Mila Wilson is quiet, anxious and a little bit of a mess. Panic attacks have ruled her life for as long as she can remember - but starting college is her chance to take control. Love? Not something she believes she's built for.
Then she meets Jace E...
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"I mean... I'm on the pill," I add quickly, just as quiet as before. "I have been since I was sixteen."
Jace's face shifts in an instant, his expression tightening as understanding dawns. "Really?" he asks me surprised, looking deep in thought.
I nod, not hesitating for a second to share it with him. He's already told me how he's handled this kind of thing with the others before. With him, I feel safe, unburdened, and not worried one bit.
I almost feel stupid for bringing it up, knowing Jace probably won't agree with me. There has to be a reason why he's used a condom with everyone else, always stayed on the safe side. It works both ways, both people have to fully trust each other to take this step. And he obviously doesn't know much about my past. I feel embarrassed to even talk about it, but I know I need to say something. My cheeks flare up, slightly flushed.
"It would be my first time," I say quietly. "I haven't done that with anyone else."
"You don't have to explain yourself, Mila," he says, his gaze not leaving mine. "I want to feel all of you, I do. I just need you to be one hundred percent sure."
I nod my head right away, returning his gaze. "I trust you," I tell him, fully aware of the meaning these words hold for us.
His gaze softens, and he nods back. "Okay. I trust you," he says with emphasis on the you, making my heart melt.
I can't help myself, I have to reconnect our lips right in an instant. Jace uses his hands to push me back onto him before slipping a finger into me one last time. Suddenly, he lifts me up with his hands on my waist, before letting me down onto him softly.
I gasp for the second time today, when I feel him entering me completely. I always thought people are over exaggerating when they say this is so much better without a condom. Now I know they're not.
Jace lets his head fall back onto the bathtub. "Oh fuck," he murmurs under his breath. I repeat the same motion over and over again, lifting and lowering my hips onto him. I hold myself steady by grasping onto the white tub behind Jace's shoulders. Even though this is already as amazing as it gets, I wonder what this would feel like without the hot water surrounding us.
Jace lifts his head again, staring right into my eyes. I can't help but feel slightly self-conscious, with my body in his full sight, moving up and down before him.
"Keep going, babe. Slowly," he says low, encouraging me to keep on moving.
Little sighs leave my mouth at the intense feeling, and I try not to go faster like demanded. Jace's hand makes its way to the back of my head. He's tugging on my hair, bending my head backwards slightly. Taking full advantage of my position, he bites my neck gently. The tingling deep in my stomach only intensifies. He works his way up, the bites and little kisses come closer to my ear.
"You're all mine, only mine," he whispers, and I believe his every word. I want him to be the first and last person to touch me like this.
Nodding my head slightly, I feel that I'm close already. The sensation of his skin, the hot water and his words are too much for me to handle. I start to lower myself on Jace even deeper than before.
