Biker roots

Chapter 6 - Family

There's a knock at my door after Felix left. "Honey can I come in?" I hear mom say. "Yeah mom." Quickly I wipe away my tears before she enters. "Felix seemed upset as he walked down." She looks at my face "And you have been crying. What's wrong?" "Boys, but I'd rather not talk about it." I answer "Okay can I give you a hug?" I nod and she holds me tight. 

"Mom can I ask you something?" I fiddle with the hem of my blanket, this isn't going to be an easy conversation. "Anything honey." She responds. "Did you meet the woman who gave birth to me?" I ask. "Yeah, two times. She wanted to make sure that we would take good care of you." I nod and study her face for a couple of seconds. 

"Mom, thank you for always being so honest with me. I hate it when people lie to me." "I know honey, the counselor told us when you were little." I nod. There was a brief period in my life were everything was just too much. I tried so hard to be the best version of myself, to be worthy of being loved, to be worthy of being adopted that I crashed. Mom and dad decided that it was best for me to see a counselor.

"Why do you ask now?" mom asks. "I've received a letter from her." Her eyes go wide and she turns pale. "Honey, that's not possible. She is dead." "I know, but she has written this letter to me when I was two years old." "Ooh, that's thoughtful of her." Mom answers, she thinks for a moment. "How did it make you feel?" "Mostly confused. She was always just someone in the stories. But now she became more real." 

That's the truth, never have I wondered what she looked like or what she was like. Because I had no memories of her, no idea of what she was like. But now holding her letter I feel confused. "Do you want to talk about what she wrote?" Mom asks as she looks at me, eyes filled with concern. "She gave me the place where I used to live. And mentioned my biological father." 

My mom is silent, this must hurt her. "Mom I don't want to hurt you or dad. You are my parents and will always be, no letter can change that." "I know honey, but I think you should go see if he is still alive." I look shocked at her. 

I didn't expect that. "Your grades are perfect, we couldn't have asked for a better daughter and jet you can't seem to find the direction of your future. Maybe meeting him can help you. If not it will at least give you some closure." For a couple of minutes I don't know what to say. Mom smiles at me. "Take a shower and come down so we can discuss this as a family." I hug her and jump in the shower, while the hot water runs over my shoulder I am debating myself whether or not I should tell them who my father is. Maybe it's best if I don't. It will only worry them.

As I walk down the stairs I hear them argue. "You know what that woman was like. It's just too dangerous." Dad says. "We have to support her. She has the right to know where she came from." Mom answers him. "I know, I am just scared we will lose her." I let dad words sink in for a couple of seconds before I walk further downstairs. 

"Hi dad." I say. "Hi pumpkin." He answers. I hug him tight. "Mom told you about the letter?" "Yeah she did. Tell me what do you want to do?" I close my eyes for a couple of seconds as I think about what to do. "I don't know, you guys are my parents. I don't know if I want to let a stranger in my life." I answer. "We love you no matter what you choose. But you have got to know that meeting your father can be dangerous. Your mother was nothing like us." Dad says.

"I am not looking for my father, I know who my father is." I press a kiss on his cheek. "But maybe knowing my biological father will get me some closure and an idea of the direction I want to take." "We all know our roots, but you don't. Further than the stories you know nothing about your parents. I think it will do you some good, to know who they are and what their reasons were." Dad says. 

Mom is still frowning as she looks us over. "Honey, just be careful. Don't underestimate meeting him, it will be hard. Maybe he past away just like your biological mother." She pauses for a couple of minutes while she looks at me. "You know we love you a lot and this will always be your home, there will always be a place for you in our lives. But maybe you father hasn't. I just don't want to see you hurt." She says. "I know mom, I will be careful." 

"How soon do you want to leave? I heard you had some boys troubles as well." Dad says. He sighs and looks at my mom. I hug them both and smile. "Thank you for always being so supportive. I love you both. I'll finish school and then I'll go look for him. I don't know how long I will stay. It depends on how things go. But I will call every day." "Okay, we are proud of the lady you've become pumpkin. But you do need to talk to Felix. That boy looked heartbroken." Dad says. "I thought you hated him?" I am actually a bit surprised. "I do, but your mother made me realize that he did some really nice things for you." "I know dad. I just can't seem to figure out what his intentions are." "Only time will tell." Dad says with a smile.