𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟝~ 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕄𝕦𝕔𝕙

Clue's in the title, get ready for too much... stuff...

[Katsuki's POV]

Too much.

Two powerful words that described almost everything. The pain in my chest, and the love I felt, and the emotions boring down on me. All too much. I wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't go, no matter what position I was in.

I mostly brushed it off as nothing to my classmates, giving them a fake smile, one very much like his old smile, and continue to clutch onto my stomach, hunched over the desk and squeezing my eyes shut. Wanting for this suffering to end.

Izuku was fine, not even giving a glance at me. He no longer cared. Not including the love I felt for him, this emotional and physical pain I felt could possibly match the physical pain I felt in my last life. Seeing Izuku laughing and falling in love with Uraraka was much worse to seeing him as a villain, knowing that he no longer needed me. I always knew that, but actually seeing it...

It hurts.

I... I want help. Someone who has ears and eyes that can see me... I can't ask for help... I'm scared.

I'm scared.

I was always scared.

I'm scared for my life and... I-I don't want to die anymore! 

It's been almost a year with this dreaded disease, and all I could do was blame myself. I've had enough. More than enough! Too much! I want it to stop!

Why won't it stop?!

Did I deserve it this much?!

I'm sitting at my dorm room desk, the pencil in my hand close to snapping, aimlessly staring at my question-filled paper. I couldn't concentrate. My mind won't focus. I've lost control.

I've lost control!

The world is spinning around me and I can't stand anymore, my body crashing through the ground.

I want everything to stop more than ever. I want it to stop! MAKE IT STOP!

I helplessly smash the pencil into the window I was sitting by, shaking uncontrollably, Izuku's face beaming everywhere I looked.

I was going mad.

His face was so innocent, and I fucked it up, making it into such a heart-breaking and pained expression. It taunted me. I hear his sweet voice, one that I couldn't help but have my chest collapse on to.

That fucking face and the bastard it belonged to... I'm suffering because of them!

I regret everything! I regret being born! I regret not killing myself on that rooftop days ago! I regret being such an idiot! I regret bullying him! I regret too much!

Too much for my mind to keep up on!

I fall off the chair, fat tears streaming from my bloodshot and sore eyes, head buzzing and aching from the blizzard of emotions, making me go crazy. I couldn't tell what was right or left, everything distorted and flipping around. I didn't fucking know why I was here in UA.

It felt like a panic attack, and I couldn't breathe, scurrying for my back to lean against the bed behind me and crouching forward into my knees, hugging the pillow next to me and crying into it, letting go to scream into it, my hands rushing to my knotted hair and tugging on it, crying and screaming until my throat went hoarse. I was producing an abnormal amount of sweat, and I manage to rip some of the hair from my head, the ends dipped into fresh crimson. The pain there also added force onto the boulder I had spent lives running from.