Secrets, Love and Lies (18+)

7 - What Darkness Lies in the Past

5 Years Ago

The sense of dread that once hid in the back of mind now commands my full attention by the time Luca has parked his car in our winding drive.

He gently leads me toward the house with a firm hand pressed to my lower back and I wonder if it's because he can sense my instinct to run. Every step toward the grand front doors of the house heightens my desire to bolt in the other direction.

Sighing in defeat, I finally pull the front doors open and step into the foyer. It's approximately two a.m. and I'm greeted with a silent house, so I slowly breathe out a sigh of relief. I turn to speak to Luca but freeze in place when I see my father suddenly barreling down the hallway in my direction, his face ablaze with fury.

Luca instinctively moves to my left, placing a protective hand on my shoulder as my father's tirade begins. I'm grateful to have him at my side; he's the only one that really knows how terrified I am of Gunnar when he's gets like this. I feel him gently squeeze my shoulder in a show of support.

"WHAT. IS. WRONG with you!? I told you to stay home, so I expected you to be home! Do you really think I don't know when my own daughter has left the house!?"

I remain quiet, eyes fixed to the floor as I silently pray that his rant will quickly end this time.

"Everything I do is for you! To keep you safe, to give you a future! And you're determined to destroy yourself, to destroy me!"

He has moved in front of me, now gripping my chin tightly, lifting my jaw and forcing me to make eye contact with him. His expression terrifies me, and I take a step back. Luca maintains his show of solidarity by remaining at my side even though I know Gunnar unnerves him equally, though for different reasons.

Gunnar suddenly turns toward Luca, as though just realizing he is there. "You can stay in a guest room tonight – I need to speak with my daughter alone," he says, dismissing Luca with a nod of his head. When Luca doesn't move, my father decides not to argue, instead, roughly grabbing my arm and pulling me upstairs toward my bedroom. His furious pace has me stumbling and tripping over the stairs, but he doesn't seem to notice or care.

Luca follows behind me, apprehension drawn across his features. Gunnar pulls me through the doors of my bedroom and closes and locks them behind us, shutting Luca out and cutting off my lifeline.

As Gunnar roughly sets me on the edge of my bed, he opts to stay on his feet and pace in front of me in a power pose, ready for round two.

"You need to learn responsibility. You need to remember your place in this family, and how much danger you face going to these places with no protection!"

As Gunnar continues his pacing while running his hands through his hair, an unrecognizable expression washes over his face.

"And you will not make a fool of me! You will do as I tell you, do you understand me!?" He continues to yell and pace, and then pauses suddenly while he begins muttering incoherently to himself. He reminds me of a caged, rabid animal, and I'm legitimately terrified.

He then stops abruptly, looking into my eyes. "I asked you if you heard me?"

I'm frozen in fear. This is the worst I'd ever seen my him; something is very wrong. Gunnar has never held back his anger from me, but this - this is something entirely different. In this moment, I don't recognize my father.

He stops and moves back to the bed, pinning me with his arms, and his hands move through my hair roughly until they rest on my cheeks.

His face comes close as he whispers, "I love you so much, beautiful, you have no idea what you do to me. But you need to remember your lessons."