You Don't Know Me

Chapter 14 - Love & Loss

I drove to my apartment in a daze, thinking about what's happening. Where are they right now? Are Dom and Dex going to come out of this first meeting alive? I went straight to the sofa and I can swear that my place smells like him. The games that a mind plays on an anxious person are funny.

Laying down, I finally allowed the tears to fall. I'm tired of being tired and I just want this to be over. I'll tell everyone the truth and deal with the consequences later. Feeling the drowsiness take over, I closed my eyes and accepted the nap that my body needs. Not that it lasted long.

"Hello . . ." I groggily answered my phone.

"Hello love." the voice made my heart stop.

"Dex . . . Deckard, you're Deckard Shaw. Who are you? What do you want?" I growled.

"My real name is Deckard Shaw, I'm a former member of the British Army but I'm sure you already know that. Kaylee, I never meant for this to happen. I wanted to keep this from you for as long as I could because I knew it would make you see me differently. At one point I wasn't the villain, the government forced me to be this person. I'll always be Dex to you." he stated.

"No, you won't because that man doesn't exist. Everything has been a lie, our time together in college, the past few years, lies! You killed my brother, tried to kill my uncle, and then you almost blew me the fuck up! Why the hell are you calling me now? To gloat?" I demanded.

"You weren't exactly upfront about your escapades either. I needed to hear you, love, to hear your voice even if it was just to yell at me and send me to hell." he sighed.

"Hear me? I told you what I was able to tell you without giving too much about our activities. I wasn't going to give away any names and don't you dare turn this around on me! Everything was a lie coming from you, at least I told you something. You tried to kill me! My five-year-old godson was there! A damn baby!"

"I didn't expect you to be there, your name wasn't on the file that I took from your uncle's computer. He must be trying to keep you safe, I only found out when I saw the news and learned I had failed. Never in my life have I been so relieved to have failed a mission. I didn't want to hurt you or the child, that was not my intention. You know, I never thought about it, never even considered looking you up. Never thought I had to." he said.

"Look me up? What the hell are you going on about?"

"When I met you in college, I was working on a mission that I can't tell you about but I met this girl, this vibrant girl who was coming out of her shell after a bad breakup. I had all that I needed to look you up but I never did. Even back then you pulled at my heart and I've never regretted that. It made me want to protect you then as I do now, protect you from whatever's hurting you." he said.

"You're hurting me! Your mission is to kill us!" I argued.

"I never intended to hurt you. Had you not been involved with this, I was planning on getting the mission done and finding you to tell you everything."

"Why are you telling me all of this? All of these lies? Was any of it true? Any of our time, the promises, the years?" I asked, some of that anger evaporating.

"I never lied about my feelings for you, everything that I feel is real. Even if you don't believe me, I can understand your hesitation though. It's all real Kaylee, I love you." he sighed.

"Lies! I was . . . I am a part of the team that took your brother out. I was one of the last ones out of that plane right before he got thrown out. It was Dom, Owen, and me."

"I'd rather not think about that. I don't want to hurt you love."

"Are you asking me what I think you are? The fucking audacity!" there's that anger that I want.