I Just Want to be Loved

Messages From Everyone

So, this is a little change.

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I'm going to put the authors note at the beginning this time.

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I would just like to say thank you to Meghan for helping me with all of the fricking voice mails that are in this chapter.

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Picture of Conner to the side!

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I love you my Sweeties.

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-Sammy

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I picked up my clothes that were on the floor and quickly got dressed.

‘Oh my god, what did I do? Why did I do it? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! No! Everything is ruined! Why! I can’t stay here anymore. I have to leave. I have to pack, I have to get away Why did I do this? Everything was so perfect here. Why do I always go around ruining things? Why can’t I just be normal and no a complete screw up? I just need to leave. I don’t want to be here when everyone wakes up. It’s going to be so awkward for everyone. They’re all going to call me names. I just need to get away.’

So many thoughts were running throw my head, but one thing was clear.

I had to leave.

I walked down the bus stairs and passed the bunks. When I got into the closet, I took my largest suitcase from by my dresser and unzipped it. I started to open my drawers and I packed in only the clothes that Danny and I needed.

I was going to take Danny with me. I asked the boys a little while ago if I should take Danny with me if I ever went on vacation, and they said yes. Well, I’m considering this a vacation, so I’m taking him with me.

As I packed, tears were streaming down my face. I was being careful not to start sobbing, because I wanted to make the least noise as possible.

After ten minutes, I had a suitcase and diaper bag packed, and I quietly took them to the bus door. Thankfully, we were already at the next venue so the bus wasn’t moving. Alfred was asleep in his little cot up in front, and he didn’t stir as I unlocked the door and carried everything out.

I walked back in and went to the bunks. I pulled back the curtain to mine, and Danny was laying there sleeping. I carefully picked him up, and carried him outside.

I called a cab to come and get me. It took me to the airport. When I got there, it wasn’t very busy, even though it was twelve thirty in the afternoon.

With the diaper bag around my shoulder, Danny in my arms, and a suitcase behind me, I went over to the desk.

“The soonest flight to Chicago please,” I told the lady behind the desk and she started typing away at her computer.

“The next flight is at one fifteen, but a last minute flight is very expensive,” she informed me.

“It’s fine,” I said and went into my purse and dug out my credit card and handed it to her.

This was times like these that I was thankful that the boys throw me a huge birthday/graduation party that a lot of famous people went to. Almost everyone had given me a fat stack of cash.