lunch time // seungjin

三十三

seungmin contemplated whether to tell hyunjin or not, it was supposed to be kept a secret right? but it wouldnt hurt if there was someone to help, then maybe it wouldnt take so long, then he could have peace and not live under this observing and tense life. but would hyunjin even believe anything he said?

seungmin didnt realise but he had been spacing out for more than an half an hour and hyunjin was almost done with his baguette, he sighed a little and waved his hand infront of the younger's face. the dazed out boy took a little while to register the waving hand and looked closely at hyunjin's face, he sighed and bit on his lip.

" u-uh its nothing i-i... " seungmin couldnt help but stutter on his words, hyunjin sensed the other's nervousness and sighed a little before pulling the younger boy closer to him.

" its okay you dont have to tell anything if. you dont want to. " hyunjin reassured the blushing boy, the other nodded and smiled shyly to himself. seungmin finished up the rest of his milkshake quickly, wanting to get away from hyunjin. he nearly choked on the milkshake, coughing intensely and his face tinted red from embarrassment. after finishing the last bit of milkshake, he fled and ran down the stairs.

it was almost noon and the other boys have finished their breakfast, he walked into the dinning room and saw jeongin passed out in chan's arms. a wave of guilt washed over him seeing the dried tears on jeongin's face, he interrogated the boy so harshly it must have shocked him hard. he slowly walked into chan's sight and the older boy couldnt help but sigh at him, seungmin was too hard on the young boy. jeongin had already bawled his eyes out he didnt need to wake up to panic, to see fierce seungmin.

seungmin slightly sighed before going to felix who was in conversation in changbin, he hesitantly called out to felix and grabbed his hand to fiddle with when the older boy didnt reply, because he was to engrossed in the conversation. felix turned around to look at seungmin and he couldnt help but notice the dull look on seungmin's face, he knew the younger boy well enough that hes guilty for his behaviour from earlier.

felix pulled seungmin into a hug, feeling the other flinch from the sudden skinship. he hadnt received a hug or had nearly any skinship with people other than hyunjin, except for chan because he was the one who initiated it. but seungmin soon calmed down and relaxed to the foreign feeling of felix's warm skin on his colder ones. felix comforted seungmin with small its okays and pats on his back, he ruffled seungmin's hair but earned a grunt from the other boy and immediately stopped touching seungmin's hair.

seungmin sat up and eyed the dinning table to see that jeongin has woken up from his power nap from the crying, he turned back to felix guilt pouring from his soul.

" hey stop sulking, im sure jeongin will understand you didnt mean it. " felix comforted. " wanna go apologise seungminie? "

seungmin started to shake his head aggressively, he hated the idea of apologising. he was afraid of being rejected, what if jeongin hated him for being an ass to him. what if jeongin was terrified of him, there were so many what ifs, so many possibilities, so many chances of rejection, so many chances of dejection.

tw! panic attack, vomiting

seungmin started to take sharp breaths, his mind bombarded with his insecurities. his mind flooded him with negativity, chances of everything going wrong. he couldnt catch his breath and tears stung his eyes, his vision blurred and everything started to get black. then all of a sudden his eyes widened and he started sweating profusely. he wobbly stood up away from felix and tripped on his way while trying to get to the corner of the room, it was a painful sight to see when seungmin fell on the floor.

the loud thump caught the attention of the other boys and felix rushed over to the younger boy. he was having a hard time breathing and his hair was a messy from the sweat and his pupils dilated wildly. he curled into a ball trying his best to cut himself from the world then he felt a burn at the base of his throat and he forced himself up on his knees, his left hand wrapping around his throat and his right hand instinctively covering his mouth. he let out a gag and his body jolted forward, his let hand unwrapped from his throat and supported his weight against the floor.

seungmin could hear changbin calling out for hyunjin in the background, the loud buzzing sound rang in his ears and his head hurt. his eyes picked up on hyunjin's familiar figure who came downstairs annoyed from the loud yelling. when he reached the head of the stairs, he saw seungmin kneeling on the floor tears flowing from his eyes. he immediately rushed over to seungmin, he noticed how the other was looking pale and a little green and was retching. he picked seungmin up and rushed to the toilet.

as soon as he reached the toilet, seungmin threw up his stomach's content. the milkshake from before emptied out into the toilet, hyunjin gently hushed seungmin, rubbing his back as he helped him kneel properly. his hands gently held seungmin close rubbing his stomach to help him get rid of everything.

sweat dripped off seungmin's forehead as he continued throwing up, vomiting more. tears streamed down his face, as seungmin felt like he could start to breathe again. just as he was about to let out a shaky breath but he felt let out another gag and he jerked forward again, this time stomach acid pouring out. it burned his windpipe to breathe and his nose was blocked, he shook uncontrollably as he struggled to get his breathing under control. his nails dug into his palms and he shut his eyes, feeling the lump in his throat rising the emptiness left behind being filled with a choking liquid.

after seungmin emptied his stomach, he gently leaned back on hyunjin whining softly. " good job minnie. just let it all out. " seungmin felt small after being called minnie and he shrunk against hyunjin as he tried to stop his tears from flowing. he felt hyunjin grab a hold of his hips and slowly push him off his lap and he immediately panicked and grabbed onto the other boy. 

" hey dont worry minnie, im going to get you a cup of a water so you can rinse all the ickys away okay? " hyunjin soft reassured, but seungmin shyly clung on hyunjin for security. 

" you dont wanna let me go huh? " hyunjin chuckled and ruffled seungmin's hair, the younger hummed in response and a blush emerged on seungmin's face. 

" then lets go together, would you like that hm? " hyunjin softly cooed and look at the human koala clinging on his torso.

seungmin dodged hyunjin's gaze and shyly leaned his forehead on hyunjin's shoulder and nodded in the tinniest way possible. 

" fine, only because youre cute. "

its so nasty im starting school on 040121 and i am: disgust. i literally have like two days and i have 3 major assignments to complete >:(

EDIT: ALSO I JUST REALISED I DIDNT UPLOAD THE COMPLETE VERSION-