I'm not the one you think I am

Broken

(the next day)

*Revalis POV*

It's again one of those days. I don't eat, I don't drink. I just hide like a little child. I almost threw up. This always happens to me when I'm too stressed or train again too much...sometimes it also doesn't have a real reason. But today is worse than the other days. I feel again like I'm falling in a huge dark hole. I'm shaking, I'm freezing, I'm sick. Not good enough. I don't have my feelings under control. Again. Why is Link chosen to be the hero? I'm better...or should be better. But I get more and more insecure...he's getting all the attention, all the love, including Mipha's. What did Mipha do to me? She looks lovely. She cares about others, is friendly. And so, people like her. She awakes a feeling in me that I never had before. I don't know what it is. I'm afraid of it. Everything I learned was a lie! Everything he teached me about how to behave in front of others. And now, I feel like I can't change anymore. It would be weird if I don't talk and behave like I normally do wouldn't it? Nice and friendly instead of cocky and arroagnt. Plus, it would make me just more emotionaly vulnerable. All those rules he gave me...are they all lies? Push yourself harder, you will always be a disappointment, hide your feelings no matter what, kindness is weakness...

A disappointment, a shame, a wimp...that's what he's called me. I want to show him the opposite. I'm now the strongest in my tribe...I beated the adults when I was only 15 years old...I achieved something...but I didn't reach the top. And I'm lonely...but this is my least problem. I was always alone and I will be alone...forever. No one will ever like me. I don't know what a friend is, I don't know what love means. Unimportant. I determined myself to this. I'm fine with it. But I'm falling. Again. And I can't sleep anymore.

A depression is a mental disorder, characterized by sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, feelings of tiredness and poor concentration. It can be long lasting or recurrent, substantially imparting a person's ability to function at work or school, or cope with daily life. At its most severe, depression can lead to suicide.            ~WorldHealthOrganisation

I have no dried food left. My beak and my claws begin to look deshidrated. But I'm nor hungry nor thirsty. I'll eat this evening at the castle. I hope the others won't look at me too much. Stupid thought. Why would they? I want that someone cares about me but at the same time I don't. Am I weak when I accept help? He would say that. I'll just put my mask on and it will be fine. How can I bypass the time until evening? I still have my knifes in here...No! I don't cut anymore! It made me feel better back then...but it also destroyed me even more. I just wait, falling into sorrow and self-pity.