I'll be yours

Chapter 21

"Are you okay?" Luke asked sluggishly.
"Yeah I'm fine I'm sorry Luke I-"
"It's okay everyone gets sick sometimes. It just shows you had fun" he ran his finger over my cheek.
"I guess" I smiled weakly. He had to find out at some point. It would break him. It was funny how Calum who was so focused on helping his friend ended up being the one who would hurt him.
"Let's just go to bed,yeah?" Luke smiled wrapping his arm around my legs and carrying me to my room.
We changed and I wore his shirt again. It smelt like him and it didn't mix well with the unforgiving taste of Calum on my lips.
I climbed into bed and Luke slid under the covers, pulling me close to him. "I love you" he said kissing my cheek.
"I love you too" I said Turning In the other direction.
Would I tell him? Would Calum even remember? How drunk were we? The consistence of Luke's breathing made me want to save him from the hurt he would eventually experience when he found out.
I turned my body so we were face to face.
His lips were set in a small smile. And he looked so happy.
I reached out and rubbed his cheek with the back of my hand.
"I'm so sorry Luke" my voice caught at his name and a tear escaped from my eyes.
***************************************************
"Hey did you have fun last night?" I asked Luke when he entered the living room from the bathroom the next morning. I had decided not to tell him. For now. It was better for his stay at least. I just prayed Calum would feel the same about it.
"Yeah that movie was great" Luke replied in a too convincing manner.
"Luke how much did you drink at the party?" What was he talking about?
"Oh right the party, yeah I must have had a lot to drink"
He only had two beers. He had to drive home.
That's when I put two and two together and I realized that I could have told Luke anything last night and he wouldn't have remembered it right now because Luke had a full bottle of pills when we were getting ready for that party. And now he only had 7.
"Luke.." I asked, my voice lingering in the air.
"I'm sorry I must have dreamt we saw a movie or something"
"We were going to watch a movie before you went to take a shower and came out with nearly a half a bottle of OxyContin in your system" I said with a sudden burst of confidence. He needed help.
"Luke that shit fucks you up and you know it." I stood up and Walked over to him.
"Lia I'm fine okay? It was just an accident. I didn't even take that many" he stumbled over his words.
"You don't even remember what happened less than 12 hours ago? That is too many Luke, how many are you supposed to take"
He looked down like a child who had just gotten in trouble.
"1 a day, 4 years ago" he answered quietly.
"How are you still getting them?" I laced my fingers into his.
"Ive been getting them from this girl, she needs the money and she's a nurse so she can write the scripts" he explained.
I started to understand the sadness in his eyes because it showed through then more than I had ever seen.
"Luke that's a felony"
"If I get caught"
"I'm not going to let you do this to yourself"
"Lia I can't just stop okay? They are the only thing that make me happy"
"I guess We'll just have to end then" I said too confidently. Maybe because of the guilt that was still present in my mind. I didn't deserve him.
"No, Lia please try to understand"
"Luke you don't even remember anything. How do I know you will stop? What happens when you wake up and you don't remember our fucking wedding day because you were too fucked up on narcotics?" I started to cry. I wasn't supposed to be the one yelling. He was supposed to be the one giving me an ultimatum. "I need you to get help Luke or we are done" I my voice cracked as I said it. I fell into his arms and he held me as I sobbed.
"I will Lia, just please don't leave" his voice caught too and we cried together on my living room floor in each other's arms.
"I promise I will be there for our wedding day" he said after a while.
"Well duh you kind of have to be" I laughed, wiping my face with my sleeve.
"No I mean I can stop and I promise I will be fully there, my mind and stuff" he said referring to the pills.
"I believe you" I said.
*************************************************
We spent the next day in my room watching movies until Luke had to pack to leave again.
"Are you coming with me?" He whispered in my ear when we woke up from a nap.
"Umm-"
"Lia you can help me and I can get better"
I nodded and got out of bed.
Awesome I get to spend every day reminded of what I did with Calum.
"Thank You so much baby" Luke pulled my back onto him and kissed me softly.
I smiled and got up to pack my stuff. I left a note on the counter for Katie and off we went.

As we all piled onto the tour bus I noticed a familiar face exiting Michael's room. "Elliot!" I ran over to her smiling.
"Fuck uh- hi Lia! I wasn't here okay? Michael would be pissed if anyone saw me" she smiled weakly.
"Oh yeah I get it, have a good day" I said politely.
We all unpacked onto the bus and headed off to the boys next destination.
Finally we were approaching Los Angeles,
I slid down from Luke's bunk and made my way to the entertainment section. I sat on the couch and put my head In my hands. I began to feel nausea. Probably from the motion. I ran to the bathroom and threw up.
"Are you alright?" Ashton's caring tone came through the door. "Yeah thanks ash." I said finally sitting down on the floor. He came into the small bathroom. "Motion sickness?" He asked smiling sheepishly. "Yeah I think so, It's weird though cause I've never had it before." I explained. He shrugged and helped me up and out of the bathroom.