I Just Want to be Loved

Wait...What!!!

Buzz Buzz Buzz

It was a calendar on my phone going off. I looked at the screen and felt tears falling down my face.

I picked Danny up grabbed my comforter off of my little bed. I laid Danny back down, and then quietly walked so I wouldn’t wake any of the boys since it was midnight. When I got upstairs I went and sat on the couch.

I curled myself up in my blankets and sobbed uncontrollable. I just couldn’t help it. I mind was filling up with all the memories I cherished and would do anything to relive.

I just wanted to lie in down and remember.

I wanted to remember the time he was around.

I wanted to remember the time that he would look at me and smile.

I wanted to remember the time when he would cry and I would pick him up and calm him down.

I wanted to remember all the times he called me Mummy.

After a while, I heard someone wake up and walk upstairs. I tried to stop crying and I wiped my eyes, but the tears just kept flowing.

“Britt?” Louis asked when he saw me. When I didn’t respond, he walked over. When he sat me, he slid under the comforter next to me and cradled me in his arms.

“Britt, what’s wrong?” he asked and I just kept crying into his shoulder. “Come on, it’s your Boobear, you can tell me anything.”

“No, I can’t. You wouldn’t understand,” I told him.

“Please, you can tell me,” he said and started to rub circles in my back.

“It-it’s Brett’s birthday today,” I sobbed. Tears were streaming down my face faster than ever.

“How old would he have been?” he asked slowly.

 “Three,” I said and put my face into his shoulder again.

“It’s okay,” Louis said to me.

“No, it’s not. I just want to be with him. I miss him so much,” I cried.

“It’ll be okay. Brittany, I promise you that it’ll be okay. I’m here for you. I’ll always be her for you.” Louis was telling me sweetly. “You can tell me anything, I will never judge you. You just need to remember that everything will be okay.” As Louis kept talking, I fell asleep in his arms to the sound of his soothing voice.

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“Everything is going to be okay,” Jake said as I cried into his shirt.

“No, nothing is ever going to be okay,” I said threw my tears.

“Have you told your mum yet?” he asked.

“No, I don’t know how to tell her,” I cried.

“Just say, ‘Mum, I’m pregnant.’”

“It’s not that easy,” I told him.

“Yes it is. Just saying those three little words will make everything easier. Anything else you come up with is just going to the more complicated version of that.”