𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟜~ ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕍𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕞

[Katsuki's POV]

My feet drag themselves back to my house, though my mind was still there. Where it happened. Where he did it. I want to say that it's my fault, and that I should be suffering in pain. It was a horrible thing that I did, and I should have the want to take it all back, to live with the guilt of being responsible for a human being's death. My old childhood friend, to make things worse.

But, to my disgust yet utmost pleasure, I felt not an ounce of remorse or regret. No pain. Just a strange, sickening feeling that only came when I thought of the crime scene. One look at something red and I can already smell the putrid stench of blood. As well as the vision fountain of liquid leaking quickly from Deku's cracked head. I shudder.

Even though I feel no pain, I do have this eerie numbing feeling, and everything around me looked so still and silent. Maybe because I was still back at the crash sight. But, maybe deep down, I really did feel regret.

But I didn't want to! That would just make me a fucking weak ass! Just like that stupid nerd! No wonder why he went ahead and killed himself! Because he was so weak! This was in no way my fault, it was all his! Especially when he left me! I can't let some stupid death make me all soft! I didn't want him tagging along behind me anyway! Besides, this is what I'd always wanted!

Or did you...

I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't realised I was at my house door, subconsciously reaching into my pocket to pull out my house keys. I had scrubbed my hands so much, after I found the strength to go to the bathroom, so that not a speck of crimson was on my hands, but it still felt like they were coated in their abnormal and tacky warmth. I felt like I smelt of his blood, "Murderer" etched in bright red across my forehead. What I did would never leave me. Yet... Why did I not feel guilty?

I knew my face was twisted in an odd expression as I flung open the door, the old hag frowning at the door, as if she was waiting for me. She huffs out, clearly ready to shout, even though the door was open. It's ok though. The neighbours were used to it. I duck my head down, gritting my teeth.

"Are you dumb, brat?! I've waited for you to come home all this time! And here you are waltzing in as if nothing had happened!" Oh, so much had happened. "You're bloody 45 minutes late, and not even one damn text telling me where you were! Can you actually look at me when I speak to you?!" 

I firmly shut the door and glare at her, almost in a manner of saying that I was in no mood to talk or deal with any of her bullshit. A flash of concern flashes through her eyes, but she seemed like she was about to bite back at me. I wanted to barge past to avoid her annoying nagging, but the ringing of a phone thankfully saves me.

She gives me a deadly glare, almost demanding me to stay put, before wading over to the telephone, picking it up swiftly, facing the wall. "Hello?... Yes, this is Katsuki's mum... No, please, Mitsuki's fine..... Wait, a child in his year?!"

I already knew what was happening on that call now. No. No one should've caught me! I had to get out! Or my mum would know! She may be annoying, but she isn't stupid.

"H-have all the parents been told?!... Oh... Can I know the name?...... I-Izuku... are you sure?" I took this opportunity to thunder up the stairs and into my bedroom, not bothering to keep my door quiet when I slam it. 

My heart was already racing, and I felt like this is where my life starts to fall apart. Where I'm seen as the villain and I can never become a hero. I felt like I was just seconds away from losing everything. I look into the mirror in front of me, and a pair of almost terrified eyes stare back, forehead shining a little with sweat. I had to find a way to calm down, because at this rate, my cover is blown.