Raise Your Heart

Chapter 7

Petra and Gio's company proved to be a good distraction away from Trinity's bittersweet farewell to Dante. At least to a point. When she went to bed, alone in the dark, she allowed herself the good cry she needed. She allowed herself to relegate her feelings for Dante and realize that, truly, life would be okay without him.

Besides, he seemed to be just fine with saying goodbye to her. Sure, he voiced the fact he didn't want to let her go. Sure, he kissed her on the lips no less. Still, he drove away. Left her with his famous parting words. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Well, he sure didn't carpe diem with her. If he really love her like he said, why wasn't he carpe dieming with her?

No! She needed to stop this. If a therapist had the ability to crawl into Trinity's thoughts, and hear everything she was seesawing over, she would probably be committed to an insane asylum. And, lately, she certainly felt insane. 

"What's wrong?" Petra interrupted.

"Huh?"

"You're a million miles away and we're about to go into the expo. You should be excited. So what's wrong? Is it Dante?" Petra expertly guessed.

Trinity shrugged.

"Oh my god. I swear to the lord if you were a character in a book, I wouldn't like you."

Trinity's face screwed up. "Why not?"

"Why not? You've been through so damn much. You're  super strong, but instead, you're acting like nothing but a weak tit."

"Weak tit?" Trinity's brow rose. She couldn't help but grin over Petra's stupid comment despite it being an insult. Petra certainly had a way with words, and no matter how insulting they were at times, she managed to sound funny.

"Yup. Weak tit, milquetoast, scaredy-cat," Petra pulled Trinity to a stop. "Listen. Dante loves you, you love him. Why not be together?"

"I...I can't, Pet. He...,"

Petra rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. We know what he did. No amount of excuses is ever going to be enough to stop your feelings for him. The only way to do that is to give it a go and see where it ends up. If it doesn't work, then so be it. It's the only way you're gonna be able to move on. It's simple really."

Petra was right. Despite it, her brain was throwing up caution tape over her emotions and blocking the way. Petra didn't understand. No one did. "Yeah," she replied instead.

"Yeah," Petra mocked mopey. "Can I ask you something?"

"Since when do you ask if you can ask me something?" Trinity chuckled.

"True. Would you like yourself if you were a character in a book?"

Trinity's steps faltered. She blinked. Would she? It was a good question. At first she would probably feel sorry for a character like herself, she supposed. She would root for the person. Hope they would grow and become strong. Unstoppable. And that's just what she had done. She had become strong. Built a life for herself.

So why did it feel like she was regressing? Fear. It was the only answer. The negative emotion was reeking havoc with her mind making her weak. If she were a character in a book, she would want to shout at the character to get up. To live rather than cower. Petra was right.

However, just because Petra was right didn't mean she needed to have a relationship with Dante because Petra wanted her to. It simply meant that she needed to stick to doing what she endeavored to do without letting anything get in her way. Especially her heart or her gut.

"I can only imagine what your brain is telling you to do right now," Petra waved Trinity on to catch up with her.

"Your imagination is going to get you in trouble one of these days, Pet," Trinity warned. "Besides, what about you? You haven't had a steady boyfriend for three years. Why do I need one?"