lunch time // seungjin

二十八

tw! panic attack

seungmin had his eyes glued to the floor, his vision blurred as he felt panic rise up in his chest.

" seungmin? " he heard jisung call. his head rose up to show a confused look. his tears started falling at the mention of his past, his eyes was pure confusion as he felt the familiar panic rising up in him. it has been awhile since he had a panic attack but he could never ever forget how it feels.

the sympathetic looks he received, the confusion he faced. he heard his friends talking to him but his brain couldnt process anything, his legs went jelly and he struggled to breathe. his hand instinctively grabbed onto the wall for support. he slid down the wall, other hand grabbing his heart area. sweat trickled down his head as he remembered he had prescriptions for his panic attacks that he keep in a miniature pill box in his back pocket.

seungmin struggled to pull out his tiny pill box and passed it to felix. felix knew what was going on but still wasnt used to dealing with it, he knew that seungmin wanted his panic attack pills but he didn't know how many seumgmin was supposed to take. plus seeing pills from seumgmin brought felix back to the first time he met seungmin, it was because he tried to take his life. tears stung at felix's eyes as the pill box was taken out of his hands by jisung.

without saying much, he passed seumgmin 3 pills and asked everyone to stand at the side and not crowd around seungmin. everyone watching silently, worriedly as seungmin's breathing slowly stabilized.

jisung lifted seungmin up easily, he was shocked at how light the younger weighed. he massaged seumgmin's nape and turned to the others," wanna crash at my house for a few days? school's cancelled for the next few days because student council has to deal with some important issues in school. "

the others nodded in sync, jisung with a koala seungmin walked to the school's parking lot, they got into jisung's black sport car and drove off. upon reaching, jisung sent his address to his friends who went back to their respective homes to get clothes for the inpromtu sleepover.

seungmin had fell asleep on the car ride to jisung's house, when the car stopped jisung carried seumgmin. not that he minded, seungmin was like a baby to him and he needed to be loved and taken care of. he walked upstairs to the master bedroom and set seungmin down, he was about to leave but seumgmin kept holding on to his arm. he chuckled at seungmin's cute actions and got into bed with seungmin, he pulled the younger boy into his chest and slowly drifted to sleep with the boy.

it took sometime for the other boys to reach jisung's house, when they reached there was a personal chauffeur to park their cars in jisung's basement. jisung was kinda rich too, son of han works they weren't one of korea's big 5 but they were top 10 in korea too. he had a decent sized bungalow that he owned so he technically could call it his house.

jisung and seungmin were cuddled into a ball when the other boys burst into their room to check on seungmin. they started cooing at the two sleep boys that looked so soft, all of them but one, hyunjin. he couldn't help but feel jealous that the person comforting and cuddling seungmin was jisung not him. he huffed and stormed out or the room, harshly slamming the door.

jisung stirred awake from the loud slam and seungmin shifted in his sleep, jisung massaged seungmin back and the younger almost instantly calmed down and continued sleeping.

jisung carefully step out of bed, he made sure not to wake seungmin and ushered the other boys out of the room for seungmin to sleep peacefully. jisung placed a hoodie on the bed for seungmin to change into later.

the six boys were now sitting in jisung's living room, everyone wanting answers but no one dared to ask. an awkward silence hung in the air.

" seungmin had a panic attack, most probably from the mention of his house. " jisung said. then all eyes darted to felix, he was the only one who knew seungmin's past.

" it's not my story to tell. " felix answered, he looked down and fiddled with his fingers. changbin instinctively placed a hand on the younger's back, reassuring the younger.

" felix we have to know, how are we going to be there for him if we don't know? " jisung pleaded." plus i have something to share too, but after you. "

felix sighed, he didnt know whether it was the right choice. telling seungmin's past to these people he met a few days ago? but jisung was correct, they deserved to know, they can't help seungmin if they didnt know the story.

" lix, for all these years you've been keeping it to yourself, hurting yourself. at least let us help? " changbin quietly mumbled as he slowly pulled felix into his lap. he knew felix needed the comfort and the skin ship. he rested his his chin on felix's shoulder and wrapped his arms securely around felix.

felix heaved a huge sigh before speaking.

" we met when we were 14, he attempted suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills. that was when i was sent to help him, i was his therapist. we became best friends and everything was going fine, it was all smooth sailing he was happy and everything seemed better, brighter. one day i found him in the bathtub and he slit his wrists. he nearly died, but he was brought back. then he disappeared from my life until we met a few days ago again. that was why i was so agitated when we met that day, because he tried to take his l-life tw-twice and i couldnt he-help him. " felix explained, a lump formed in his throat when he mentioned seungmin attempting suicide, it hurt him so much he didnt know what to do anymore.

" act-actually its t-thr-ee, i found him attempting to drown the first time i met him. " jisung stuttered as he confessed something he's been keeping from the group for quite sometime. he felt minho grab his hand and squeezed it lightly.

" actually, he self harms too. on his upper arm, the cuts were really deep and they bleed a lot. " hyunjin said as he stared straight at the floor.

everyone was in silence after they spilled, no one really knew how to react? seungmin who always seemed like a small fluff ball to them had been through so much, the youngest is so dangerous to his own survival. he could commit suicide the next moment for all they knew. everyone was processing the information when they hear the bedroom door creak open.

" act normal, don't let him know we busted. " felix whispered before doing the first thing that came to his mind that didnt seem suspicious, he turned around and wrapped his arms around changbin's neck. they looked like a cuddling couple that actually seemed pretty legit.

chan laid his head in hyunjin's lap and closed his eyes, he pretended like he was sleeping.and hyunjin to finish the act started play with chan's hair. minho continued playing with jisung's hand while the younger grabbed his phone and starting fake scrolling through his phone which wasnt even on.

as seungmin slowly walked down the stairs, jisung naturally raised his head and acted shocked that seungmin was awake. seumgmin had messy hair and was tucked in an oversized gray hoodie that went mid thigh, he as wasnt wearing pants but a pair of boxers.

everyone started to pay attention to how thin seungmin's legs were and how small his figure looked when wearing jisung's clothes. he still looked super cuddly and honestly that was what he needed.

" hey bub wanna watch a movie? " jisung asked as he pulled seungmin into a sitting position in his lap while leaning into minho's chest.

damn why was hyunjin's heart aching to snatch seungmin from jisung and minho and be the one hugging him instead. hyunjin didn't possibly have a crush on seumgmin did he?

i don't even know whether a person can attempt suicide three times- or whether a kid can be a therapist at 14, i just tried my best to make it seem realistic but i think im failing dixisjsjwj yall don't come after my idiotic ass 😔

unchecked