I'll be yours

Chapter 18

"I just wanted to let you know that you're a worthless piece of shit"

The message appeared on my lock screen. It's been four days since Luke tweeted about me and the messages are becoming more hateful and more common.
At first I listened to Luke's wishes, not letting them get to me and not listening. But then I started reading them again. I turned my direct messages back on and let them follow me. I knew exactly why they did it. They wanted what I had. I remember what was like as a fan. I wanted to know every detail as a desperate attempt to be close to Luke. So I let them in. I couldn't complain because I welcomed the hate with open arms.
I set my phone down for what seemed like the millionth time that night, and stood up from the couch to get some water. "What are your plans for tonight?" Katie walked into the kitchen. "Just gonna hang out here I guess" I shrugged grabbing a glass from the cupboard. "Oh okay, I'm going out to dinner with Matt" she said putting her coat on. "Okay have fun" I waved as she walked out the door. How nice it must have been to be able to go out with your boyfriend every night.
I made my way back to the couch and pulled my feet up underneath me. My phone screen lit up again.
"How do you feel knowing you crushed millions of girls. Selfish bitch"
Ouch. I locked my phone once again and tried to focus on the show.

"Fucking kill yourself" my phone went off again. I turned off the tv and held the phone in my hands. A couple of tears fell from my eyes. "Go find someone else's life to ruin."
I threw my phone at the opposite wall and held my head in my hands. My crying quickly turned into sobbing. My phone went off again. And I stood up, making my way to my room. I closed the door behind me and walked to my bed. Lifting up the mattress to reveal a small bag. Any other person would have noted, or condoms in that bag. But mine held one of my only escapes from all the bullshit. I opened the bag and pulled out one of the razors. I sat down and pushed my hoodie up, revealing my hip. 2 years. I've been clean 2 years. I was mad at myself in that one moment for not throwing them away but my anger quickly subsided when I slid the cool metal across my skin. The stinging distracted me from the constant ache in my chest and I watched as the blood made its way to the surface. How could little girls be so goddam cruel?
*******a few weeks later *********************
"Okay, favorite color?" Luke asked through my speaker on my phone.
"Dolphin" I laughed.
"Lia! I'm trying to get to know you better." He scolded, trying to hide his smile.
He'd been doing this more often. Trying to find out little things about me.
"Green" I laughed "what's your favorite kind of food?"
"Who are you? Mexican duh"
"Sorry I'm terrible"
"Worst girlfriend" he teases, shaking his head. "Favorite kind of candy?"
My heart fluttered at the use of the word girlfriend. It always did.
"Milky ways. When are you coming back again?" I asked as if I didn't have a countdown on my phone.
"Three days, favorite type of flower?" Luke help up three of his fingers to prove it somehow.
"I don't know the only flower I actually know the name of is a rose" I laughed
"I don't really know any others either" Luke agreed.
"Time flies" I brought the subject back to him coming back.
"Well I have to go on now"
"Alright good luck see you soon"
"See you"
He ended the call. I got up and changed into shorts. Due to the cold weather Katie now turned the heat up more before she left. I lifted my shirt up slightly to look at the scars from the past month. Three days wouldn't heal them enough. I really hoped Luke wouldn't notice.
A knock at my door brought me from my thoughts. It was 1 am. All of my friends were either out at party or sleeping in the next room. So basically Elliot hadn't talked to me in a while and Katie was in for the night.
I walked to the door and turned the handle.
My entire world lit up in about ten seconds. I jumped into Luke's opened arms. "Hey someone's happy to see me." He leaned down and kissed me. "Three days huh?" I pulled him inside. He held out a package of bite sized milky ways and a rose. "I know you told my it would just die before but here" I took them from his hands and set them on the table. "I thought you weren't going to be here until Friday?" I motioned for him to sit down next to me. "Well I lied" he laced his fingers in mine and pulled me closer to him.
"Well obviously, how long are you staying?"
"Until Friday" he smiled. "Well I would've gotten dressed if you could've warned me" I laughed looking down at my shorts and hoodie. "I think you look beautiful" he kissed me cheek. "You're cute when you lie to me" I kissed his back. "So what are we gonna do all week?" I ask, excited for the days to come. "I don't know we should stay in tonight though cause I'm tired and I missed you" he cuddled into me more. I turned and looked into his eyes for a minute. There was something about them that made me nervous. Like the first few times I was with him. I was so cautious and uneasy. Then he leaned down and crashed his lips to mine. And there we were again.

It was like when you can't remember the words of a song but once someone reminds you of the first couple of words, all of the lyrics come flowing out of your mouth with no problem. Our bodies began to move in sync and we responded to each other involuntarily. It was as if all either of us wanted was to be closer. Even when we couldn't have been any more close, we both needed more. I nodded at him and sat up as he pulled my hoodie off of my head. I did the same to him. He moved his lips to my neck and I unbuttoned his jeans. Pretty soon we were both coming undone entangled in each other once again. "

I stood up and pulled on my shorts. Then I took Luke's shirt and put it on. I laughed at how long it was on me. Luke noticed and joined in with the laughter. The sound was and always will be music to my ears. "What are you staring at me for?" Luke laughed, throwing a pillow at me. "I love you" I said throwing it back. His face changed at my words and I began to worry. "I love you too" he said pulling me down on top of him.