Waste It On Me ( BTS - RM FF) [ON-HOLD]

Chapter 17

Namjoon's POV

It's afternoon and i just got back from Busan, now i was staring wide eyed at the woman across the table. The woman I've been longing for, for weeks. Kriz.

Me and the others were eating lunch at the restaurant inside the hotel where Jin was working at. Aside from Ellie, all of them are just as shocked as me when she sat with us.

"Para namang nakakita kayo ng multo, hello? "

We snapped back to reality when she waved her hand in front of us.

"H-How? When? " I don't know what to ask. How is she? When did she get back? Where did she go in the last two weeks? What did she do back then?

She smiled at me "let's talk later. "

My heart skipped a beat because of that, not because i got all excited but because i became so nervous when i heard that line.

I decided not to think much about it and enjoyed my time with my friends and Kriz during our lunch.

Ellie kept on asking her things such as

"Where did you go?"

Kriz drank her orange juice before answering "Jeju"

"Why did you go there? "

"I saw a commercial and got so excited when i see how beautiful Jeju is. I immediately went there to see for my own eyes. "

We all know that's a lie, but we all kept our mouth shut. I'll just wait until Kriz decided to tell us on her own.

I was just wondering what happened two weeks ago that made Kriz like this? Her smile also seems forced. I miss her genuine smile that gives me warmth and cozy feeling. Her smiles that felt like home.

Something's wrong, i can feel it.

After lunch we all went our separate ways. Well, except for me, Taehyung and the two girls. I want to spend more time with Kriz. Jin and my secretary can handle the work at our company.

I was sitting with Taehyung watching the two girls chat. We're inside their hotel room which was more spacious than Kriz's, well that's understandable because there are two of them here.

"Are you nervous? " Taehyung asked.

"I'd be lying if i said no. "

"I'm nervous for you too bro. "

I gave him a glare and he just laughed.

"You're not helping. "

"Don't mind what i said, i just hope things will go well between you two. " He said then he patted my shoulder.

I looked at Kriz who was now playing some sort of games that only the two of them knew.

"I just hope so too " i whispered

Before we knew it, dinner time came. Jimin and Jungkook came to have dinner with us. At first we planned to eat at the same restaurant we went earlier, but Ellie was craving for some hotpot so we decided to go out and eat hotpot.

I was beside Kriz all the time, i would assist her in everything even if she didn't ask for it. She'll just thank me and give me a small smile.

My heart aches everytime she did that. I was more and more curious about what happened two weeks ago.

She's more distant now and i can feel that she is avoiding me even if she acted like she doesn't. If others would see, they would not even know. She's treating me like before. Is it all in my head?

Am i just too nervous?

I felt her gaze while i was eating. I looked at her and saw her looking at me.

"Is there a problem? " I asked, but she just shook her head.

"Wala naman, just keep on eating. Don't mind me. " She said.

I did what she told me, i ate my food but i had a hard time swallowing. It felt like i was swallowing a rock every time i eat.

My mind is a mess, I can't stop my nervousness now, different thoughts kept running around my head.

I'm scared.

I don't want to loose her.

---

Kriz and i are walking at the side of the road,we decided to walk around and left the others, they were still eating.

Kriz was walking a few steps ahead of me, gazing at the night sky. There were no stars, just clouds and pure darkness.

When we reached a small park we both sat down at the cold bench. Even though i was wearing thick layers of clothes i still felt how cold the bench was.

"How have you been? " I asked her.

"I'm good. Eh ikaw? "

"Do you really have to ask? Don't you know how much I've missed you? "

She didn't speak, she just stared at me as if she was expecting me to say more. And so i did.

"You were suddenly gone, i almost went crazy and contacted the police if you didn't get in touch with Ellie first. Don't you know how scared i was? Everyday i waited for you to come back even if i don't know when will that be. "

Now she has tears in her eyes, damn.

"I'm sorry. " She said.

"Tell me what happened. Why did you suddenly went away without anyone knowing? "

She looked at me and wiped her tears "i want to clear my mind. "

"What do you mean? "

"I'm sorry Namjoon, you're a good man and i don't want to hurt you. "

Fuck! Don't tell me..

"I was just overwhelmed. You were so nice to me and treated me so good that i got swayed. I'm sorry but i-i want you to stop courting me. I'm not the right one for you. "

"Stop this bullshit Kriz, you know i love you. I can feel that you love me too. " I said. My eyes started to water. I knew it.

"Namjoon.. My feelings were messed up, i'm still in the process of moving on. "

I laughed bitterly "so what do you want to tell me now? You still love your ex is that it? "

"Namjoon please understand.. "

"I understand. You want me to stop because of him, i get it. "

I sat there looking at the ground, crying silently. I can hear her sobs.

I felt her hand on mine " I don't want to hurt you. "

I looked at her and met her teary eyes. Her nose is red and so is her eyes. I hate to see her like this.

"But you're already hurting me. "

She shook her head. "It will hurt you more if we go on like this. "

I sighed, wiped my tears and held her face in my hands and then wiped her tears with my thumb.

"If this is what you want, okay.. I'll stop. But if you change your mind.. you can come back to me. "

Our tears kept flowing, she said she didn't want to hurt me but it hurts like hell right now, it felt like my heart has been stabbed a million times and crushed into pieces.

But it hurts me more to see her like this and i couldn't do anything about it.

"Thankyou.. " then she smiled. She also held my face and wiped my tears, then she held my hand and slowly put it away from her face.

She stood up and faced me, bowed and walked away just like that. She left me sitting there alone, in the dark, cold night. It started to snow and i was still frozen in my seat, looking at the path she walked on.