want to let you in on everything I have endured. I don't want to give you those scars. I don't want to hurt you like they hurt me" Sara said slowly and quietly. Ava tilted her head as tears formed in her eyes. "Sara, we will get through this, together"

"I don't think I will, Ava" Sara said sharp as she looked into Ava's eyes all of the sudden. 

Sara had lost her appitite. "What did they do to you? Why did they hurt you?"

"Because of something I did in the past"

"Oh, my god, did you kill one of them?" Ava gasped. 

"What? No, I didn't kill one of them! Julia, that girl, she was my best friend when I was in highschool"

"Then why did they try to kill you?"

"I guess it's time for you to hear the entire story" Sara sighed as she got ready to tell her girlfriend the truth. 

We are nearing the end!! I'm excited to write the ending. I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

Stay safe!