15: The Commission

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IVAN

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IVAN

The night I had seen Meera at the club was one of the most difficult nights I had ever had. I could still feel her arms around me. For the briefest of moments, I wanted to close that gap between us and press my lips to hers. I knew I would've done it if she was sober.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. What was I thinking?! I really wanted to see her again, even if her very existence frustrated me. Maybe Anya was right. I'm obsessed. Or just really lonely.

When I saw her across the street, standing on the sidewalk with that serene smile on her face...I think my heart might have skipped a fucking beat. Even with tired dark eyes and messy hair——I still thought she would be beautiful with snowflakes in her hair, shining like stars against a night. Or when I saw her on the dance floor, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling as she drunkenly threw her arms around me. I couldn't stop replaying our conversation in our head before that......over and over again, wondering if I should've told her the truth or not. 

It was like I was in one of those trashy romance novels that Anya secretly read. I'm not the one to say cheesy things like that, but it felt like a bolt of lightning made its way through me. I don't know why but she looked so beautiful. Eddie had given me shit after she had left, calling me 'Lover Boy' for the rest of the night. Anya had stayed, mostly to keep an eye on Meera and Nat. I suspected she just wanted to keep me away from Meera.

Was I that fucking obvious?

"Boss," Eddie said, glancing at me through the rearview mirror. "We're here."

I looked up from my hands, staring at the tall gates of the mansion that were gilded in gold and iron. This was the entrance to hell. It's a pity that it looked like a gothic manor rather than a fiery inferno.

It was three stories high with white and red stone covered in rich green vines that travelled over the high window panes. It was unusually ideal. It looked like it had been plucked out of the pages of a book, reminding me of the grand castles and chateaus I had seen when I visited Europe as a child. There were no towers or fierce dragons but the building was imposing enough. A lion made of black metal looked down at me from above, its cold metal eyes bearing down on me like an avenging angel.

Two guards were stationed in front, each other them as still as statues. They only moved when Felix rolled down his windows.

The land rover drove under it with little fuss. I don't know what I was expecting. I should be anxious, maybe a little apprehensive but all I felt was a strange feeling of calm. I vied this as another battle in a long and drawn-out war. Losing it would be no big deal to me but I knew it was important. I couldn't back down, regardless of the decision that was made today, I would live with it.

At the foot of the stairs stood a man dressed in a grey suit.

"Ah, fuck," Eddie cursed. "This asshole. No wonder Anya didn't want to come."

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