You know that feeling when you get into bed after a hot shower, and a long hard day of work? The sheets feel like cool, smooth silk against your legs and the blankets settle over you just heavily enough to be comforting but not restrictive.
That's the feeling I expected when we pulled up to the dorm on that hot, busy summer day for move in. But that night, after I'd set up my dorm, showered and laid down to rest on my pad on the floor, it was a completely different feeling that I experienced.
The buzz of the A.C. Units was a strange and unfamiliar sound, just one of many new sounds that filtered in through my open window with the warm night air. My sleeping pad was thick enough, and my blankets were warm and soft, but staring up at the stars I'd brought from home, that we're in a new position on this cieling, I wasn't comforted by their weight, but rather I felt stifled. Like I was being choked.
Throwing them across and off my body in a constantly repeating cycle, I struggle to acclimate my mind and my limbs to the new environment I was being faced with.
I slept poorly that first night. I slept poorly for some number of nights, staring at the friends and family I'd strung along the wall in a mix of clothespins and twinkle lights as sleep evaded me. I spoke to them while my thoughts, and my body, churned at night.
The more sleep deprived and delirious I became, the more it felt like they were talking back. Whispering to me through the dust that floated in the air like tiny fairies.
"It is so strange here, the sheets aren't cool and crisp, and even in the dark I can see the differences" I would say, staring at my friend's laughing face. Watching as she swayed in a sea of flowers, as tulips swallowed her like waves.
"Not all new things are bad." She whispered, disappearing into the darkness as my eyes closed.
I thought about that a lot the next few nights as I stared at those new stars on my cieling. "Not all new things are bad." I'd think, listening to the sounds of the city outside my windows as I drifted off to sleep.
"Not all new things are bad."
YOU ARE READING
Evolution Of Everything
PoesíaA collection of poems, spoken word, and verbal processing. It's mostly here as a reminder for me of where I was and where I am, so that I never forget. Some of them are silly and fun, but most of them are deeply personal accounts of some of my harde...
