The Convenience of Narcissism

Chapter Seventeen- Be Better

When he was young, a twelve-year-old boy got separated from his parents during a festival. He was quite mature for his age, and in his defense his parents had actually unknowingly left him behind imagining he must be with one of their relatives who were in the area. This kind of behavior is not uncommon in Jewish culture. In such a close family atmosphere there is no reason to worry if a child is lost in the group. Being the oldest, his parents would not expect to need to worry about him keeping up. His mother, however, did eventually notice he was missing and after discovering he was not with any of the relatives, began to panic in the way that only a mother can. She may have been especially frantic because her and her husband had not just misplaced their firstborn. She was very well aware they had lost track of the only begotten son of God.

Joseph and Mary franticly retraced their steps all the way back to Jerusalem where they finally found their missing son in the last place they expected but the most likely place considering who he actually was. Upon discovering him sitting among the religious leaders and teachers in the temple, Mary began to scold young Jesus of Nazareth for putting his parents in such a state of panic. At first glance his reply may seem disrespectful, however to this young man who did not possess an ounce of narcissism, her concern seemed odd. Although his knowledge was limited at this age and time in his life, he knew who his heavenly father was. As a youngster he hungered for knowledge. What better place to find it than in the company of some of the oldest and wisest teachers in all of Israel? Therefore, he replied with no doubt boy like innocence: 'Where else would I be but in the house of my Father?' If the priests and teachers present at the moment of this exchange heard him, they must have been quite perplexed since everyone knew Jesus was the son of Joseph from Nazareth. If they were, there is no mention of it.

There is no record of any other events in young Jesus' life for the next seventeen years. There are some spurious accounts not found in the Bible cannon that distort this truth about this young man. However, no narcissism is found in the true record of his life. Based on what we have learned about old Papa NARC in previous chapters it shouldn't surprise us to find narcissistic stories have crept into the narrative. If you have come across such works in your search for truth please do not allow such accounts to corrupt your view of this very special person who has had a tremendous influence on world history.

As the Biblical account states this young man 'went on progressing or growing in favor with God and men.' Nothing would change for the next two decades until his cousin would begin preaching a message of change that would draw Jesus' true purpose out into the open for all to see. One of the most challenging things for anyone with narcissistic tendencies is to apologize. For an intrenched narcissist this may seem impossible. So, when Jesus' six-month elder cousin began inviting everyone to repent it must have shaken the people of this proud nation to its very core. These were the very chosen people of God. They were being oppressed and occupied by a very narcissistic foreign military power. What on earth did they have to repent for? They had been serving God for thousands of years. They were descendants of great men such as Abraham, Moses, King David, King Solomon and so many others. There was nothing to be sorry about.

At the same time these proud people believed something that the surrounding nations did not. They knew that all of humanity had descended from two people who had given into selfish desires. This meant that no one was without a Selfish Internal Nature. Do you see it? SIN. This was the reality. All have sinned. This odd man who was related to Jesus on his mother's side was now going to set the stage for one of the greatest revolutions in the history of the world. This revolution was not a revolution to kill or destroy. This revolution would be a war against the true enemy of peace.

This man whose name was John would make his case with an illustration that symbolized the practice of cleansing one's self with water. The action of full immersion would come to be known as baptism. He would proclaim to everyone this one simple message: "REPENT!" (or be sorry.) Many came from far corners of the country. People had been offering animal sacrifices at the temple for centuries. Unfortunately, this method was now being exploited by those who were in charge of temple operations. The people were forced to pay exorbitant prices to be forgiven by God. Many of these were performing the ceremony, but few were really sorry in their heart.

In the midst of all of this around the age of 30 Jesus emerges as if from nowhere in world history and asks his cousin John to do something that seemingly makes absolutely no sense. Jesus asks to be baptized in the Jordan river. John was asking people to be sorry for SIN. Jesus was without SIN (Selfish Internal Nature). This odd request made no sense to John. He knew Jesus should be baptizing him since he was well aware of who Jesus really was. Although he resisted at first he eventually gave in and did as he was asked. Jesus had calmed him by saying: "let it happen just this once."

Jesus even in this one simple act was conquering narcissism because he was showing that we can be sorry even if we didn't start the conflict we may be going through. Sometimes we may imagine that we should only apologize if it's our fault. This line of thinking will blind an I. NARC to coming down from their tower. The ability to share blame is easy if you don't struggle with an inner NARC. One of the greatest steps we will ever take in our struggle with this internal foe is to share responsibility with others.  Our inner NARC has a clever way of getting around this. If you dismiss someone's apology it then gives you the freedom to go around telling others why you don't have to forgive.

Never hold the view that you have done no wrong. We have all done wrong at some time in our life. We need to be honest with ourselves. We are not perfect like Jesus but that is no excuse. He didn't come to show us what we couldn't do. He came to show us our true potential. He came to show us that we can be better. As you turn the page let's see how some today are seeking to improve things in the world around them by acknowledging that we all may have a big problem.