'Til I Found You (COMPLETED)

48

He woke up next to an empty side of their bed. Apparently, Lea isn't around and probably slept next to Eli. It broke him inside as he recalls their fight. He stares blankly at the ceiling with an abyss of thoughts. Being a father to their kids taught him independence. This new responsibility is foreign to him but he learned so much from it. Life is tough yet fulfilling just seeing a smile plasters on his dearest woman, Lea. She always brings joy to live on his life. And, regret flourished upon him as he calls to mind his outburst. He is tired but them is his rest. They are his sole reason to fight whatever life may throw at him. But he f-cked up. She's been through a lot in life and reared Eli all by herself. It's a nonpareil of hardship. Having said that, Aga felt small of himself. He caused tears to drift down her lonesome eyes. Without letting time to go waste, he got up. He won't allow his family to break apart again.

But as he takes each step down the stairs, Lea is audible enough to be heard by him.

"Pasensiya ka na, Em. I just don't have anyone else to run to. Ayoko din namang itransfer si Eli sa ibang school. She may lost her interest to study. Atsaka, one month na lang I'll be giving birth to my little ones na. I can take rest for a month before going back to work. Jayson offered me an extra job as well. Buti nga it's a work-from-home position eh. I can watch my kids while working at night. Alam mo naman lumalaki na yung gastusin ko. I can't afford to raise them with my current job. Hindi sasapat yung sahod ko", she explains.

"Sigurado ka ba diyan, Lei? I'm worried lang. Baka mabinat ka. Pag usapan niyo muna kaya to? Lea, magtatatlo na yung responsibility mo. Iba naman yung noon na si Eli pa lang ang meron ka. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. Mag usap muna kayo, Lei. Responsibilidad din naman niya yung mga bata", Emma responsed.

"I'll be fine. Para namang hindi ako sanay magtrabaho. Kaya ko naman eh. Kinaya ko nga mag isa si Eli, ngayon pa ba that I'll be having another little ones. And ... ", she was interrupted when someone from behind grabbed the phone.

It's him - her weakness. With his eyes darted at her, he slammed the phone down.

"Can we talk?", he begun.

"Wag ka ngang bastos! I was talking to someone", she attempts to pass by him but Aga quickly blocked the way.

"We can't fix this if you don't hear me out. Babe, it's not what you're thinking. Yes, I admit. I feel so tired but that doesn't mean I regret choosing you and our kids. Napapagod ako 'coz no matter what I do, hindi ko parin maibigay lahat ng kailangan niyo. Lea, hindi madali para sakin to. Okay lang kung ako ang mahirapan eh, wag lang kayo. I'm sorry for venting out but, babe, believe me. I don't regret choosing you. Mahal kita ng sobra. Hindi naman tayo aabot sa ganito kung hindi ako sigurado sayo eh", he hopes to patch up the broken line in between but Lea seems so done of him.

"Is your conscience acting up again? Pwede ba, Ags? Just admit it. Napapagod ka sa ganitong klaseng buhay because you're not used to this. Don't make the kids as your excuse para lang malinis yang konsensiya mo! Hindi ko naman ipinagdadamot ang mga bata eh. You're free to leave. I won't ask for your help in raising them. It's up to you kung gugustuhin mo pang magpakaama sa kanila", she's about to leave but Aga gently pulls her arm.

"Diyan ka naman magaling eh. Ang ipamukha sakin that you're better than me in raising them. That you're a better parent than me. Lea, ang hirap sayo masyado mong ipinamumukha sakin na kaya mo sila even without me! I feel worthless eh! Para san ba tong ginagawa ko, Lei?! Balewala ba sayo lahat ng pagsisikap ko?!"

She pulls back, "Ask yourself, Ags. I'm so done with all this drama. Umuwi ka kung pagod ka na. Manatili ka kung kaya mo pa. It's all up to you"

He was left there watching as she goes away. Lea seems numb with all his words. With all his efforts to fix things up, days gone by in a wide gap rolling between them. Lea has been distant from him. If it wasn't of Eli, she won't talk to him. She acts natural in front of their child. With her sweet smile and gesture, Lea gets the hang of it as time goes by.

"Mommy, can I sleep next to you and dad tonight?", Eli asked.

"Yes, baby. Anytime", she replied.

Eli reclines next to Lea while Aga is behind her sniffing while his arm slithers around her waist. As much as she wants to avoid his touch, Eli might discern the coldness flourishing upon them. With a moment of silence, he hugs her tightly. "I miss you"

Lea remains mum from it as she hugs the sleeping Eli from behind.

"Babe", he added. "Kausapin mo na ako. I'll be gone for a couple of days. The court decision will be released within this week. Kailangan ko umuwi saglit. Hindi pa nga ako nakakaalis, ang layo mo na sakin"

She shut her eyes in response and Aga begun to plant small kisses on her neck.

"Itigil mo nga yang kalandian mo", she whispers upon moving a bit from him.

But his arm seems a prison of her lonesome self, "I miss you"

She kept mum but he doesn't give up so easily. His lips land against hers as he cups her cheeks. She keeps pushing him but Eli is next to her. With defenseless self, she melts down his arms. It's always him - her weakness and strength. She allows his touch to explore her longing body. After all the pain and heartaches, she knows that a life without him is bluer than blue.