Everything in my life is falling apart
How much more pain can I fit in my heart?
You're telling me that I don't have to choose
But if I stay with her then it's you I'll lose
I know either way that I'm gonna be hurt.
There's just no other way that this is gonna work
Who can I believe when it all feels like lies?
If I lose everyone how will I survive?
I always knew the good times wouldn't last
But I'm not sure I'm ready for this to be past
I took my risks and they didn't pay off
And now all I'm left with is my grief and loss
I just wanted, for once, to feel alive
But now all I'm wanting for is to die
Better that than to face the chaos to come
Instead of enduring that day I'd rather just be done
Is this some gods way of punishing me?
Was trying to have hope a sign of my greed?
Should I have accepted and simply been happy,
With myself, my life, my achievements, my body?
How do you force a pride you don't feel?
How can I love a person I wish wasn't real?
I'm keeping my head up and carrying on
But sometimes it's so hard, I wish this wieght was gone
It's only me and I can't trust anyone
Bad choices firing off like bullets from guns
Was I asking too much when I prayed for a home?
I thought for once I'd stop feeling so alone.
It feels like I'm constantly apologizing to you
And to him and to her and everyone else too
Sometimes I feel like I'm best off alone.
Often I feel that I don't deserve that 'home'.
I've been fighting and pushing to tell myself that I'm wrong
But it's time I considered I was right all along
Maybe I'm more toxic and bad than I thought?
If that's the case and I decide it's true,
Then what in the fuck am I supposed to do?
If being alone is the only thing that is right
Then what is the point in continuing in life?
YOU ARE READING
Evolution Of Everything
PoetryA collection of poems, spoken word, and verbal processing. It's mostly here as a reminder for me of where I was and where I am, so that I never forget. Some of them are silly and fun, but most of them are deeply personal accounts of some of my harde...
