°𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨°

025

He started breathing heavily as tears poured out of his eyes. He couldn't believe that just happened. Over a stupid misunderstanding. Why don't I feel that she loves me? I feel it, right? He kept questioning himself. He felt like shit, he didn't know what to do. Overreacting? No, he wasn't. Because it's difficult for him to lose his best friend and love of his life at the same time. He didn't have anyone else in his life. What's the point of living without anyone? There's no point. He stood up and dressed himself. His eyes were fixed to the mirror. He couldn't even look at himself. He hated himself. Because of a girl? Yes because of a girl. That girl that always drove him crazy. The girl that he hurt without wanting it. He wanted to punch the mirror right then, but it wasn't his. He couldn't just break it. Elice would start questioning. He wouldn't answer if she asked anything. What would he say? That he was pressuring her daughter to tell him that she loves him? That sounds stupid as fuck. Why the fuck am I still here? Where is she? He thought and run out of the bathroom. He walked up the stairs and opened the door of Isabella's bedroom, not caring if she could be naked. He looked around but the girl he wanted to see was nowhere. He ran in her bathroom but it was empty. He couldn't be alone right now. He needed his best friend. Not his lover. His best friend. She always knew what to say and do when he was crying or he was upset. But now she was the one that needed some type of help. No not help. An explanation.

He ran out of the room. His vision was now limited as his eyes were full of tears. He ran downstairs and in the kitchen where he wanted to see Elice, which he did. He walked up to her and she looked at him confused. "What happened hunny?" She asked him softly. "Where's Bell?" He asked coldly, not caring if he seemed rude or not. "She went out, she told us not to wait for her" she answered talking softly again which made Jaden feel bad about being rude. He lips parted as he was ready to say something, but the only thing he could do was nod. She left over 15 minutes ago, so there was no way he could find her. He just shook his head and ran back upstairs in her room. He grabbed his phone. It was really late at night, it was dangerous outside for such a beautiful girl. What if someone hurt her? What if someone touched her? His hands were shaking as he tried to call her. The phone rang eight times but she didn't answer. He kept calling her and calling her but she never answered. He decided to leave her a voice message, although she wouldn't understand anything because of his voice cracking. "Bell... I- I'm worried. Where are you? Are you okay? Please tell me that you're okay... If you don't want to talk to me just send me a message, but please let me know if you're okay... I'm sorry... I love you..." He said as he ended the voice message. He sighed and threw his phone on his bed but right after that he heard a notification, making him jump on the bed and grab his phone, quickly unlocking it.

Love of my life💗😍

I'm okay Jaden

He let out a sigh as a tear fell down his face. She's okay Jaden. She's okay. He quickly started typing, not thinking much.

Love of my life💗😍

I'm okay Jaden

Oh thank god
Bell you scared me
Please don't do this again
I'm worried
Where are you?
Read

H

e clenched his jaw knowing that she didn't want to talk to him. More tears. And more shaky breaths. More empty space inside him. He stood up and walked in the bathroom. He was not him at that moment. He was someone else. He was his hurt self that wanted to end everything. "Come on... Where the fuck are the razors" he mumbled while searching in the drawers. He didn't want to do it, but he also wanted to. He didn't care what would happen after. He finally found one in the last drawer. Did she put them there on purpose? So I wouldn't find them? He thought but shook his head trying to push away all the thoughts. Why am I doing this? I shouldn't... I shouldn't... But I want to... He thought and threw the razor on the floor. He stepped on it making it break. He threw all the plastic pieces away and kept the blade, looking at it like it was his worst enemy, but also the most addicting drug for him. No, that was Bell. At least the second most addicting drug to him. Oh if she knew that he had been cutting for two years, from when they were thirteen to fifteen. "Why are you always wearing hoodies? It's summer" "I'm just cold... And bored to change" Oh if she knew what was happening. She would kill him. For real. But she never knew. It's not difficult to keep it secret again right? It will also be one time thing right? You can't do it only once and you know it Jaden. I know but this time I will. He thought. He tried to convince himself that he won't do it again. But he would do it anyways so it was just a loss of time. He slowly moved he blade, holding it on his wrist. I made her feel like that? I did. Of course I did. I always do. He thought and slowly run the blade down his wrist. The slower he moved it, the most it hurt. But he kept moving it slower and slower. So it would hurt more. He finished with the first cut and looked at his hand. What have I done? He kept staring at his wrist as blood poured out of it. A slight smirk formed in his lips. Here you go whore. Take the pain you deserve, he told himself. He licked his lips and started making the second cut. See, you made her go away. You pushed her away. You made her feel alone too, and now you're crying? You're a dick Jaden. A dick. Another smile formed on his lips as he looked at the second cut he made. A chuckle escaped his mouth. He felt like he was on drugs. He didn't care about anyone. He didn't care if Elice walked in the room and saw him cutting, he didn't care if Daniel knew that he fucked his daughter, he didn't care if Sophie walked in him naked. He didn't care. He only cared about Bell. How could he just- do that? You deserve more pain you whore. He run the blade on his skin again. Faster this time. He didn't care to see it getting slower, he just wanted to see the blood pouring out of him. He wanted to watch himself suffering. He liked it. Not suffering, but watching himself suffering. He wanted it. He also wanted to get high. Or at least smoke something. But he didn't want bell to come back and see him like that. He would just wear a hoodie to cover the cuts, that wouldn't be difficult for him.