Not Over ➝ a.i.

33

Ashton

I grabbed Addie by her hand and held her as tightly as I could. I looked down to see her looking up at me while I smiled knowing I have her as tears streamed down my face.

"Ashton." She cried out and I felt like her hand was slipping from mine.

"Baby, you've gotta give me your other hand so I can pull you up." I said and she started to shake as she looked down.

"I'm scared." She said with her lip quivering.

"I know, baby I'm right here, just give me your other hand." I instructed her. She looked up at me with tears still streaming down her face, "Look at me Addie, I've got you." I reassured her.

That's when Louis came up behind me and I tried fighting him off so I could hold Addie so I didn't drop her. He pulled out a gun and smirked cocking it back. "You aren't getting away from me this time!" Louis snapped. I heard another gunshot as Addie screamed. Louis looked down at his chest as he turned around to see Harry holding up a gun with smoke coming out of it. Louis dropped to his knees gripping his chest as blood began to come out of his mouth and he coughed as he dropped to the ground now laying limp.

I turned back to Addie as she went to grab my other hand, until I felt hers slip from my grasp. I tried to catch her but it was far to late, she began to fall as I yelled out her name. "Addie!" I said sitting there slamming my fist onto the ground furious that I let her slip from my finger tips. I swore under my breath as Harry came to comfort me when I pushed him away and stormed down the stairs to get outside.

I got out there and fell to the ground gripping my chest as I began to go into a fetal position and cry my eyes out. I was screaming in pain, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, I felt like my whole world was taken from me. I looked down at one of my bracelets that Addie gave me a long time ago, one I never ever took off. I brought it to up to my lips as they started to shake. I screamed out Addie's name and began tugging at my hair as if I wanted to just rip it out.

I couldn't breath nor open my eyes since my tears a blurring my vision. What about Lexi? She'll grow up without a mother who has been there more than I ever have. This is all my fault. I should've quit when I had the chance to but no, I had to keep doing it so I could get money. The only reason I stayed was because I wanted to get a place with Addie, so we could start our lives together. I knew she was having trouble at home and always wanted to get away, what better way for her to do that if it's the two of us against the world? Now I blew that chance.

"Addie!" I cried out as thunder struck and rain began to fall. My life was officially over, but I can't leave, Lexi needs me. I left once, there's no way in hell I'm doing it again.

Harry finally came over and kneeled down beside me before he pulled me into a hug as I cried into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Ashton." Harry said lightly with a sniffle. He tried helping me up and I too sniffled before wiping under my eyes furiously.

We headed towards Zayn and that's when I noticed that he was holding something. I rose my eyebrows at him as we began to get closer and I began to recognize what he was holding. Rushing over to him I looked down into his lap and saw that it was Addie. I scooped her up from Zayn's hold and held her bridal style closely to me.

"Addie," I whispered hoping that she'd answer me, but she still laid lifeless in my arms. "Baby please don't leave me, you've gotta be okay." I choked up looking down at her, but nothing.

"Ashton.." Harry sniffled placing his hand on my shoulder, I shook it off and kept my focus on Addie.

"Please come back to me baby, please," I sniffled now burying my face into the crook of her cold neck. "I love you." I choked up as it came out a a helpless squeal/cry.

It's been five minutes and still nothing, I've lost her forever, the girl of my dreams, no, my life. She was gone and I'll never be able to forgive myself for this, she's dead because of me and all of my mistakes. I laced our fingers together for the possible last time as I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cold and pale lips. Tears streaming down my face as the rain dripped from my hair onto Addie's now lifeless body.

I kneeled in the muddy grass for what seemed like forever as I began to untwine our fingers so I could let her go, but I never will be able to. She was my first and my last love. I felt warmth on my hand and I looked down at Addie to pray that it was her warm hand and not just mine.

"Ashton." She mumbled as her eyes opened weakly and she was breathing heavily.

I began to happy cry as I kissed her entire face all over and pecked her lips multiple times as my voice cracked when I held her closer. "I thought I lost you." I whimpered.

"Ash." She said wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me, I dropped to my knees and held Addie in my lap as the two of us cried.

"I love you, I love you so fucking much. I'm so sorry for everything baby I truly am, I'll never forgive myself for hurting you physically.. I'm just, I'm so sorry." I apologized a million times kissing the top of her head.

"I love you Ashton." She said back to me wiping under her eyes.

"I don't mean to break the cute little love thing here, but we've gotta get her to a hospital." Harry said and I nodded standing up and carrying her to the car. I crawled into the back with Addie and held her close to me, never wanting to let her go ever again.

Zayn began to speed to the hospital and cut cars off managing to not get caught by cops. Once we got to the hospital in twenty minutes due to Zayn's speeding, I carried her out of the car and into the hospital, she could barley keep her eyes open.

"Someone help, my girlfriend needs help!" I called out into the hospital as nurses came our way with a gurney and laid Addie down examining her with a small flashlight before they started to roll her away. I was holding her hand as I walked along the side until the nurse stopped me so I couldn't go back. I leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss before the rolled her away and her hand left mine as I stood there nervously hoping she'd be okay.

Walking back to the waiting room Harry and Zayn comforted me trying to talk to me and pat my back telling me she'd be alright. Minutes later the rest of the guys came in with Niall holding Lexi who was crying until she saw me, she cried even harder. I stood up quickly as Niall set her down and she ran to me almost tripping when I held her close to me and gave her a million kisses.

"D-daddy." She stuttered crying loudly as I shushed her and rubbed her back to calm her down. Her lip was quivering and her eyes were bloodshot from crying so much, she sniffled and started coughing from crying too hard.

"It's okay baby, daddy's got you, it's okay." I reassured her as I stood there holding our little girl in my arms trying to calm her down as she still cried into my shoulder muffling it. "What happened?" I asked and Luke stepped forward.

"I went to go visit Addie and make sure she was doing okay but when I got there the door was unlocked. I noticed a lot of stuff broken and didn't know what happened. I called out her name and I heard crying from the upstairs bathroom, it was Lexi. She had locked herself in there and she told me Addie told her not to come out no matter what. Ash, she was there when Liam went to get her.." Luke explained and I held Lexi even closer to me.

"I'm just glad nothing happened to her, thank you for getting her Luke." I said thanking him and he nodded awkwardly. "I'm sorry for all the conflict between us man, I really miss my best pal." I admitted.

"Hey." Calum whined and Michael hit him upside the head and shushed him.

"Friends?" I asked and Luke nodded coming over and giving me a hug.

Lexi began shaking and whimpering as her lip quivered. I pressed my lips to the side of her head trying to shush her but she kept getting worked up. I sat down in the waiting room worried about how Addie would be.

-

oh my gawd!!

nicole xx