𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟟~ 𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝 ℍ𝕖𝕣𝕖

The final part!!!

PART 5

[Katsuki's POV]

I'm back.

Back to the same black void, empty like the gap that was still in me.

I was dead.

But the most peculiar thing is... I had lost most of my memories.

Well, it was all a blur when I really tried to think about it.

All I did know what the hole in me and the heavy hate I had for myself.

That I deserved to be dead.

What's my name?
I'm Katsuki Bakugo.

How old am I?
I'm 16 years old.

Who are the people that I remember?
My mum - she is Mitsuki Bakugo.
My dad - he is Masaru Bakugo.
My childhood friend - he is...

Izuku.

One name that broke the dam.

Memories and emotion and pain all rush in at the same time and it was too much for me to take in.

Izuku. The boy who I had bullied. Izuku. The boy who had killed himself because of me. Izuku. The boy who became a villain because of me. I had no right to be alive! The cruel thing was that I loved him! I loved him and I abused him! Nothing can ever change that!

I hated myself because of that! I want to remain dead and forget everything! I saw myself as a disgusting, heartless monster and nothing more! I was hardly human! I wasn't good enough and I was no better than how I thought Izuku was like! If anything, I was the wannabee! I was the loser! I was the dumbass useless person who's made the largest mistake of being born!

Then the pain. The tearing, burning and endless pain that screamed in my ears. Blinding me. The ground I was standing on was crumbling into dust, and I wished for nothing more than it to stop.

Flashbacks play like a movie, once of the shit I put Izuku through, others of his murderous glare when he was a villain, then of his crying self, broken and lost. Him on the roof, with a smile that made him seem so ready to die. Ready to give it all up! I was breaking, snapping, disintegrating. 

Why am I still fucking suffering?!

I've had enough! I've had too much! I get that I'm a monster please make it stop!

I'm desperate! I want a hand to hold but all I get is the hanging darkness, taunting me! I want to scream and get rid of this pain, because I've already died! Four fucking times! IS IT NOT ENOUGH?! IS IT NOT WHAT I DESERVE?! DID I DESERVE MUCH WORSE BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH OF A FAILURE I'VE BEEN?! WILL MY TORTURE BE INFINITE?!

Save me, Katsuki...

It wasn't over.

What do you want me to fucking do?! How the fuck do I save you?!

Why is it that no matter how many time I go back, I can never seem to save you?!

I've lost everything and I feel like a failure! I regret what I did! I don't hate Izuku I love him! What more can you do to this piece of trash?! What more can you d-do to me?! I've seen enough I've felt enough I'm desperate for a break why can't I fucking get one?!

It's a cursed stereo playing over and over in my head, never making me forget. I never will. It was engraved into my skin with a knife, a scar that will never fade.