°𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨°

011

I knocked on the door and after some minutes a sleepy avani opened it. She groaned at first but then noticed my tears.
"Babe what happened?" She asked me letting me in.
"Vani I- I fucked up" I said and she shook her head.
"Babe come here" she said hugging me. I started crying in her shoulder. She took my bag and pulled me in her apartment. She left the bag on the floor and we sat on the couch. I kept crying and she hugged me tighter. "Izzy, tell me what happened" she said and I nodded sitting up.
"Okay but- please don't tell anyone" I said and she sad smiled.
"Babe ofc I won't" she said and I smiled but then started crying again.
"Okay so- please let me finish first because it's a long ass story" I said and she nodded. "So... Some days ago... I found Jaden crying at 1 am... And I ask him what was wrong and he- he confessed his love to me and- he made me feel amazing telling all those good things about me and about how he's in love with me" I said crying. She smiled and I looked down. "And then... Me and Jaden kinda hooked up... We kissed and then had sex and... We kept having sex for these two or three days but- I felt like he doesn't love me and that he's using me" I said looking down. "I know that he wants sex and that he wants a girl that cares about him and- I also know that he tried this with me because I really do care but- I told him that I can't be his toy and give him sex" I said looking down. "He- he started crying because- because he can't make me feel loved and- and then he started talking shit about himself and that he ruined our friendship and-" I paused letting out a sob. "I told him that we just need space to keep this friendship alive... And- Vani I'm very worried about him! I don't want him to do something bad to himself!" I cried and she hugged me again. I kept crying in her chest for the next twenty minutes. Then we finally pulled away.
"Izzy... I don't think that he's using you babe" she said and I nodded.
"I- I don't know why I felt like it! And now I hurt him!" I cried.
"Babe no I'm not saying it because of that. I'm saying that you have to trust him babe. Jaden is in love with you and we all know it. We know how much he needs you. He always needed you. He won't hurt you. And especially won't use you. Ever" she said and I looked down.
"It's just- Jaden had a raw past Vani... And no one knows what he's been through and it just- it hurts knowing that he's been through all those and I- I don't want to jump into a relationship with him because- because I know that if we jump into a relationship and break up- he will be more hurt than ever- and- he won't be able to take it Vani! He will do something bad to himself! We will think that no one cares about him and- and he'll- he'll hurt himself!" I cried and she hugged me tighter.
"Shhhh" she whispered stroking my hair. "He won't do anything babe, I know that, he doesn't want to hurt you like that" she said and I nodded trying to convince myself that he'll be safe.
"I hope so" I said looking down. I pulled away from the hug and took some deep breaths. "Vani I- please don't tell these to anyone" I said and she shook her head.

"Jaden doesn't deserve all these... He doesn't deserve this world" I said looking down. She kept rubbing my hand to comfort me. "He- he was a lovely kid. He was always so happy" I said pressing my lips together. "He- he loved everyone. Everyone! He never did anything bad to anyone... He- he was- perfect... He was my best friend... And he still is... I hope... We were always together. We lived next door. He always came to my house so I would help him with the homework" I said and let out a smile. "He could never understand anything" I laughed a little. "His- his parents loved him so much... And me... And- he loved them too... So much. And- he would do anything for them... He- he loved them..." I said crying even more. "And... One day... He lost them..." I said and broke down crying. Avani doesn't know anything about these. I trust her and that's why I'm telling her all these. Because I know that she won't say anything.
"Babe please try to calm down" she said and I shook my head.
"He was with them Vani! He was in the fucking car! They died in front of him! They were coming home from school! He was happy! They- they had picked him up and went for lunch! And then- and then the other car came up to them and-" I started crying again. She was crying too at this point. "He was happy because they went for lunch all together! And they did that rarely! He was excited! We were at school and we were supposed to walk home together and then he smiled and said that he would go for lunch with them. And he was so happy. And then... He lost them. He was only 11 Vani! He was fucking 11!" I yelled crying. She let out a sob and shook her head. "He watched them dying! In front of him! He was right there knowing he couldn't do anything!" I cried. "He was numb Vani... He was so hurt... He- when the officers came to our house and told us... The only thing I could think of was him... He was in front of me, looking at the ground. I run up to him and hugged him, and for the first time in my life- he didn't hug back Vani. He was numb. He didn't talk to us for weeks. He was in my room... He never left it... We were cuddling every night and he was crying in my arms to sleep. And you know what was the first thing that told me after that? After weeks of not talking to any of us! You know what he said?!" I cried and he shook her head crying too. She came closer to me and hugged me. "'I want to die'. That's what he said. And he meant it Vani. I knew that he meant it. And I just hugged him tighter and shook my head. And then- he said- 'I only have you now'" I started crying more.
"Babe- please go find him- he needs you" she said between sobs.
"He- he told me to promise that I'd never leave him... And I left him" I said.
"Babe please go find him. Don't waste your time here. He didn't want to hurt you and you know that. But- if he does something bad Izzy... You have to be there and help him" she said and I looked up at her.
"You- you're right..." I said and stood up.
"You can leave your clothes here if you want... You can come another time" she said and I nodded walking up to the door. I looked at her and smiled before walking out.

I took a Uber and went back home. I tried to call Jaden many times but he didn't answer. I was so worried. Ugh I'm so stupid! He didn't use me! Of course he didn't! How could I think if that! After everything that he's been through... I really thought of that?! God I'm so fucked up. The Uber driver was looking at me weirdly as I just cried in the backseat. I looked at him when we got home and I sad smiled giving him the money. I run into the house and grabbed my keys from my back pocket. Shit shit shit I hope he's here. I opened the door and called his name.
"Jaden?" I said but no response. "Jaden?!" I said crying harder than ever. "Jaden?!" I screamed running in the bedroom. No Jaden here. I looked at the bathroom door. No no no. If he's in there- I quickly run up to the door and opened it. He's not here. Oh thank God. Okay okay. He must be to one of the guys' houses. Yes. Okay okay. Oh my God please. I quickly pulled out my phone and texted the group chat.

Dumbasses

Me
Omg guys please
I don't know what to do

Blake
What happened?

Avani
It's about Jaden

Bryce
What happened with Jaden?

Me
We had a fight and
Actually a big fight and he
was really bad like
He was crying so bad
I don't know where he is please
tell me that he's with one of y'all

Josh
He's with me, in my
apartment

Me
Oh my God Josh thanks
Please keep him safe I'm coming

Josh
Umm... He's not really
good right now so yeah

Me
What the fuck do you mean
"he's not okay"?!?!

Josh
I just-
Just know that he was
already like this when
he came here

Bryce
Oh oh

Me
Shut up Bryce
You're making it worse

Bryce
Sorry sorry
I'm coming
I'll pick you up
You're not going
there alone

Me
Thanks I'm waiting

Bryce
Be there in 10

Josh
Guys please hurry

I walked out of the apartment. I was so upset. What did Josh mean by "he's not okay"? What happened? Did he try to kill himself? No... he wouldn't do that right? Right? I saw Bryce's car and run up to him as soon as he stopped the car. I was still crying. I got in the car and he drove off. I broke down again.
"Hey hey hey" he said putting his hand on my thigh. In a friendly way tho. "Don't worry, he's gonna be okay" he said. I just shook my head and stayed silent. The only thing to be heard were my sobs. We finally arrived and I run out of the car as soon as Bryce parked it. I rang the bell and josh opened the door.
"Where is he?!" I practically yelled as I walked in.
"Izzy please calm down and listen to me" Josh said. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. "He is okay. He has been crying and... He told me about you two but I won't tell anyone okay? Don't worry" he said and I sad smiled nodding. "Also, you two can use the spare room and you will stay here the night. I don't care what you say, you're not leaving"
"Thank you" I said and hugged him. He held me by my shoulder and led me out of the bathroom.
"He's in there..." He said and I nodded.

Josh waked away, probably in the living room, with Bryce. His apartment is big, so we don't have to worry about noises. I mean crying... (Yap nothing suspicious here🙂). I knocked on the door and I immediately heard him sniffle. Oh God. He needs me. And I need him.
"Go away Josh" he said with his voice cracking.
"It's me" I said softly and I heard him rushing to open the door. He immediately looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"B- Bell" he shuttered looking at me. I took his hand and dragged him to the spare room. He kept crying while we walked there. I closed the door and walked to the bed. I took off my shoes and sat on it. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, standing in front of the door. I sad smiled at him and opened my arms. He broke down crying and walked up to me hugging me. He buried his head in my chest and started crying. He kicked his shoes off and I lay in the bed. I pulled him on top of me as he kept crying in my arms. "Please don't leave me again"