'Til I Found You (COMPLETED)

48

He wakes to an empty bed, the coldness of the sheets a stark reminder of the space between them. Lea is likely with Eli, a realization that breaks him as the echoes of their fight resurface. He stares blankly at the ceiling, lost in an abyss of thought.

Being a father has taught him a level of independence he never knew he possessed. While the responsibility is heavy, it is fulfilling; seeing a smile on Lea’s face has always been his greatest reward. Regret now flourishes within him as he recalls his outburst. He is tired, yes, but *they* are his rest. They are his sole reason to fight. He knows he has f-cked up. Lea has endured so much, rearing Eli alone through hardships he can barely fathom, and yet he is the one who caused fresh tears to drift down her eyes. He refuses to let more time go to waste. He won't allow his family to break apart again.

As he descends the stairs, Lea’s voice is audible, thick with the weight of her plans.

"Pasensiya ka na, Em. I just don't have anyone else to run to. Ayoko din namang itransfer si Eli sa ibang school. She may lose her interest to study. Atsaka, one month na lang I'll be giving birth to my little ones na. I can take rest for a month before going back to work. Jayson offered me an extra job as well. Buti nga it's a work-from-home position eh. I can watch my kids while working at night. Alam mo naman lumalaki na yung gastusin ko. I can't afford to raise them with my current job. Hindi sasapat yung sahod ko," she explains, her voice trembling but determined.

"Sigurado ka ba diyan, Lei? I'm worried lang. Baka mabinat ka. Pag usapan niyo muna kaya to? Lea, magtatatlo na yung responsibility mo. Iba naman yung noon na si Eli pa lang ang meron ka. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. Mag usap muna kayo, Lei. Responsibilidad din naman niya yung mga bata," Emma responds.

"I'll be fine. Para namang hindi ako sanay magtrabaho. Kaya ko naman eh. Kinaya ko nga mag isa si Eli, ngayon pa ba that I'll be having another little ones. And..."

She is interrupted as Aga reaches out and grabs the phone from her hand. Her eyes dart to his, wide with shock, as he slams the device down on the counter.

"Can we talk?" he begins, his voice low and desperate.

"Wag ka ngang bastos! I was talking to someone," she snaps, attempting to brush past him, but Aga quickly blocks her path.

"We can't fix this if you don't hear me out. Babe, it's not what you're thinking. Yes, I admit—I feel so tired. But that doesn't mean I regret choosing you and our kids. Napapagod ako 'coz no matter what I do, hindi ko parin maibigay lahat ng kailangan niyo. Lea, hindi madali para sakin to. Okay lang kung ako ang mahirapan eh, wag lang kayo. I'm sorry for venting out but, babe, believe me. I don't regret choosing you. Mahal kita ng sobra. Hindi naman tayo aabot sa ganito kung hindi ako sigurado sayo eh."

He hopes to patch the broken line between them, but Lea looks exhausted by his words.

"Is your conscience acting up again? Pwede ba, Ags? Just admit it. Napapagod ka sa ganitong klaseng buhay because you're not used to this. Don't make the kids as your excuse para lang malinis yang konsensiya mo! Hindi ko naman ipinagdadamot ang mga bata eh. You're free to leave. I won't ask for your help in raising them. It's up to you kung gugustuhin mo pang magpakaama sa kanila."

She turns to leave, but Aga gently catches her arm.

"Diyan ka naman magaling eh. Ang ipamukha sakin that you're better than me in raising them. That you're a better parent than me. Lea, ang hirap kase kase masyado mong ipinamumukha sakin na kaya mo sila even without me! I feel worthless! Para san ba tong ginagawa ko, Lei?! Balewala ba sayo lahat ng pagsisikap ko?!"

She pulls back sharply. "Ask yourself, Ags. I'm so done with all this drama. Umuwi ka kung pagod ka na. Manatili ka kung kaya mo pa. It's all up to you."

He is left standing there, watching her retreat. In the days that follow, a wide gap rolls between them. Lea remains distant, speaking to him only when Eli is present to maintain a facade of normalcy. She wears a sweet smile for their child, but the moment they are alone, the coldness returns.

"Mommy, can I sleep next to you and dad tonight?" Eli asks one evening.

"Yes, baby. Anytime," Lea replies, her voice softening only for her daughter.

As they settle in, Eli reclines between them. Aga lies behind Lea, the scent of her hair filling his senses. His arm slithers around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Though she wants to pull away, she remains still so Eli won't discern the tension. He hugs her tightly, whispering into her hair, "I miss you."

Lea remains mute, focusing her attention on the sleeping child in her arms.

"Babe," he adds, his voice thick with emotion. "Kausapin mo na ako. I'll be gone for a couple of days. The court decision will be released within this week. Kailangan ko umuwi saglit. Hindi pa nga ako nakakaalis, ang layo mo na sakin."

She shuts her eyes tight, refusing to yield, but Aga begins to plant small, lingering kisses along the curve of her neck.

"Itigil mo nga yang kalandian mo," she whispers, shifting slightly to escape the sensation.

But his arms are a prison of her own longing. "I miss you. Please, babe, patawarin mo na ako."

She tries to maintain her silence, but he is relentless. His lips find hers, his hands cupping her cheeks with a tenderness that betrays his earlier harshness. She pushes against his chest, mindful of Eli, but her resolve begins to crumble. The heat of his touch melts through her defenses.

It is always him—her greatest weakness and her only strength. She allows his touch to explore her longing body, the familiar rhythm of his affection drowning out the lingering pain. Despite the heartaches and the trials, she knows deep down that a life without him is bluer than blue. She gives in, her hands tangling in his hair as she finally pulls him closer, surrendering to the love that refuses to let them go.