I was alone thinking I was just fine
I wasn't looking for anyone to be mine
I thought love was just a fabrication
A train that wouldn't stop at my station
Home, alone, that was my consignment
Solitary confinement
So when we met I was skirting around...
Stephen leans back in his chair, the words of Eli’s message glowing on the screen as he drifts back to the last time he saw her. A wave of pity washes over him—he knows all too well that growing up without a father leaves a hollow space in a child's life—but it is quickly followed by a profound sense of longing. Lea did an incredible job raising her daughter alone. She is as tough and doughty as ever.
For the past twelve years, Lea has been a ghost. He tried to track her down, searching for any lead, but to no avail. Her whereabouts remained a mystery, yet he understood why she stayed hidden. Even so, not a single day passed where she slipped his mind. She is his greatest love, the only woman he ever truly cherished. Reading Eli's message, he feels a sudden surge of adrenaline; he is desperate to see her beauty again, even though his life is now tangled in complexity. He is scheduled to be married next month.
Yet, the effect Lea’s name has on him remains unchanged—a visceral pull that time hasn't weakened.
He hits the call button. The phone rings for a few tense seconds as he prays Eli will pick up. When the girl’s face finally pops up on the screen, he can’t help but grin. Looking at her, he sees a child he would be more than willing to call his own, just to have Lea back in his life.
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"Hi, baby," he begins, his voice warm and familiar even through the screen.
Eli pulls herself together. If this were anyone else, she wouldn't feel this breathless rush of adrenaline. But this is him—the man she believes is her father. "Hello..." she whispers, a flurry of excitement dancing in her chest. "Mmmmm. S-sorry, Sir. I have to lower my voice so Mommy won't hear me."
Stephen chuckles softly. "I understand. Your mom doesn't know about this, and if she finds out..."
"I'm dead," she interjects, her eyes wide.
Stephen laughs heartily at her bluntness. "I know your mom too well. She’s strict, so I'm not surprised to hear that. How are you? And how is she? What does she do for a living now?"
"Mommy, tita Emma, and Mama J put up a tutorial school. Do you still remember Mama J? Mommy said he had a crush on you back then."
He grins, a nostalgic glint in his eyes. "Yes, baby. But your mom is the one I love so much."
Eli feels a rhythmic throb in her heart and beams. "That’s why you have me, da... Sir. Mommy enrolled me in a Catholic school this year to lessen my stubbornness. At first, I hated it. The policies are so stringent. I can’t even bring my favorite chips, and the food court is just nasty. I hate veggies, but when Mom is around, I have to pretend to like them or she won’t let me eat anything else for a week."
Stephen can’t stop laughing at her animated complaints.
"...but I’m starting to love it there now. Candyce, my best friend and tita Emma’s daughter, is my classmate. I’m also the student council president and lead two school clubs. I’m a top student, too, da... S-Sir. Mommy is very proud. Are you, too?"
Stephen sighs, amazed by how Lea has raised such an intelligent, vibrant child all on her own. But his heart warms at the visible longing in Eli’s eyes. He feels a sudden urge to find Aga and settle old scores for breaking Lea’s heart years ago. "I am, baby. Of course. You’re all grown up now. The last time I heard about you, you were still in your mommy’s belly. I can still see her blooming face. Looking at you, you’ve inherited all your mom’s beauty. Your mom was my first love, and that feeling perdures to this very day."
He takes a deep breath, knowing he has to rain on her parade. "But I’m sorry to disappoint you, baby... I’m not your daddy. Your mommy and I were never together back then. I wished it had happened, but it didn't. We didn't. Also, I apologize, but I looked at your profile and realized your town is just a few hours from mine. Would you mind if I visit you and your mommy? Don’t worry, she won’t know. This can be our little secret."
Eli goes silent, her eyes turning glassy. The sudden shift worries him. "Baby, I’m sorry."
Eli wipes away a stray tear. "I... I thought you were my dad. I saw the photo you gave to Mommy. You wrote 'I love you' on it."
"Oh, that? Yes. That was a birthday gift, along with flowers and chocolates. But I’m not your daddy, eh."
Eli casts her gaze downward. "B-but... do you know my dad?"
Stephen pauses, weighing his words. Clearly, Lea has kept the truth hidden, and he has no right to overstep. "It shouldn’t come from me, Eli."
"Mommy never says anything about him."
"Then you should try to understand her. Baby, there are things you can't grasp right now, but when you grow up, I’m sure Lea will tell you everything. You need a father for your school event, right? I can attend," he suggests, hoping to fix the sadness in her pout.
"It's alright, Sir. Don't mind it. Mmmmm. I... I don't give my address to anyone. Mommy would get mad."
"It's fine. I can just attend the event. It’s only one day, right?"
"It’s fine, Sir," she declines softly, the spark gone from her voice.
"Tito... call me tito Stephen. Your mom and I are great friends."
"Tito... sorry for disturbing you. I won't do it again. I am very sorry." She sounds small, embarrassed by her mistake.
"Eli, it’s nothing. I know you want to meet him. Someday, when your mom is ready, she’ll let you."
"That’s just impossible. Mommy said he has a family of his own. Things are complicated. My dad doesn’t know about me, and Mommy says that’s for the best. Wag ko na lang daw siya hanapin," Eli pouts.
Stephen silently concurs with Lea’s decision. It protects Eli from the pain of the truth. Aga is likely living his best life, and Lea is simply shielding her daughter from the fact that her father was an asshole.
"Your mom loves you so much. She has her reasons, Eli. Just trust her, okay?"
"Thank you, tito." Eli wipes her eyes again. She hears her mother’s voice calling from downstairs. "Tito? Mommy is calling me. I have to go. Sorry again, but I can’t give you my address."
"It’s fine. No worries. Always be a good girl, okay?"
"Okay, tito. Bye-bye." She manages a small smile before ending the call.
A knock sounds at her door. "Eli? Are you there?"
Eli quickly composes herself before turning the knob. "Yes, Mommy. I’m just... doing my homework."
"Mamaya na yan. Let’s eat first. Come on." Lea stops, stunned when Eli suddenly throws her arms around her waist. "What’s wrong? Is there a problem? Say it to Mommy. Go on."
"I’m fine, Mom. I just want to hug you."
"Sus. Naglalambing. Halika na nga. Let’s eat, nak." Lea takes her hand, smiling. Guilt flourishes in Eli’s chest. She never lies to her mother, but this—this feels like a necessary exception.
Only a few days remain until the event.
Meanwhile, Stephen stares at the city name on Eli's account. It’s a small place. He could spend days there and eventually track Lea down. After a moment of hesitation and discombobulation, he makes up his mind.
He walks out of his office. "Ms. Arlene? I won't be around for a week. I’ll let you handle the academy while I’m away."
"No worries, Sir," his coordinator replies.
There is a restless urge in his heart to see Lea before his wedding day. If this is a work of fate, he’s willing to take the risk. After all, Lea has never truly left his heart.
