I'll be yours

Chapter 25

" What are you guys doing here?" I squealed.
"We wanted to get drunk. And we missed you" Elliot replied blatantly.
"Oh" I laughed
"Hey who's-"
"What the fuck"
Michael walked into the hotel room. I could tell he was shaken for a second but just barely because he didn't miss a beat from that point on that night.
"Hey I'm Michael!" He held his hand out to Elliot. She looked confused, then angry for a minute but it passed once she reached her hand out. "Elliot" she smiled politely
"I'm Katie" Katie interrupted not noticing the awkward exchange.
"Cool. Do you guys want to come with us to get something to eat?" Ashton invited.
I made my way to the kitchen. Deciding to stay in for the night.
"Lia!" Luke shouted
"Not going" I replied.
He responded by shutting the door once everyone had piled out.
I grabbed a water and picked out Luke's t shirt and some shorts.
I debated drinking some of the vodka Michael brought but decided to just wait it out until everyone got back.
Just as I sat down on the couch to watch some tv, Katie emerged from the bathroom.
"Hey I thought you were with everyone else?" I stated confused.
"I found them Lia" she walked over to me.
"Found what?"
"I was moving stuff in your room around and I lifted the mattress to move it and I found the razors"
I set the remote down. Not knowing How to respond.
"I'm sorry.." I finally said, standing up awkwardly not knowing what to do with myself. She sighed and replaced me in my seat.
She looked me in the eyes and I could tell that she understood somehow.
She slid her flannel up her arm and revealed the scars, and gave me a sympathetic smile.
That was all I needed. I didn't need another person telling me that it would get better with time. They all didn't understand that even the seemingly happiest, most carefree people have scars. I needed proof that I could keep living. And Katie had it.
I began to put two and two together. I never noticed why she never wore short sleeves I just thought she had a thing for flannels and sweaters. I thought that she was trying to make a statement of some sort. But in reality she was just sad.
I pulled her sleeve down and sat down next to her on the couch.
"How long?"
"Have I been doing it?" She asked.
"Have you been clean"
"Couldn't tell you"
She looked down and the realization that she was so sad and felt like she couldn't talk to me made me feel like a shitty friend.
"Katie. I'm a shit person. I fuck up a lot and take people for granted. But I know what that feels like. And you can always talk to me. I know that's not something that always helps. But I need you to know that." I turned to her.
"This isn't about me Lia" she hesitated for a second.
"I don't know what to say because of I say i think it'll be great in a couple of days I would be lying. I have no idea. But I do know that we've made it this far" she said tucking her hair behind her ear.
"I know. I'm okay. It's okay" I smiled trying to hide that I really wasn't.
"Yeah me too" she smiled back just as fake. But there was something that told me she knew that I was faking just as well as I knew she was and that in itself was comforting.
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We talked for a while after that about mostly nothing. It was good to have a friend that wasn't Ashton or Michael there.
Once everyone got home, Michael and Elliot's act of not knowing each other was nearly perfected.
"Let's play headbandz!" Calum yelled randomly.
It was probably the alcohol we had all consumed, but we agreed.
After being a shelf, giraffe, and doctors office, I decided I'd had enough of the game. "Let's play something better" I said taking off the blue plastic headband and throwing it at Ashton.
"And what do you suppose me play" Luke pulled me into him.
"Hide and seek" I thought out loud.
"Or truth or dare" Elliot said
"Elliot that would've been so bad ass if we were in seventh grade" Katie and Calum laughed.
"Truth or dare Ashton" I interrupted.
"Truth"
"Who is your celebrity crush?"
"Will smith" Katie whispered.
"Will smith" Ashton repeated l, not hearing her. I laughed at them and waited for someone else to ask
Luke moved his hand up my arm and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Michael truth or dare" Ashton asked.
"Dare" Michael smirked.
"I dare you to hook up with Elliot" Ashton said smugly.
He had to have known, because Michael couldn't refuse because everyone would want an explanation.
"We'll see" Michael laughed. Elliot watched him intently. Smiling when he did.
I leaned closer into Luke.
"Lia" Michaels turn.
"Yes?"
"Truth or dare?"
"truth" I always picked truth.
"What's your favorite thing about Luke?"
Michael asked.
"Pass"
I must have thought that was the funniest thing to respond with because I didn't stop laughing until Luke peeled the bottle of clementine vodka from my hands and carried me to bed.
"I love you" I said and he climbed under the covers next to me.
"Your so drunk" he laughed pulling me into him once he was settled.
"But I love you too" he kissed my forehead and closed his eyes.
He looked so much happier when his eyes were closed. I wondered what he was seeing on the other side, and I wondered if I was a part of it.