Evolution Of Everything

LIKE

I don't like thinking about him constantly
I can't escape my thoughts of him, not even in my sleep.

I hate the way he makes me want to be better
I hate that I finally understand why girls want their boyfriends sweaters.

I hate the constant longing and my inability to ask.
I hate that I'm still willing to risk it, knowing good things never last.

I wish that I was braver, that I had less fucks to give
I wish that I was stronger and more willing to take risks.

I wish I didn't fuck it up in the beginning.
I wish that I'd been ready the first time that he'd asked me.

Cause we have good conversations,
And we can laugh at life,
Is it supposed to hurt this much,
Is this what "like" feels like?

Cause he doesn't think I'm wierd
And he's not afraid to laugh
But I know that I'm broken inside
And I don't think he's ready for that

I feel safe when I'm near him
I'm scared of everything but I don't fear him
And all I want is just to get a little closer
I want to touch him, but know I can't do that sober

Maybe I'm just touch starved?
Maybe I've made it all up?
Maybe somethings wrong with my heart?
And I'm just in "like" with the buildup?

My standards have been so high,
And maybe that's been my excuse all this time?
But it's not like I'm asking to be royalty,
I just want someone who wants me.

Cause we have good conversations,
And we can laugh at life,
Is it supposed to hurt this much,
Is this what "like" feels like?

I want someone funny, who's not afraid to laugh at a kids movie
I want someone who just coasts through life, that way they won't get too annoyed with me

I want someone who will make sure i don't get woken up if I'm taking nap,
Someone that I can protect, but that I know will have my back.

You make me wish that I was capable of being enough,
To have the strength and the bravery to not give up with things get scary or rough

I want someone who can see the strength of peristence instead of my weakness in my scars

I want someone who will let me run my fingers through their hair with their head on my lap while we stare at the stars.

Someone who tells me I'm acting normal, even thoughts it's a lie and we both know.

Someone who can see me at my worst and still think that I have worth. Who isn't afraid to show me themselves when they've hit rock bottom and met earth.

I want someone who wants to tough it out together, wants to talk it out together, then sit on a couch to cuddle and watch a movie together.

I want someone who wants to go on some crazy stupid adventures.
I want someone who asks as many questions as I do, and who's equally invested in the answers. 

I want someone doesn't hesitate to touch me, doesn't fear it. But also someone who respects a no when they hear it. 

I want to stop thinking about a person that I can never have, and stop setting myself up for yet another heartbreak that won't last.

I know that I should set my expectations just a bit lower, but I can not.
I don't know what kind of "like" this is, but it's the only one I want..