Biker roots

Chapter 31 - Dangerous guys

We are driving in silence towards my parents' house. I am looking out the window as everything passes by. Life just seems so meaningless without them. My train of thoughts and memories is stopped by Rover, his concerned voice fills the car. "You need to call him." He says. I look back out of the window. Rovers hand is resting on my thigh. "Love call him." He says again. 

Trembling I take my phone and dial his number. "Felix" My voice is trembling "Fox, what's wrong? Where are you? Has something happened?" I can see how Rover tense up next to me. I softly squeeze his hand and he smiles at me. "Felix, something bad happened." I almost whisper. 

"Where are you? I am coming for you." He immediately responds. "I am on my way home. But ..." I can't get the words out of my mouth, tears stream down my face. "Fox, calm down. Tell me what's wrong. You're scarring me." I can hear his voice is filled with concern. "Mom, dad" I take a few deep breaths, to compose myself. 

"Felix, there's been an accident." I finally manage to say. He goes silent and tears stream down my face. "I was coming back this weekend" I say. "Fox, I don't know what to say. I am sorry about what I said." "You were right, now I can't even say goodbye." I sniffle. 

"NO Fox, listen carefully. I was an asshole for saying those things to you. You deserve to know your real father. When will you arrive?" He says stern. "We need to drive for another four hours." "Okay, I'll give you some time, but I am coming over with dinner. Fox you don't have to do this alone, I am right here for you" He says sincerely. I really need my best friend right now. 

"Thank you Casanova." I whisper the words. "You don't know how glad I am to hear you say those words. I wish I could take your pain, you don't deserve any of this." Felix says. I sob. "Fox, it may not seem so at the moment, but eventually the pain will be less present. Hold on, I'll see you in a bit okay?" He asks. "Okay." I manage to say. "Bye Fox." "Bye Felix."

Rovers fingers softly stroke my cheek. "You're not alone in this Lex. I will be by your side every step of the way." He softly says. I close my eyes hoping it will hurt less. "Rover, can you" I start to say, focus on breathing Alex, come on. "Go easy on Felix. I know it will not be easy, but I would mean a lot." I ask. "Are you sleeping in my arms tonight?" He returns the question. "Of course, I think I won't able not to." I reply. "Then I have no reason to go hard on Felix." He softly kisses my hand. "Try to get some sleep love. You look tired as hell."

I close my eyes, but every dream I have is the same. They all start with a happy memory of my parents until at a sudden point they have the accident and I am left devastated and alone. I feel how two strong arms wrap around me. "Love you're safe, wake up." Rover's voice brings me back to reality. I open my eyes and see his worried eyes right in front of me. 

"We are here." He says. I look over at the house, my stomach flips over and the tears well back up. I step out the car and look at the house, the place that was once my home looks now empty and abandoned. I take a step towards the door, it feels as if my legs are made of concrete. I have to drag myself over towards the door. The nauseating feeling gets worse with every step.

No hug from mom when I walk in.

No kisses from dad or a glass of whiskey.

No more Sunday barbecues.

And then it hits me like a giant truck, my live will never be the same. It will never be the same and as I reach the front door and slide the key in the lock all lights go out and everything turn black.

When I wake back up, I lay on our couch, a concerned Rover by my side. He pulls me close and envelopes me in a big hug. I let my head rest on his chest and listen to his heartbeat to keep myself calm. 

"How did you get through it?" I ask, I need to know how to do this. I need to know that things won't always be like this. "What do you mean?" Rover asks confused. "Losing your parents." I softly say. "I don't think I am a good example, Love." He responds. "Tell me." "My parents were killed and I knew who did it. So instead of focusing on my grieve I focused on revenge. It hurt as hell when they were gone, but I was so consumed by revenge that I didn't feel a lot of it. I don't want you to go down that road. It was a dark place." He brushes his hand through his hair. 

"What pulled you trough?" I ask. "Your father. When I met him he showed me that there were other things to do and to focus on." He softly strokes my hair and places another kiss on my forehead. "Would you watch some recordings with me? Mom and Dad made a lot of them." "Whatever you need Love." He says.

We watch a lot of them, on each and every special occasion my mom and dad made sure to make a recording. Right now I am really grateful they did as I watch them with tears in my eyes. It gives me a chance to see what we had. To see them again. Rover sits by my side holding me close for the rest of the day.

In the evening the bell rings and I walk over to our front door. Felix is standing there with 4 boxes of pizza and a pint of my favorite B&J ice cream. He looks at me, eyes filled with guilt. "Hi Fox" I walk up to him and hug him tight, I can feel him smile. "I am so sorry Alex." We walk both back inside and I can see Rover tensing when he notices Felix. 

As I look over to Felix I see pure anger in his eyes. "Felix" Rover says deadly calm. "Rover" Felix responds. Wait what how do they know each other? "What are you doing here?" Felix asks. Rover walks up to me until he is standing next to me. "Supporting Alex." Rover answers with a glare. "I am here now, so you can leave." Felix responds.

Luckily right in that moment the bell rings again. I look surprised up and walk back. "Hi Alex." Dan greats me, eyes filled with sadness. "Hi Dan." "How are you holding up kiddo?" he asks. Tears roll down my face as I see him standing in his uniform. The same one dad used to wear. I let him inside and he hugs me tight. "I am so sorry Alex." He says. 

We walk back in the kitchen were Rover and Felix are still standing. "I wanted to tell you myself what had happened." Dan starts to say. I nod at him. I take some glasses and plates and give all of the guys one. "They were driving through the woods and lost control over the wheel. Our guess is that your father tried to avoid an animal, while doing so he crashed against a tree. The impact killed them instantly they didn't suffer." Dan says with a huge lump in his throat. 

I can't breathe, I am suffocating. It's all too much. Two strong arms pull me against a firm, muscled chest. As Rovers sent and calming voice hit me, I slowly get back. "Alex Love, breath." He says over and over until I finally calm down. 

Felix is staring wide eyed at us. Dan's eyes are filled with concern. I look back over at Dan. "The funeral is in two days unless you need more time. The whole force will be there, You aren't alone in this." He says. I nod. "Listen Alex, if you need anything just call me. Your father was like a brother to me." Dan hugs me tight and as he's about to leave he whispers at me. "Be careful Alex, you're hanging with very dangerous guys"