Different

26.

Jace takes a deep breath. "I messed up Mila, and I'm sorry" he says, rubbing one hand through his face.

"How?" I ask him tired, crossing my arms.

I see that he's struggling. "Just listen until I'm done. Promise?" he asks, leaning both his forearms onto his thighs. 

I silently nod. Another sigh from Jace. 

"When you left, Jessica messaged me" he starts silently, really careful of his words. "It was nothing interesting, just like what's up and all that" he continues. "But that night, Friday, I felt so strange, I can't even explain it. You were gone and after us constantly being together these few weeks, it made me feel... weird. I don't know, I guess it scared me somehow."

I still have no idea what he's trying to tell me. "Scared?" I ask him, almost in a cold tone.

"I instantly missed you, Mila. And it scared the shit out of me. I've never felt anything like it before" he says and I remain silent. "I didn't know what was going on with me, so I did the only thing I'm good at. Mess up" he adds, while ironically smiling to himself slightly.

At this point my anxiety is rising even more than it did before, naturally I start shaking a little. Jace notices right away and sadness becomes visible in his eyes. He places one hand on my thigh, like he usually does when we're in the car together. 

This time it doesn't help me, it just makes my anxiety worse. I tense at his touch and Jace immediately removes his hand with a pained look on his face.

"Jace, just tell me" I say eagerly, yet quietly.

"We... well I" he emphasizes. "I started flirting with her. Asked her for... you know... nudes and stuff" Jace says quietly, and my heart sinks for the second time today. 

That can mean anything. Flirting can mean so many different things. And even though he told me what's going on, he made it sound like it wasn't anything bad. Yet, his reaction earlier told me differently. There's only one way to find out how bad this situation really is.

"Can I see?" I ask him not proud of myself, but I can't just drop it. 

I need to know what exactly he means, what exactly happened. How am I supposed to trust him now? I look down to my lap as Jace sighs another time. 

He rather unwillingly gets up to grab his phone from the shelf that it's still laying on. He opens the chat and hands it over to me. I try not to read too much, but the chat did start with Jessica saying hi and asking Jace what he was doing. I guess my thought from the party was right after all. She did come back to him.

The chat seems casual until I arrive at the messages starting at about six in the evening. Jace answered Just chilling in my bed, i'd rather be in urs though. I cringe at the sentence, but  keep on reading nevertheless. In my bed? With me? Jessica says. Jace's answer is punch in the face number one. No place I'd rather be, you know that. Why don't you send me a picture like old times?