𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟚~ 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘

Hey guys! How was the last chapter? Good? Fantastic! I'll be dying now! Goodbye!

PART 4

[Katsuki's POV]

The pain was still there, but when I finally manage to open my eyes and push through all the haziness, one glance at the dark void and all of it... disappeared.

It was a relief, definitely. But just by looking at this emptiness again, it only made the horrendous pit in me get larger. It was a lot more daunting compared to the other times I felt it in this dreaded place, and I felt myself go giddy with hurt.

Not physical hurt.

Mental hurt.

For it to just go away and leave me alone.

I didn't care how weak and vulnerable I was! I just wanted it to go! The familiar lump in my throat made me want to cry, but I couldn't move. Again!

Izuku was alive! So why the fuck am I still stuck in this shitty loop?! I've suffered enough! I've seen Izuku die in front of my eyes, and I've seen him become a villain and I've had him tell me about all of the hate and anger he felt for me and make me feel like I was the most cruel man in the world! And at this point, I really think that I am!

I am a dick.

An idiot.

A bitch.

An asshole.

If anything, it was me that should be the one to "take a swan dive off the roof".

So why the fuck am I still alive?! There is no fucking way, after all the shit I've done, that I should be alive! Or that I should be a hero! Because it took three... f-fucking lives for me to be a normal human and feel guilty for all the shit I had caused! All I ever cared about is myself!

My mind was being torn apart, and I couldn't think anymore, desperately trying to ignore or fill or fix the empty space that only seemed to be get bigger. Izuku was my friend! We had everything we needed, including each other! His dreams were always to become the number 1 hero, and he made me believe that I could do that too! I was the dickhead to steal it away from him instead!

End me. I don't deserve to live.

But I knew that wasn't possible, because the bitch that put me in this fucking loop wasn't letting me out! And I can tell because of the blinding light seeping through the crack above was illuminating the dark space around me.

It only clicked when I saw that light though. My goal was quite obvious all this time! I was the one who told Izuku he couldn't be a hero and continuously broke his dreams! So the reason for all these rebirths was to make him a hero instead! Just do that, Katsuki, and you'll be fine! Make sure he stays alive and can enter the exam for UA and then leave his life forever!

Because, if anything, all I've ever done to Izuku was break him and hurt him. I am more of a danger to him than anyone else, and as long as he doesn't acknowledge or interact with me, he will live the life he had always deserved: a life without me.

Save me, Katsuki...

This time I am going to do the right thing.

This time I am sure to give Izuku a proper life.

This time I am going to see the amazing hero he would become.

And that is a promise I will complete.

As soon as I find myself back in my own body, kicking Izuku's battered locker, I look out of the window and see the disgusting reflection of myself stare loathingly back. There was no blood on my skin. No cuts either. Just a murderer. A bully. An asshole. A guy who deserved nothing.