𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛~ 𝕊𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕖𝕥 ℂ𝕣𝕚𝕞𝕤𝕠𝕟

Y'all, I've been looking forward to writing this all day!

Also, early update for apologies to last time...

[Katsuki's POV]

Fuck that shitty nerd! Finally, he understood how useless he was! So easily as well! I guess I don't have to remind him anymore!

I turn to the two extras snickering behind me, presenting them both with a supercilious scowl, walking away from the deserted class. Though I had been saying so much shit about Deku, I can't help but think about how easily he had accepted it. I knew he was getting weaker and weaker in his defencing, but I didn't know he actually listened to or cared about my words.

To be completely honest, at the very bottom of my heart, I still cared for shitty Deku. He was one of the closest people towards me, but at the same time, even though I keep knocking him down and beat him up, he keeps following me. It's almost as if he cares for me! Or like he's looking down on me. Every action always has an ulterior motive. Those two damn extras just want to look cool and stick to me like leaches to get popular. Never because they actually "want" to be my friend... which they aren't. I knew that there is no way in hell that Deku wanted to be my friend. So I bully him to keep distance between us. And he just continues to hold on.

But ever since he started minding his own business, I can't help but largen that gap. Of course, that damn nerd still cares about me- I can see that disgusting look of warmth in his dull, broken eyes. And I just want him to be alone and stop looking down on me. It isn't care in his eyes. It's the want to surpass me. And a damn small fry like him can't. Which sickens me the most.

I know those extras enjoy me beating up Deku, and I guess I do it out of unnecessary anger, amusement for them and as a habit. But, now actually thinking about it, I have no reason to beat him up. He's just a quiet nerd at the back of class, doing his own thing. But, I have so much powering my engine, I have nothing to put the breaks on it. So I keep hurting him.

But why the hell should I care! I am way above him! And he's a shitty nerd!

I slump my hands in my pockets and make my way to the lockers upstairs, listening to the tapping of my feet slapping against the metal. It was a little chilly there, small sounds of rainwater dripping in the distance. It was probably raining, and it seemed I had forgotten my raincoat. Great! Even fucking better!

It was just me on this floor. I felt like it always had been. Just me. I ride solo. And I always will do. I grunt when I lay eyes on the nerd's locker, still dented and bruised.

Almost like what you did to him!

There's the voice in my head that's been fucking with me. That one voice that tells you that you're guilty. I've learned to ignore it, using anger as an outlet instead of the want to right my wrongs. It's the better option. So I outlet my anger by kicking the nerd's locker one more time.

I turn around towards the giant window, looking at the rain before flickering my gaze momentarily onto the display of my watch. Just turned 4.27. I keep staring out of the window, feeling slightly uplifted by the rain pouring. It was somewhat calming, cooling down the raging fires in my heart. I allow myself to smile slightly.

That smile disappeared minutes later when I saw a slight blur obstruct my view, zooming past the window. It for sure wasn't a raindrop, it was about the size of a person. Heck, it was a person! From this shitty school too! Black uniform, falling to their death. But one thing caught my eye the most.

Green. Green and black. Mixed together.

And that green was what made me move, sprinting as fast as I could down the stairs, gritting my teeth and panting slightly. I refused to believe what I saw. It can't be him! It just can't! I didn't... he can't... No!

I burst through the door, out of breath, lungs burning, but I didn't care, trying to use what's left of my fuel to drag me towards the site, just behind the lawn. Perspiration was already painted on my face, a sudden stitch ripping through my hip. But finally, after a harsh attempt, I made it to the site.

And froze.

I-It was him. Deku. Dead. All I saw was dark red. Liquid the colour of blood. Seeping at a dangerous pace from his head. It splatters all over the gravel beneath him. Soaking into his wet and matted hair. His eyes were open, but his neck was twisted at an awkward angle. His skin was so pale. His chubbiness was all gone. Exposing his cheekbones. Rainwater was trickling down his face. He was dead. He did it. And I was such and idiot not to realise.

I didn't notice my knees drop to the floor. I was too numb. I... I didn't mean for it to go this far! I just wanted to... I had no excuse... I killed him. Nothing could justify that. The unconscious voice in my head was screaming, and I couldn't get it out, memories of pain and anguish from Izuku flashing through my mind.

Kacchan! Wait for me!

Kacchan! That was too close!

Kacchan, please be careful!

B-but there's nothing wrong in trying, Kacchan!

I know, Kacchan!

Those were his last fucking words to me. The last time I'd ever hear that name. The last time I'd ever see such close warmth in all my life. The one good person who had looked up to me. He can't have looked down on me. He's dead. He killed himself. I'm an idiot. I'm such a damn, fucking idiot. I have no audacity to be forgiven.

Win to save?

Yeah right!

Here's a dead person I've helped kill right in front of me.

What's the point in me being a hero if I can't fucking save him!? Deku!

His last words to me were I know, Kacchan. He admitted this for some time, and he stayed alive. For my fucking torture. There were scars up his sleeves, shredding it's natural-born softness. And marking his pain. How much those words meant to him. He didn't make those scars. It was me. Always me!

Why?

Why?

Why the fuck didn't I stop? Why the fuck did I have the fucking right to keep rubbing salt into his wounds, tear him apart even more? Why the fuck was it my fault he is fucking dead? Why?! Because I'm a dick?! Because I'm the largest fucking mistake on this fucking planet?! I'm all that and so much more!

But all I actually did was stay there, on my knees. I didn't take another step towards him. I wasn't even that angry with myself. That was all my conscience talking. What I actually felt was anger. Not at myself, but at Deku himself. Which is what I found most shameful.

I fucking killed him. Me. Bakugo Katsuki. So why the fuck am I blaming him?! Because it's his fault I was bullying him?! But he even stopped talking to me! I just picked on him for my own fun!

The screams, shouts and memories rushing through my head were so overwhelming, but somehow, I felt numb. I didn't yell in pain. I didn't make any movement to Izuku. I was too trapped in these alien emotions to do so. The one thing that I couldn't take off my mind was the red on the floor.

My body suddenly moves on its own, kneeling right next to the puddle. By now, people around me had noticed, calling ambulances, screaming and crowding around the dead corpse in front of them, sobbing from the horrific sight. But I take no notice, dipping my hands into the thick liquid, allowing them to sit in its abnormal warmth for a while. I didn't dare touch his ice skin, its side dipped in the puddle he'd created.

I take my hands out, watching the paint drip from my hands, leaping back into the pool it had all come from. His blood was on my hands, and this sight will forever stain my eyes and skin, reminding me what I did. The stench of it was pungent in the air, continuing to make my stomach churn. Dark-red blood. Scarlet crimson.

Be potates!

                     ~Spud🥔