°𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨°

018

I went to school from Mads' apartment. I didn't talk to Bell all day, I am just trying to forget about her. It's been quite better since last night. It was a long ass night. But I won't get into details... It was now time for lunch and I walked up to the table where the guys were sitting.
"Hey" I said sitting down.
"Hey, how are things with Bell?" Avani asked.
"Good, why?"
"I don't know don't you feel weird about all this Jason thing?" She said. I laughed and looked down at my food.
"Look, I feel terrible but it's better. Okay don't tell Bell about this- I've been having sex with Mads... I know that they hate each other but- I just needed sex and something to get my mind off. So yeah we decided that it will be only sex and everything's great now-"
"Who decided that it's only sex?" A voice said from behind me. I sighed and turned around to face Bell. Fucking shit she gets even more beautiful every day.
"Nothing" I said turning back around. She left her food on the table and pulled me back.
"Who?!" She asked again.
"It's none of your business" I said. She pulled my hand and made me stand up. I clenched my jaw and looked down at her.
"It's Mads isn't it?" She said and I looked away. "It's fucking Mads?!" She asked again. "Jaden, I told you not to go back to her!"
"Why do you care so much?!"
"Cause I don't want you to get hurt again Jaden! I care about you! I don't want you to get heart broken again!" She said and I laughed.
"So now you care huh? You suddenly care about me and my feelings?! You know what Bell? I don't fucking care about my feelings anymore, you know why? Because you are the one who broke me the most" I said slightly laughing.
"W- what?"
"Oh come on! I've been fucking obsessed with you for years! I am in fucking love with you, as much as I don't want to! I tell you, and you say that you like me back! And then- I'm happier than ever! I- I want to give you the world and make you feel amazing! I try to show you all the love I feel for you and then-" I paused to look at her with glossy eyes. "Then something goes wrong... Something that I don't know! I don't even know if you know! You just- broke the whole thing and said that you wanted us to take things slow! And I said yes! Because- because I wanted to be with you- and I'd wait for you for as much as you need to! And then- the same fucking night you ask me what happens if you like another guy? Does that make sense to you?!" I said and she just looked down.
"Jaden I-"
"I told you that I'm okay with it, because your happiness is everything to me! I want to see you happy, even if that means that you like someone else and I'm just your friend! And the next morning you meet that bastard Jason! Where the fuck did that dude come from?!" I said laughing slightly. "You- you know how I felt when I saw you two sitting in the classroom? I was just- we've been sitting together since- I don't even know when! And I know that it sounds childish but it's important to me Bell! Because you're the only person I have in my life!" I said in the edge of crying. "And then... You start liking him... and go on a date with him... Kiss him... And I'm just sitting there watching you getting away from me! So yes! I wanted to have sex with her! Am I not allowed to?!"
"Jaden I'm sorry I didn't know-"
"I'm in fucking love with you!" I yelled feeling tears streaming down my cheeks. She was just staring at me. She stepped closer to me and hugged me, but I didn't hug back. I don't want to do this anymore. Pretend that I'm okay and just forgive her. I've been doing this forever. "I think we shouldn't be friends anymore" I said and she immediately looked at me.
"What?" She said tearing up. "N- no, Jaden, I'm sorry! I- I didn't want to hu-"
"Yes, but you did!" I said now crying. "I just- I don't want to be your friend Bell" I said and she shook her head again. He pulled me in a hug and started crying in my chest. I didn't hug back, again. I clenched my jaw and looked over at the guys. Avani was shaking her head.
"Don't do this" she mouthed but I ignored her. I slowly pushed Bell away but she started hitting my hands, hugging me again. I wanted to hug her so bad, but I also didn't. I out my hands in he resist and softly pushed her away. She looked right into my eyes and I slowly looked down. I walked up to the table and grabbed my bag.
"I'm staying at Josh's" I said and she grabbed my hand.
"Jaden please don't go, at least stay with me! I'll do anything to make up for it I swear, but please don't go!" She said crying. I shook my head and walked away.