The Convenience of Narcissism

Chapter Three- The Mary Poppins Effect

When I was young, I saw this beautiful movie about a woman who could do the most amazing things. She was a fictional character based loosely on the writings of one P.L. Travers. A positively delightful woman. If you don't believe me just watch the movie "Saving Mr. Banks". Anyways, the character she created from her childhood memories was quite peculiar in nature. The words that would come out of Mary Poppins mouth were altogether different from the actions that appeared on screen.

Book Mary and film Mary were as different as night and day. I think we have Walt Disney to thank for that. The amalgamation resulting from these two influences produced a musical masterpiece that has delighted the hearts of generations. This childhood classic had all the hallmarks of great entertainment for children of all ages. That being said, there is another more subtle element that we laugh off, but to the trained eye reveals that there's something about Mary that is also highly disturbing. No, it's not her leaping out of sidewalk art, or her all-purpose carpet bag that was bigger on the inside. While Disney went to great lengths to keep the movie upbeat and silly, he did very little to edit Mary's words that revealed her dark passenger was alive and well. No, I'm not talking about her talking parrot umbrella. All I can say is, that poor parrot. The way she treated her umbrella is the window into the darker side of Mary.

Before I go any further, I want to make one thing quite clear. I have always and still do love this story. I have the utmost respect for the actors who portrayed these characters, and all who shared in its production past and present, but I would not be fair if I ignored the glaring expressions of intrenched narcissism revealed in Mary's dialogue, as well as her moments of self-adulation when in the presence of her own reflection. The obvious mirror scene also leads me to believe that Walt deliberately planted this thought in the movie, in hopes that one day someone would come along in emperor's new clothes like fashion and reveal Mary for her blatant narcissism. Yes, Mary Poppins was practically narcissistic in every way.

Now, don't get me wrong. Everyone loves Mary. I love Mary. That is my point exactly. A skilled NARC can lead a crowd and keep them entertained at the same time. We might have fooled ourselves into believing NARCs are these little anti-social trolls that hide under a bridge like a hermit. Well, some may, but there are different types of NARCs. Some hide under bridges and others stand on mountain peaks for all to see. They lead empires and start revolutions. They are often the heroes of history. We follow them because we admire them. We feel happy at the convenience that they produce as they invent new ways to be self-absorbed, self-obsessed, and selfish.

Don't let your affection for this delightful musical, blind you to the grandiose narcissism promoted in this fictional child-care expert. If you have been around a NARC in close company for any period of time, there is one thing you can be absolutely sure of. The NARC will never openly admit to being wrong. If you are one of their loyal subjects your NARC has also made one thing quite clear. They won't apologize for anything. At best you will get an acknowledgement that you misunderstood them when they condescended upon your character. Now, please don't misunderstand. Mary followed a carefully written script. So, you won't catch her, excusing someone else's inadequacies, but it doesn't stop her from belittling others at every turn. Comparing a little boy to a codfish does not become more palatable to the ears simply because she added the Royal "we" to the sentence (respect to Queen Victoria).

I recently read an online blog that delved even deeper into this study of Mary's NARC-like behavior. It revealed how Burt, worked as Mary's enabler who was carefully placed in the story to justify Mary's offensive attitude while at the same time, acting as the only reasonable person in the story who could help Mr. Banks make a life-changing breakthrough. In effect making Burt the true hero of this story. I could probably write a novel on this story alone; however, I will leave you to notice the blatant narcissism for yourself. Please understand I'm not trying to ruin your enjoyment of this classic. I am exploring how someone who seems wonderful on the surface can still have their dark passenger to contend with.

Don't be ashamed of this truth. Embrace the reality that we all have an inner NARC. Danger comes to us and others when we are unwilling to accept it. That is when we begin to intrench our NARC. Okay what is up with spelling intrench with an "i"? This has probably been bothering you for a while if you are reading this. Everyone knows entrench is spelled with an "e", so why am I using an "i"? Well, I looked it up and spelling it with an "i" is the archaic spelling and it has a closer meaning to my use in this book, than using an "e" does. Intrenched with an "i" carries the idea of looking down from on high as in a tower. This describes what a determined NARC will do when they are found out but refuse to bend to the reality of their narcissism. They intrench in their tower from on high, and if you pursue them, the next step is to release the flying monkeys (their willing supporters).

Just a side point. Did you ever wonder why Mary always descends from the sky? Maybe you thought she was an angel? Sorry to burst your bubble but she was about as angelic as Glenda in "the Wizard of Oz". Descending from on high is classic I. NARC behavior. If you are familiar with the prequel musical Oz story, then you know Glenda was as NARC as they come. "Good lord! NARCs are everywhere!" That's what I've been trying to tell you!

This is now the third chapter of this book, and if you are still reading you are probably wondering when we are going to start talking about how to defend ourselves against the NARCs. If so, then you will find the next chapter quite enlightening. We will begin examining some tools that will help us to start exerting force to break free from narcissistic patterns. Turn the page because we're heading back to school.