Calm [H.S]

Chapter 28: Your Stars Never Left

*Song: And I Love Her by The Beatles*

Hey besties!! I thought I would write a chapter considering all the bad things that are going on right now in the world, I hope you can use my books as maybe a little getaway from all the stress. I love you all so so so much, thank you for being my distraction. 

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I smile as I look out the window with the music blaring. I needed this more than anything. A drive, with him, it's all just amazing. I still don't know what is going to happen between us yet but that is the last thing I want to think about. I'm having fun right now and I just want to live in the moment for once.

"Bright are the stars that shine dark is the sky. I know this love of mine will never die and I love her," Harry and I sing, both smiling. It's refreshing seeing him smile. The way his smile creates these dimples on his face, dimples you couldn't miss or forget. We've been on the road just driving around for about an hour and a half just singing. Not talking about important things, even though we probably should. I think we both needed this. He was hurting too.

The sun starts to go down as he pulls into a parking spot in the middle of nowhere. We both get out of the car and he starts walking into the woods without saying a word. I immediately follow him so I don't get lost. He eventually finds a dirt trail and gets excited when he finds it almost like he hadn't remembered where it was until now.

Breaking silences I say, "So this is where you kill me."

"No, never," he laughs. "Not here at least." he looks over at me and I can't stop myself from letting a smile curl onto my face from that stupid joke.

"So why are we here then?" I let out in a breathy laugh.

"I'm not telling you, I have to keep you one your toes Leah Davis," he says and I shake my head. I hate surprises and he knows that.

We arrive at a cliff with a perfect view of the sunset. It's honestly beautiful. The yellows, the oranges, the pinks. The sky can create art and I'm in love with it. Harry is the first to sit down in the dirt. He sits with his legs out in front of him, leaning back on his hands. I look down at him. He looks comfy today, wearing gray sweats and a hoodie. He smiles, "You afraid of a little dirt?" I shake my head and sit down and cross my legs. He sits up and crosses his legs too. We both sit there in silence looking at the sky. It's a bit chilly but not too bad. I'm just in a hoodie I brought with me from home and some sweats.

"Nature is beautiful," I say, breaking silence. He looks over at me as I continue to look at the sky.

"It is," he agrees, quietly. I smile knowing he's looking at me. "Leah?"

"Harry?" I question now looking over at him.

"I haven't apologized fully yet and I want to," he says and I get confused.

"Yeah you did, it's okay that you overstepped, really," I say and he shakes his head.

"No not that," he states and I immediately know what he's talking about and I begin to get nervous.

"You don't have to, I overreacted," I say.

"No you didn't. I need to apologize Leah, I was in the wrong," he states, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Leah, I really am. I never wanted to hurt you." My eyes are starting to water and I already know I'm not gonna make it through this without crying.

"I should've never told you it wasn't a big deal when it was. I knew it was, I was afraid to admit it to myself. I should've told her to get off of me. I know if I were in your shoes I would be just as pissed as you were, I wouldn't admit that to you then but I'm admitting it to you now. I would be so beyond jealous that I would probably turn into a person I don't want to be, a bad person. I honestly should've just stayed with you because during my time alone I found out you were the antidote, too late of course. I know you think you overreacted but you didn't, I was an asshole," he says and a tear falls down my face.

"An arrogant son of a bitch," I laugh, with more tears coming out of my eyes.

"Yes, an arrogant son of a bitch. I'm so sorry, you should've never been treated like that. I completely belittled your feelings because at the time I thought if we just ignored it it would go away. You deserve better than that Leah," More tears fall down my face. I wipe them away. I can see his eyes start to water. "You are my favorite person in this world and you deserve better than that." A tear leaves his eye.

"I deserve you," I choke and he shakes his head, looking away. "Yes I do, you can't blame this on yourself. Yes, it was over something you did, but I could have reacted better. We could've worked on it but instead I just broke up with you."

"Leah, it is my fault though. Everything you were saying to me, I was just saying it was no big deal when it clearly was," he says and I grab his face so he'll look at me. He looks down at my hand in almost shock that I did that. I let go.

"It's both of our fault, we were in a relationship. A relationship has two people, not just one. We didn't fight hard enough." I say and he looks out to the sky, which is almost dark now, then back at me.

"Do you think we are worth fighting for?" he asks. "Because I do, I'd fight until I die for us Leah because you are the only person I want to be with."

"I think we are worth fighting for but I think we should take it slow. Like starting from the beginning, friends. I think there is a lot both of us need to figure out and I'm not saying we have to do it alone, but I think we both have to be in a good place mentally to be in a relationship again. Being in a bad mental state would hurt us more than help us," I explain and he nods.

"Okay," he says, thinking about it. "I think you're right."

"Are you sure? If you're not up for that we can-" I'm interrupted.

"I think it's a great idea but the thing I'm confused about is how do we know when we are both ready?" he questions and I smile.

"We'll know," I say and he nods.

"Are you sure?" he says and I nod.

"Definitely, we're Noah and Allie right?" I say and he giggles, his dimples popping out again.

"Yes, Noah and Allie," he agrees. "So when does this whole thing start?"

"I don't know, when do you want it to start?" I question and he smiles.

"When we get home," he smirks and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Why when we g-" I'm interrupted by him kissing me. I grab his face and smile into the kiss. I feel him smile too. He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine and then pecks me on the lips.

"So I could do that," he says, beaming. "After we leave here I'm not allowed to even think about touching you, friend."

I let out a laugh and so doesn't he. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leans us back so we are laying down. I look over at him as he looks up at the sky. I then turn my head to look up at the sky. I immediately smile, I can see the stars. I haven't been able to see the stars in so long, it's like they were hiding too. But now they aren't, they are shining brighter than ever.

"What are you smiling about?" Harry asks, smiling as well.

"The stars are back," I say kind of getting emotional.

"Your stars never left."