The Convenience of Narcissism

Chapter Four- Narcisissim as a Superpower

When I was young, I was walking through my elementary school playground, minding my own business. As I looked down on the asphalt, I noticed a dead bird lying there. Then I made a decision that would label me as "The Cootie Boy" for the next five years. A word of advice. Never pick up a dead bird and throw it in a trash can (especially if others are watching). This may seem obvious to you, however, to a six-year-old little boy it's not so simple. Within a very short period of time, rumor has it that I ate a dead bird off of the playground. Now, for most children this might have been a horrible stain on their reputation. However, for some reason I am now only starting to grasp, being labeled as a pariah to be avoided gave me a superpower. I was now more powerful than the school bully. All I had to do was flinch in the direction of another child on the playground, and they would start running. This was especially effective on the girls.

Now, I am going to spend a lot of time on this chapter explaining things that might have been unclear in previous chapters. For instance, why do I keep talking about my youth? To put it simply, since we all have narcissistic tendencies as adults, it stands to reason that these same behaviors were present in us as children. Our childhood shapes us into who we will become later in life. People will often say they don't recall their childhood. Now this may or may not be true with you. I'm not going to tell you what is true, but I do remember mine. Sometimes I was driving the narrative, and sometimes I was in the backseat observing my dark passenger as he took the wheel.

Many before me have had words to describe this shadowy figure. Sigmund Freud, labeled it the 'ego'. The Apostle Paul in the Bible referred to an inner struggle that he had to battle with. It is only when you can see yourself in the third person that you can begin to assess whether your behavior is good or bad. When you are in trouble is when your own self-view differs so much from the people in your life that your own self-delusion begins to harm others, and yourself.

There are different degrees of narcissism. That does not mean you should start labeling. Personality types often will lean more toward introvert or extrovert type behaviors. People who tend toward introvert like behavior are often labeled as shy or withdrawn. When an individual exhibits extrovert like behavior, they are labeled as outgoing or obnoxious. The trouble with labeling people is no one is absolutely one way all the time. One of the most dangerous labels ever devised is the word "normal". This word is more dangerous and divisive than racism because it fuels it. People tend to divide into two social camps mentally. The introvert leaning individual resents the extrovert's over the top expressions. In turn the extrovert leaning individual tends to think the introvert is lacking some quality that needs fixing. That makes about as much sense as the color blue on the color spectrum resenting red for being so extreme and vice versa. Poor yellow must just shake its head since it's so normal. Do you see my point?

Funny thing about colors. They are all reflecting light, just in different ways. And you know what? We love seeing these colors. Do you have a favorite color? If so, would you like it to be the only color you ever see for the rest of your life? If so, knock it off! Your inner NARC is making you say that just to be obstinate. Sad to say many will choose a silly response just to be right, but honestly the diversity of colors in the light spectrum is beyond what words can describe. We need different types of people just like shades and hues. However, because our inner NARC is such a little muggle, we think difference equals dissent that must be controlled and subdued.

Okay here are some buzz words to keep our cataloguing audience happy. I know you are not going to hear what I'm saying about labels so here we go. Trying to number I. NARC rules is a waste of time because I. NARCs aren't even aware that they are using them. Okay I. NARC rule one:
THERE ARE NO RULES!
DON'T TELL ME THE RULES!
MY RULES ARE MY RULES UNLESS I CHANGE THE RULES!

Now, here are a few rules we may have created to help us to cope with an I. NARC:
1) NEVER UPSTAGE A NARCISSIST!
2) NEVER TELL THEM HOW THEIR BEHAVIOR CAUSED YOU PAIN! (they don't care.)
3) IF YOU FEEL WORTHLESS THE I. NARC IS PROBABLY FEELING BETTER.