Mila Wilson is quiet, anxious and a little bit of a mess. Panic attacks have ruled her life for as long as she can remember - but starting college is her chance to take control. Love? Not something she believes she's built for.
Then she meets Jace E...
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As I anxiously wait for Jace to arrive, my phone buzzes in my pocket for the second time. I pull it out, expecting it to be Jace, but to my surprise, it's a message from my dad in the group chat with my sister.
Hey girls, how are you doing? he writes.
I respond immediately: Good, how are you, Dad?
Conversations with him are rarely deep, and never long. We cover the surface and move on. That's just how it's always been.
But then he replies: I'm terrible, actually. I've made a huge mistake and I hope you guys won't hate me for it.
My heart lurches. I freeze, staring at the screen. What does he mean?
What is it? Tell us, I text back, hands trembling. My sister replies too, three question marks in a row. Then it comes.
I don't know how to say this... I cheated on Julie, and she just found out. I feel terrible and can't take it anymore.
I reread the message, trying to process the words. My dad cheated—again. This time on Julie, his so-called dream wife. I'm stunned. Nauseous. Furious. Sad. And yet, somehow, not surprised. Once a cheater, always a cheater?
He cheated on my mom with Julie when I was six. That was the first time my heart learned how to crack. They've been together fifteen years. And now he's broken her heart too. He gives us a few vague details, we ask some follow-up questions. Eventually, I can't hold back anymore. I tell him that we're disappointed. He doesn't take it well. He says he can't handle being "punched from all sides." But what did he expect? That we'd throw him a parade? That we say "Yay, go Dad! Cheating's fine?" Because it's not. Nothing's fine.
And as much as I resented Julie for what she represented back then, she's been a mother figure for us too. She didn't deserve this.
Dad gets defensive. Says we're "clearly on the women's side." Like that's a bad thing. My blood boils. My family is so unbelievably messed up. The tears come hard and fast. I start shaking, just as I hear a knock at the door.
Perfect. Jace is here. The last thing I want is for him to see me like this. Quickly, I type out a message to Julie: If you need someone to talk to, we're here.
I wipe the mascara streaks from under my eyes, trying to pull myself together. Waving my hand in front of my face to stop crying, I slowly open the door. Jace steps in, placing a brown paper bag on my bed. His eyes lock onto mine immediately.
"You're crying," he says, concern all over his face. Despite my best efforts, I clearly failed to hide it.
"I'm not," I mumble, eyes glued to the floor.
Jace walks over, tilts my chin up like he always does. "Don't lie to me."
I shake my head, trying to hold it together. I don't want to bother him with any of this. "It's nothing."
