Secrets, Love and Lies (18+)

32 - End of the Road

I want to know when my life went from complicated to some kind of off the rails, freewheeling over a cliff until I crash and burn kind of drama.

Dinner with Alex would have been nice in another life at another time. Instead, it was awkward, frustrating, and painful all at once. He was the perfect, attentive boyfriend, dreaming and planning our future over a beautiful Italian meal together. And he's acting like none of the craziness from our past week even happened, as though finding out he is my brother is just some figment of our collective imagination. He's planning travel and work and settling down and getting married and having a family like there's not a thing in the world wrong with it all.

I barely speak a word all night, lost in thought as I process what I need to do. I love Alex, probably more than any person I've loved in my whole life. But he's my brother. It's unfair and cruel that the universe played this horrible game with us, tricking us into falling in love with someone we could never have.

Though I wish with everything in me that none of it was true, that I could somehow be with him, I know it's something I need to accept. Alex refuses to hear a word I say, he's made up his mind and won't let me speak against it.

He thinks he's about to leave for Italy with me tomorrow.

What I'm about to do now is only because I have no other choice. I can't make him see reason and I finally understand that he'll never leave me. Alex isn't thinking clearly - he's not thinking about the rift this will cause in his family, in our family if they find out what he's planning right now.

It's dark, and I'm standing outside the hotel while my brother sleeps soundly in our room, the last place we're staying in North America before our new life in Italy begins. At least, that's what Alex thinks.

"Hello, who is this?"

I pause and inhale deeply, steeling myself.

"Lily?"

"Yeah, Luc it's me." My feet shuffle with nervous energy as I look across the busy parking lot and into the street. It's late, but there are still a few people still milling about the city. A homeless man is carrying an overflowing grocery cart down the sidewalk toward a highway underpass just down the road and a few late-night partiers have just walked through the glass double doors of the economy hotel we chose. We're here because it neighbours the 'park and fly,' whose massive parking lot looms with glowing green and white signs from across the street. Alex has planned to leave his car here for his family before we shuttle to Pearson Airport tomorrow.

"Why are you calling in the middle of the night? What's wrong? Are you okay?" The panic in his voice is evident, and I want to answer yes, except it wouldn't be true.

"You have to find us. You have to send them to get us at the airport tomorrow." My voice is strained from choking back tears.

"What the hell are you talking about? I thought you were leaving the country...that your family had gotten your passport. I don't understand."

"Alex wants to go, Luca. He...won't stay behind. I can't...I just need you to set it up, make it look like you found me. Intercept us at the airport before we leave."

"Why can't you just tell him? I don't understand, Lily. Why are you doing this?"

"Luca, I can't...just please, make it happen."

There is a long pause and I wonder if the call has dropped. Suddenly he breathes into the phone and mutters "fine, but we're talking about this when I get back, alright?"

"Alright, sure." A heavy sigh escapes my lips. The street has become quiet again, but for a bit of traffic passing by on the road. The air is cool, and I shiver, wishing again for my jacket.