Unholy ✔️

XXXII. Hidden

***

Taehyung woke up from a now-familiar room. The peppermint smell being diffused relaxed his tired muscles and his emotional stress.

Nineteen years. More than that. Waking up with the man he loved felt like heaven. The beginning used to be uncertain but as years gone by, he felt like marrying his husband despite the situation was the right decision.

Making love with him felt so good. He never thought of loving someone else other than him. His feelings were the perfect example of the quote, "my world revolves around you".

But somewhere along the relationship, the time came when something felt wrong. He suddenly realized the things he was missing and would like to experience. He one time discussed it with his husband but it ended up with acceptance. Accepting his husband's imperfections. Which was the right thing to do. But he was expecting improvement too. But none happened.

He knew he was stupid to doubt his feelings or to blame his husband's shortcomings. Because he knew that he had his shortcomings too.

At first, he just wanted to try. He wanted to know what it felt like to be pampered. He didn't expect that he could fall for a man half his age. He didn't expect that someone that young could treat him better. Better to the extent that everything this young man was doing was everything he was looking for.

For the past nineteen years, he thought he couldn't ask for more. Or more of, he couldn't ask because there was nothing more. He needed to be contented with what his husband could give. But this man made him realized what he was missing in his life. To the point that he thought of the time he wasted loving his husband. At the time he was the only one who understands.

But no matter how right his feelings were for Jin, the situation wasn't right. Everything was a mistake. Or perhaps, it came at the wrong time. Or perhaps, it was the right time for him to realize a lot of things. And even though he didn't want Jin to get hurt, he knew it would end that way. He already hurt him.

He immediately closed his eyes when the bright sunlight permeated through the window. Then a bright smile followed as soon as his eyes adjusted.

"Good morning!" cheerful Jin greeted him. He was smiling brightly. Just like the morning sun.

Taehyung sat down on the bed and watched Jin placed a tray of food on the bed. Jin then gave him a shirt and helped him wear it. They had a rough long night. It was wrong but it felt unbelievably amazing.

"Sorry for waking up late," he apologized. He knew that a sorry wasn't enough to mend the heart that would probably break soon.

Jin sat across from him and gave him a glass of juice. "It's okay. You can wake up late if you want to. I woke up early to prepare breakfast. It's simple but I hope you'll like it."

Taehyung took a spoonful of scrambled eggs while Jin waited for his reaction. It tasted great. As always, Jin cooked delicious food for him. Jin knew how to make him happy. Jin knew how to take care of him. "It's delicious."

Jin smiled happily and gave Taehyung a quick kiss on the lips. Staring at his still sleepy eyes with so much fondness. "Thank you for coming."

Taehyung felt guilty. Guilty that he's committing adultery. No matter how unsatisfied he was with his relationship with his husband, marriage is marriage. And guilty because a man as precious as Jin simply didn't deserve someone weak as him.

"I'm sorry Jin," finally he said it.

"You're saying sorry again. I told you--"

"I'm sorry because you fell in love with the wrong person. And I'm sorry for taking advantage of it."

Jin's smile disappeared. He's trying to understand what those words meant. He didn't know why those words hurt. They were so painful to hear. "W-what do you mean by that?"

"Jin--"

"No! I will not accept you leaving me. No! I told you from the start, I know my place. I know you will choose your family over me but please, stay. Don't leave me," Jin's voice started to break as he said each word. His heart beating faster he felt as if someone's squeezing it and it was so difficult to breathe.

Taehyung stared at Jin's glistening eyes. He saw how Jin's lips quiver as he spoke, how he fidget with his hands, and how he uttered each word with pain. His heart ached too. It was then he realized how weak he was. He thought he could leave Jin but it was hurting him.

Taehyung placed Jin's hand inside his own. He took a lungful of air and swallowed the lump forming in his throat. But still, the first words that came from his mouth broke. "Jin, let's fix our lives. Let's try to fix it. It's hard for me to let you go but everything isn't right. You deserved to be loved by a--"

"By an unmarried man? Do you think I'll be happy with someone I don't like? Unmarried. Yeah! But they all just want my body. My beauty. How can you say that? After all, I did for"

"Jin, listen to me,"

"No! No! You listen to me!" Jin screamed as he walked restlessly around his bedroom. "Taehyung, please? Don't leave me. I promise I'll be better. I know you love him. I know that. More than me. If you need time to be with him, I'll give way. I won't interfere. I know I'm only second. But please, keep me. Just keep me. I won't bother you after office hours. I won't ask for anything more. Just keep me. Taehyung... Please..."

Jin broke down in tears as he kneeled on the floor. His face in his hands as he cried his heart out for a man he thought he would never love. It was all about revenge. Revenge for the man he treated as his only family. He didn't expect that he would really fall in love.  And now, it felt like everything backfired. Getting hurt that much was the last thing in his mind. Or he never thought about it at all.

Taehyung stood up and kneeled on the floor in front of Jin. Removing Jin's hands and cupping Jin's face with his own. It pained him looking straight into the eyes of the man who showed him how to be taken care of and perhaps, how to be loved.

"Jin, it sucks to admit that I like you. It's not about sex. It's not about that. It's a shame that someone my age will fall for a man your age. And it sucks to admit the fact that you know how to take care of me and how to love me the way I imagined to be loved. But--"

"No! No buts. I don't like to hear your buts. Just keep me. Please, please Taehyung, keep me..." Jin wailed as he buried his face on Taehyung's chest. His hands tightly clenched around Taehyung's waist. Not wanting the man he loves to leave.

Taehyung closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Jin's body. Pulling him closer, kissing his forehead, his tears fell too.

There were things he regretted the most but this time, he regretted why he even started it. Why he was blinded by the things Jin could offer and he started looking for things Jimin was lacking. And now, he couldn't let go of the man he's cheating with.

He thought he wouldn't be a sinner. Now it turned out that he was wrong.

***

"You look tired. How's your overtime?" Jimin asked while helping his husband removed his coat and hanging them up on the standing rack inside their walk-in closet.

Taehyung did not budge to look at Jimin. He was indeed tired but not from work. But from his all-night sex with his other man and the alcohol he had with Jungkook.

"Yes, I'm so tired. I'll just take a shower," Taehyung grabbed the towel and went inside the bathroom.

Jimin knocked on the door, "Sweetheart, do you want me to cook a soup for you?"

After hearing yes from behind the door, Jimin then stared at the coat hanging on the rack. His intuition was telling him something was odd.

Leaning his nose closer to the coat, he could smell a different smell of perfume. He knew he smelled it somewhere but he could not remember where or to whom.

Closing his eyes and brushing away the negative thoughts, he took a deep breath, as he headed out of the bedroom to prepare soup for Taehyung.