Story of my Life

The Calm....

"The feeling is good, but it isn't as good as before. I decided it wasn't worth bringing up, but it definitely feels....... Different. The heavy fluttering he gave me became light butterflies and it almost felt tainted. The thought that every incoming text could be someone else, and ever outgoing text is a secret plan, was saddening." I watched him rapidly type responses to each person, secretly hoping I was wrong.

"I don't want to be the person that has to check their partners phone. I want to just relax and have faith that he's not doing anything." I sat the phone down on the kitchen counter and paced around, occasionally stopping to peak at the half naked man in my living room. I slowly sat down in a chair and awaited for my therapist to answer.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked rhetorically. "Do you really forgive him? Because people often say they forgive when really their just pushing it down." She stop and waited for my response, but started again when she didn't hear anything. "If you honestly trust what he says, and truly forgive him. Then give him time to prove what he's saying. If you keep painting him as the bad guy, you'll only see him as the bad guy."

Quietly I acknowledged her wise words and knew that she was right. "I know Sev wouldn't do this on purpose, and he seems remorseful. So I'm gonna talk to him about openness and let him know things still hurt a bit. Thanks, and sorry for the early call." I smiled lightly as she said goodnight, and hung up her end of the call.

It had only been a couple hours since we woke up and the sun was shining through the kitchen window, the fall air was crisp and the inklings of snow were staring to fall. Slowly I reached out and pulled the window in as Seven stepped behind me. "How was your call?" He asked, lightly kissing my neck.

"It was good, I really needed the advise. What about you? Seem pretty popular this morning." I slowly turned and hooked my fingers on his belt loop, and when he leaned down to kiss me I smiled lightly.

"It just Alec, Kai and Tia. Were trying to make plans for Thanksgiving break. No one wants to go camping in the winter. There were a couple suggestions that felt like short time activities, but nothings sticking." He looked down at me and followed my eyes to his phone, then spoke again.
                          "It's pretty much the usual ..... Do you wanna read some of the texts? So you know what's going on." He fumbled around with his words before gently pulled out his phone.

                       "Only if you're willing to show me, it's your phone and who you text with it is none of my business. I think we just need to relax and treat everything carefully, or at least more slowed down." I tried to speak as collectedly as possible, and he understood. He tilted his phone to showed me his password, then opened up his messages and dm's.

It was refreshing to know that he hadn't been talking to Layla since that night, but it also felt wrong. He shouldn't have to avoid her because of me, and none of us should feel awkward about it. We can manage this like adults. He watched as I absentmindedly scrolled up and down, then lightly pushed the phone down.

                          "So what do you want to do for Thanksgiving break? What's Kori's wildest ideas?" He slid his hand into mine and intertwined our finger, then lightly massaged where his thumb was. He was being so earnest and accepting, that it was making me a little suspicious, but I told him what I would suggest anyways.

                            "A mini vacation to New York, I know we can't go to any casino's but we could still find really cool things to do. Like the zip line from the top of the hotel, maybe a fancy restaurants, epic two floor laser tag. We could mess up a hotel room!" I beamed, before nonchalantly shrugging the idea off and looked down at our hands. "It would be a really cool getaway for all of us! After the drama and stress, we could really use a break! Oh, you should even invite Layla! She's still my friend."