The Convenience of Narcissism

Chapter Twelve- Something More than Chess

When we were young, some of us may have had a rather whimsical take on life. We may have seen this world as a bright and beautiful place where everything is wonderful. This is not true with everyone. Some learned fear, even terror at a very young age. We expect our parents to be our protectors and role models in life, always there to make things better and reassure us when we are frightened. Sadly, far too many in their youth experience deep scars from a place that is supposed to be a source of comfort. As children we imagine our lives will be a wonderland, but all too often our wonderland becomes a living nightmare.

Even when our lives are relatively peaceful, sooner or later we all experience some tragedy in our lives that may shake us to the core and challenge our faith in the goodness of everything. Like Solomon in our previous chapter, we may start to think that life itself is futile. If these feelings overtake us one might even, consider ending their own life to escape the pain. If you have come this far in this book, please don't give in to such feelings now. There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel, but we have to endure the pain to reach a place of healing.

We will now explore the experience of a family that lived thousands of years ago. No one really knows precisely when they lived. The main figure in the story was simply named Job. Some Arab writings seem to indicate that his name was actually Jobab. He lived somewhere in the middle east possibly in the ancient region of Edom.

He was reported to have had ten children in all. His wife is never mentioned by name, but she was a very important part of this story because she felt like many people do today when they experience loss.

The man Job was well known in his community for dealing kindly with others. It appears that he served with other men in making judgements regarding civil disputes that arose from time to time. He did not take bribes and sought to help others who might have been in need. He would instinctively make sacrifices on behalf of each of his children in case they had done anything that might be displeasing to God. His behavior had not gone unnoticed by his family and peers. He was also very wealthy. The narrative mentions that he had definitely caught the attention of his creator. Since he was so very anti-NARC in his behavior, he had also attracted the ire of a very disgruntled Papa NARC.

Something had to be done about this, dare I say righteous man? Papa NARC had not gone through all the trouble to infect the entire human race with an inner NARC, just to have this man undermine the argument he was trying to make about the design flaws of free-will. Yes, Job was about to become a case study for a question that had been floating around since the first human couple decided to embrace narcissism.

The stage was now set for the greatest chess match in history. Ironically, chess probably didn't even exist yet, but the principles of seeing the long game or using wisdom to make long term decisions was definitely now in play. This was no game. Lives were involved. Some lives were about to end. Ten precious lives to Job and his wife. Why would God allow this? What could possibly be so important to allow so much suffering? If that weren't bad enough, all his livelihood, his live-stock, everything would be gone in the blink of an eye. Then when it appeared things couldn't possibly get any worse Job was plagued with a boil that apparently covered every inch of his body. If he had an inner NARC, old Papa NARC was going to drag it out of him. Well, Job's wife had seen enough. She was done. She advised her husband to do the only thing that seemed to make any sense. She told him to just give up "curse God and die!"

You might think after that the story was over. Sadly, it was just beginning. The next thing that happened was the last thing Job expected. Three men whom he had once considered to be close friends came to see him but rather than offer comfort or encouragement, they began making accusations at him to try and figure out what he possibly could have done to deserve this kind of suffering. These men would paint God as a cruel narcissist that views humans as mere dust. A speck of nothing. This verbal abuse goes on for days. Job wishes he were dead. He becomes angrier and angrier. He never says it out loud, but he is furious with God for allowing all these things to befall him, when he had been working so hard not to be a NARC. Job began to boast about what a good person he was, and there it is. Job wasn't just righteous. He was self-righteous. He had begun to equate his works with his standing before his maker. He almost crossed the line with his lips, and then a fourth man appeared on the scene. This mysterious figure claimed to be younger than all those who came before him. He began to remind Job that there may be more to the story than meets the eye. This allowed Job to take a step back to reflect on his situation. Was Job serving God with the right motive? Job had been relying on his own integrity, but what about the integrity of his maker?

Job had no idea of the conversation that had occurred between his God and old Papa NARC, but he still listened to a man who was years younger and yet spoke with far more wisdom than anyone else in his present company. Let's leave this group for a moment and take a closer look at how this had all come about. Papa NARC was looking for a way to state his case that all people are flawed by design. He reasoned as many atheists do today, 'If I'm messed up and God made me then he must be messed up too.' He indicated that humans will always make choices that serve their own selfish interests. You know, for the sake of convenience. Humans will always run from pain and pursue pleasure. Beat them with a stick and they will eat the carrot. The real question was: Is free-will worth having if using it means so much potential suffering?

This argument is why narcissism is so convenient. It is so much easier to give in and accept that Papa NARC is right. But what if he's not? What if this is not a game at all? What if something more than chess is at stake here. Job could not settle the issues because he was just like all of us. He had an inner NARC to contend with. His story is not over though. In the next chapter we will see what saves him from falling for the lie of Papa NARC. Turn the page because we are about to discover something that will fill us with absolute wonder.